Tag Archives: Patience

Sharing the Joy of Faith: Life-Giving Rain

Today’s post is provided by guest blogger, Chris Lawson. Thanks, Chris!

Sharing the Joy of Faith Life-Giving Rain

by Chris Lawson

“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what is not seen.” Hebrews 11:1

The summer of 2016, when I was recovering from surgery, I could only make it to the bottom of this mountain. Each day, I would get a little farther. My husband walked with me and encouraged me. I remember one day, I got to the top, and even made it around the turn. I had to send him down to get the car, to come up and get me. He was so patient and loving.

God is the same way with us. Our faith sometimes feels covered with fog, but the Son comes and breaks through the clouds and even turns them into life-giving rain in the far distance.

Prayer: Dear Father, Thank you for reaching out to us when we are frail and beg for healing. You are such a good Father. Help us to keep the faith and believe in healing and most of all to believe in Your will for us to heal. Help us to look beyond what we see as impossible to see Your Possible, to be able to experience the witnessing of Your Glory. In Jesus’ Holy Name, Amen.

Tasting God’s Kindness

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by Lydia Floren

“…if you have tasted the kindness of the Lord.” 1 Peter 2:3

I eat fast. Really fast. My husband, Andrew, does too. Often when we are out to dinner, and the waitress breezes by to ask, “How are the first few bites tasting?”, Andrew is reaching for his wallet and I am asking for a “to go” box. Those of you who have shared a meal with us are nodding and smiling, aren’t you?

In our defense, we come by this food-shoveling habit honestly. It was a survival skill we each developed during our medical training. Here’s a typical scenario of dinner as a resident-on-call:

After multiple visits to the ER, two admissions and a crisis in the ICU, our four-to-five-member on-call team, finally catches a break. Uniformed in scrubs and stethescopes, we head down to the cafeteria, to stack our trays with the free hospital food. After settling into orange vinyl seats and tasting the first few bites, a beep-beep-beep sounds. And then, another one joins in. As everyone reaches for their pagers, an announcement drones overhead: “Code Blue, 4^th floor, west wing… code blue, 4^th floor, west wing.” Collectively we groan, and then grab our gear and rush upstairs to see about the emergency. Often – no, usually – by the time we make it back down to the basement to try to salvage the remainder of our cold meal, we find the cafeteria is dark, its doors bolted shut. Sigh. Another night of vending machine supper.

In residency, it became clear that you’d better eat fast, or you may not get to eat at all. Food wasn’t to be savored, just consumed, because the main point of eating was not enjoyment, but sustenance. Enjoying the taste of food was a luxury one could not afford, with such an unpredictable schedule.

Andrew and I have learned over the years that normal people don’t gulp or shovel. Normal people take their time, and actually seem to enjoy the taste of their food. They savor. They actually enjoy what they are eating. When I eat dinner with these folks, I find that I appreciate the flavor of my food more than I ever would on my own.

1 Peter talks about tasting the kindness of the Lord.

I love that word picture, because in order to taste something, you have to slow down and pay attention to what you are eating. Don’t we find ourselves rushing through life, consuming the blessings God gives us, but never taking time to savor them? In order to taste God’s kindness, we have to be willing to let go of our tendency to hurry, and embrace a more leisurely, thoughtful approach to life. Let’s face it: most of our rushing around is not because of life or death emergencies. It is primarily caused by an accumulation of commitments or desires – some important, some not so important.

So today, choose to not simply consume God’s kindnesses without really appreciating them. Instead, choose to taste God’s kindness. Take the time to notice the many wonderful ways He has, and is now, blessing you. Savor His loving presence always with you and within you. Enjoy!

Snowballs and Forgiveness

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Snowballs and Forgiveness

by Lydia Floren

I mess up. In big and little ways. I can judge people. Disrespect their boundaries. Poke my head in where it doesn’t belong. I can be inconsiderate and rude. Selfish. Unforgiving. I can neglect my health, Indulge myself in a pity party. Waste time…You get the idea. I mess up. A lot.

And, when I realize I’ve screwed up, I make it all worse by beating myself up.

“Why did you do that? you know better than that? What’s wrong with you?” And then, I pile on the guilt of past misdeeds, like I’m wagging a finger at myself. “That’s just like the last time…will you ever learn?…” And I have just started on my general sorry-ness. My favorite phrase at this stage of the self-guilt-trip is, “I am not enough.” I am not good enough, kind enough, considerate enough, productive enough, forgiving enough, _______ enough,. My accusations snowball into a huge mound of negative thinking that rolls over my hope. Pretty soon, I have convinced myself that, “I am a bad person. I will never change.”

This dirty snowball that has barreled down the hill of my past failures, finally rolls to a stop at God’s feet. I look up into His gentle, kind eyes.

“I’ve done it again, haven’t I Father?”, I say. (He nods) “I’ve messed up, and then made it all worse by beating myself up, instead of remembering that I am forgiven and loved. Thank you, that You came to set me free of this condemnation. Remind me again, please, of who I am, and who You are.”

“You are, My precious child,” He responds, “so precious and valuable to Me that I was willing to give My life for you to be with me in eternity. Never forget that. I am more powerful than every evil in this world, and I love you. I have already paid for every single one of your transgressions—past, present and future. Instead of trying to fix yourself, just leave this all at my feet, every day, and follow me.

“Start again, today, right now. Enjoy this day I have given you, and be at peace. Know that as you walk with me, I am healing you day by day. I am exposing Satan’s lies and accusations and bringing you into increased truth in your life. So you can live as you were born to live: connected to me, accepted by me, made perfect by me, and used by me to love those who cross your path.”

Under the heat of God’s truth-light, my snowball of condemnation melts away,

until all that remains is a little patch of dirt. He reaches out with His foot and scuffs it away, and then His gaze meets mine.

“Where are your accusers?”, He asks.

“Gone,” I say.

He nods, and then responds. “Sin no longer has power over you. I have broken that power. I have set you free from its hold. Walk in that freedom. Go and sin no more, remembering that I am right beside you every minute, protecting and guiding you in your journey.”

We share a smile. Then He throws His arm over my shoulder, and together we step back onto our path, talking and laughing as we stroll along.

Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free. John 8:32

Distraction Detours

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by Lydia Floren

We all get distracted from time to time, especially those of us with ADD. Here is an example of what I call a “distraction detour” from my life recently:

I am finishing a task in the kitchen before I head out to run errands, and realize I need something from upstairs, so I run up to get it. I walk into the spare bedroom, and immediately notice that it is a mess. I pick up a book and put it on its shelf. And then I rearrange the shelf a little. And before I know it I have completely organized the room.

And then I look at the clock.

Two hours. I’ve been up here two hours. How in the world did I get started on this? Oh yeah, I came up here looking for something…what exactly was I looking for?

I shrug my shoulders, and hurry back down to the kitchen. As I enter, my eyes fall on a T.J. Max bag sitting on the counter. Oh yeah, the baby shower gift. That’s why I went upstairs: I needed a gift bag. I turn around and climb back up the stairs muttering “gift bag, gift bag, gift bag” with every step, so I won’t forget why I came upstairs this time, and end up getting side-tracked all over again.

Sigh. Distractions happen. And occasionally–more for some of us than others– they sidetrack us. An unplanned two hour detour in a busy day, shoots a hole in our careful plans, and keeps us from accomplishing as much as we had hoped. But we don’t have to let these DD’s ruin our day. When my day is disrupted by a Distraction Detour, I get frustrated with myself for letting it happen. All too often, I will continue ranting at myself for the rest of the day every time I think about it.

What is wrong with you? Can’t you even go upstairs and find a stupid gift bag in under two hours? Look at the time! Even if I hurry the rest of the day, I’ll never get everything done now!

Distraction detours impact our plans, but they don’t have to steal our joy.

So what’s a person to do when you recognize you have a DD? And how do you keep a Detour from turning into a Disaster? Here’s a few things I have learned in my long experience with DD’s:

PUSH THE RESET BUTTON.

As soon as you realize what is happening, stop. Take a deep breath. Give thanks. As my friend Denise often reminds me, “There is always always always something to be thankful for.” Next, walk through the rest of the GRACE pneumonic we’ve talked about before (see Living GRACE)—Give thanks, Release, Accept, Continue, Enjoy.

Give thanks. Thank You, God, for my mind, no matter how scattered it gets. For Your love and patience, for the way You made me. Thank You that You multiply my time, and will help me to do what is most important without worrying. And thank you for what I got done these last 2 hours, even if it wasn’t on today’s to do list.

Release. I give all my time to you, and all my plans. I release myself from the expectation of perfection. Please show me how to give myself grace, and lighten up a little (or a lot). And help me to quit “shoulding“ on myself.

Accept. Here’s where I am now, Father. It’s __o’clock. I have ___ hrs left in the day. As I regroup, show me what is most important. Help me to eliminate and concentrate.

[You might make a short to-do list, 3-5 things, depending on how much time is left.]

Continue. Start out fresh, right where you are, as if it was the beginning of the day,

Enjoy the rest of the day, free of worry and minus the self-guilt trip. God understands, and he loves us just like we are. So lighten up. Laugh a little, and then a lot.

Distraction detours happen to all of us. Don’t let them highjack your joy. Be kind to yourself. Step back, regroup, handle them with GRACE. Laugh a little (and then a lot) and move on!

Don’t remember the former things; don’t dwell on things past. Isaiah 43:18

Rejoice in the Lord always. Phil 4:4

Waiting for Directions

Praying for Patience

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“Whatever you do, don’t pray for patience!”

Have you ever heard someone say that? I know I have. It seems to be a common half-joking-but-more-serious warning, that Christians sometimes give each other. But why not pray for patience? Isn’t patience one of the fruits of the Spirit? Isn’t it a great asset in our relationships and our faith? Why shouldn’t we pray for patience? Here’s the reasoning:

“Don’t pray for patience,” people say, “because if you do, God’s going to send you a heap of trouble.”

But is that really true? Does God punish you for asking Him for patience? Does praying for patience give God a cart blanche to “Job-ify” your life by bringing you hardship?

No. Of course not.

Troubles are a part of life

In fact, Jesus made it very clear that difficulties are a part of life, including (and sometimes especially) for believers. “In the world you shall have tribulation” he said in John 16:33 If we think living a life of following God is trouble-free, we haven’t been reading our Bibles. Trials are a reality in each of our lives and they’re going to keep coming. Count on it.

An Opportunity

As far as I can tell, “praying for patience brings trouble” logic is based in a misunderstanding of Romans 5:3-4

“And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation works patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope.” Romans 5:3-4 (AKJV)

Notice that Paul doesn’t say, “Pray for patience and God will bring tribulations (troubles).” He says glory – or be thankful – in your trouble, seeing it as an opportunity for good – patience – to come from the hardships.

Our Choice

Hard times are acomin’, and they will keep on coming. We have no choice about that. But we do get to decide how we respond to adversity, and our choice will either make us bitter or better.

When we decide to give thanks (glory) in the middle of every situation, we are reminded that our difficult circumstance is not for nothing. At the very least it will strengthen our ability to be patient, and endure it with grace.

by Lydia Floren

The S Word

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by Lydia Floren

One of our favorite family phrases comes from the movie Aladdin. The little parrot, Iago, gets all upset and starts venting to his boss, the evil Jafar. Jafar’s response is simply this: “Paaaaatience, Iago. Paaaatience.”

What gets us so riled up, that we lose our patience with ourselves or others? For me, it is the S word. No, not the four-letter S word….the six-letter one: “should.” When “should” creeps into my thoughts and makes its way into my conversations, patience goes out the window. Joy is replaced by restless discontent. I start focusing on what is wrong instead of what is right.

“They should be doing this. I should be doing that.”

“They should fill all of these potholes.” “I should get more respect.” “The computer system should always work perfectly.” “I should be able to manage my time better, or be a better person.”

Should is a toxic word. It poisons our peace and eats away at our patience. Shoulds stress us out and put stress on those around us.

Cure for the S word

The cool thing is, there is a cure for the S word–the “should” infection. It’s the T word: thanksgiving. The practice of giving thanks in all things stamps the shoulds right out of our life. Gratitude banishes discontent, restores our joy, and replenishes our patience.

“Thank you Father, that we have paved streets, and that these potholes will eventually be filled.” “Thank you that You respect and value me, and are teaching me to respect and value myself.” “Thank you that the computer system works 99% of the time, and there is a great team of people working on keeping it that way.”

It doesn’t come easy.

Replacing the “S” word with the “T” word takes some practice. It doesn’t come easy. In fact it can feel quite awkward and contrived, especially at first. But, it is incredibly powerful at restoring our perspective and our joy.

“Thank You that every single one of us is imperfect and in process, and You love us right where we are.” “Thank You that we are each fearfully and wonderfully made.” “Thank You that I don’t need to do anything to earn your love, and there is nothing I can do that will change it.” “Thank you that You are always present and at work, and working things to good.”

“Thank you that there is always, always, always something to be thankful for.”

When we cultivate a grateful heart we quit “shoulding” all over ourselves and those around us. Our words and actions are motivated by love instead of driven by discontent.

How has the “S” word invaded your life? What happens when you replace it with the “T” word?

So, What’s a Person To Do?

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So, What’s a Person To Do? [DIY?? Series, Part 2]

by Lydia Floren

If you are like me, most of your life you have heard some version of this saying:

“If you want something done right, you better do it yourself.”

But, guess what? Those words, and that concept, are not in the Bible, anywhere. In fact, when we act independently in our lives – apart from God – we are doing the opposite of what the Bible teaches.

But, when things get tough, it is easy, isn’t it, to ditch our faith and take matters into our own hands? Especially, when our difficulties seem to go on and on, without our being able to see any hope or resolution. When we quit waiting for God and choose self-reliance, our actions can take many forms, including avoiding, complaining, controlling, or self-indulgence. And, invariably, our way of doing things doesn’t make things better. Quite the opposite: it usually makes them much worse.

So, what’s a person to do when things go wrong, and continue to go wrong?

Wait. Patiently wait. Trust the God-Who-Loves-You. And then, keep on trusting Him.

The Old Testament Israelites whined a lot. Isaiah 40 is a reality check for one of their gripe sessions. In the first part of the chapter, Isaiah answers their complaining by first reminding them of who God is. For example, in verses 12 and 13 he says,

“Who else has held the oceans in his hand? Who has measured off the heavens with his fingers?

Who else knows the weight of the earth or has weighed the mountains and hills on a scale?

Who is able to advise the Spirit of the LORD? Who knows enough to give him advice or teach him?”

“Really? Are you serious?”, Isaiah seems to be saying, “Don’t you realize who you are talking to? Listen while I refresh your memory.”

The last part, Isaiah 40:27-31, is one of my all time favorites. I first encountered these verses when I was a first year medical student. I was feeling overwhelmed and very sorry for myself. Isaiah’s words put things back in perspective.

O Jacob, how can you say the LORD does not see your troubles?

O Israel, how can you say God ignores your rights?

Have you never heard? Have you never understood?

The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth.

He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding.

He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless.

Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion.

But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength.

They will soar high on wings like eagles.

They will run and not grow weary.

They will walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:27-31

My translation

This is how I hear God speaking to me through these words:

“Really, Lydia? Really?? You think I don’t know what is going on here? Newsflash: I am the God of the universe. Of course I see what is happening. I GET IT. So keep trusting Me. I will give you the power to move through your painful circumstances, and to rise above them.”

Southern Redneck Translation (SRT)

Or in southern redneck terms Isaiah is saying here:

“Quit yer bellyachin’. God’s got yer back. Hold yer hosses, and hang on to yer britches. Watch and learn, Son. Watch and learn.” Isaiah 40:27-31 SRT

So what’s a person to do?

Do you really want things done right? Really? Then for heaven’s sake, don’t take matters into your own hands. You have no idea what is really going on, or how to fix things properly. Believe me, you are liable to make matters worse instead of better. If you really want things done right, trust God, and keep on trusting him. He will give you the strength to walk through your difficulties, and to learn to rise above them.

If You Want Something Done Right… (DIY?? Series Part 1)

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by Lydia Floren

We have all heard the saying, “If you want something done right, you better do it yourself.” But is that really true? Are you really the best person to fix every problem?

Think about it. If your car is mechanically failing, are you going to watch a You-Tube video and pull out your wrench and start taking the engine apart? If you have appendicitis, are you going to check Wikipedia, climb up on the kitchen table, get the butcher knife out, and whack away? I don’t think so. You, like me, are going to find the best expert available, and trust them to take care of things.

So, why are we so quick to take things into our own hands, when it comes to matters of faith?

Sure, we will trust a surgeon to take out our appendix and handle any post-op complications. And, we will wait patiently for the best mechanic to fix our car properly.

But in difficult situations, especially those that don’t resolve promptly, we are quick to lose faith in God, who happens to be the best disaster-management expert in the universe.

Here’s an all-too-frequent scenario from my life:

1. I feel pain. This may be a physical pain, but often it is an emotional one, such as an unpleasant interaction that leaves me feeling wronged or slighted. I’m not talking about the momentary unpleasantness that happens, say, when someone cuts me off in traffic. I’m talking about an ongoing dilemma, like a difficult relationship or an uncomfortable work situation, or a chronic health issue.

2. I get restless. If the uncomfortable situation doesn’t resolve quickly (which for me is more than about 5 minutes) I get antsy. I don’t like pain. It needs to go away.

3. I pray….maybe. (sometimes I skip this step.) I tell God, as if He didn’t know, exactly what my situation is, and politely ask Him to take care of it. Before long (say, about 5 minutes), if nothing seems to be happening, I stomp my foot. “Why don’t you do something about this, God? Don’t you see what is happening here?” Pretty soon, I start demanding, “God, get me out of this! Make this go away! NOW!”

“…or else,” I whisper to myself, “I may just have to do it myself.”

4. I decide it’s up to me. Here’s what goes thru my head: “Somehow, God has missed the boat here. Maybe He isn’t seeing how much pain I am in. Or maybe He sees it but just doesn’t matter to Him. Fine. Whatever. I’ll just handle it myself. After all, ‘if you want something done right, you better do it yourself.’ Isn’t that in the Bible somewhere?”

5. I do my own thing. I try to eliminate the hurt (or the cause of it) myself. Here are a few ways I might do this typically by reverting to old coping mechanisms:

Avoiding. I dodge the person or situation that is causing me to feel this pain.
Complaining. I make sure that not only God, but everyone around me knows how unjustly I have been treated.
Manipulating. I try to manage or control the situation so the pain will stop, or at least lessen.
Self-indulging. I “treat myself” with something to take my mind off the pain. (Sort of an adult version of thumb-sucking.) My favorite “pacifier” is food, particularly chocolate. For others, it might be alcohol, surfing the net, working, shopping.

As you can imagine, when I take things into my own hands, they don’t turn out so well. Avoiding, complaining, manipulating and self-indulgence don’t make things better – they make them worse.

In Psalm 40:1-3, David said

I waited patiently for the LORD to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry.

He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire.

He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.

He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God.

Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the LORD.

DIY??

Are you in the middle of a difficult situation? Do you feel like God is not doing enough? Not doing anything? For heaven’s sake, don’t make my mistake and try to take things into your own hands. You will only make matters worse. Trust me, you will be sooooo much better off, if you choose to keep your focus squarely on God, waiting patiently for His strength and direction.

Just remember: God is the best disaster-management expert in the universe.

Rest assured: He will unfailingly pull you up out of your mess and put your feet back on solid ground.

Shoes At My Door

by Lydia Floren

When we first moved to Wisconsin, I was surprised to find that, when people came to visit, they always left their shoes at my door. I soon learned that Wisconsinites shed their shoes, just like they do their coats, when they enter someone’s home. Children learn to do this almost before they begin to walk. In fact, around here, taking your shoes off when you cross a threshold ranks right up there with the “yes ma’am’s” and “no ma’am’s” of the South: good when you do it, really rude when you don’t.

At first this shoe-at-the-door thing didn’t make much sense. But that was because we moved up here in July. By December, the reason became obvious: snow. Well, not just snow – the sand and slush and salt and mud that accompany the winter months. Taking shoes off keeps everyone’s houses from being dirtied by the outside mess. This is such an ingrained habit in our Northwoods culture that, even when the weather is nice and the streets are clear, everyone still sheds their footwear when they come inside.

We each have some mud on our lives, especially this time of year.

Extra commitments, financial concerns, worry about family, renewed grief, loneliness. Some of the stuff is obvious while other parts – like the stirrings of old hurts – stay hidden beneath the surface.

As we step into each other’s lives, wouldn’t it be cool if we would remember to first take off our “muddy shoes”? That might mean setting aside happenings from earlier in the day: a difficult circumstance, or unpleasant encounter, or hurry or stress. Maybe it means withholding judgment, extending grace, forgiving, getting out of our own perspective and choosing to enter theirs.

This holiday season we are going to have many distractions.

And we are going to step into a lot of lives.

May we remember to set aside our stress and tread gently, giving others (and ourselves) extra grace.

BTW, wouldn’t it be wonderful if this “extra grace-giving” became a habit we practiced all year long?

But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness. Psalm 86:15

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

Love is patient, love is kind. 1 Corinthians 13:4