Tag Archives: Hope and Encouragement

Beginning With The End In Mind: Goal Series- Part 2

We have three sons, who all played sports at various stages while growing up, and we quickly learned that youth sports were not only competitive for children, but even more so for parents. When our son made a great play, we would get more high fives from other parents in the stands than our kids would from their teammates. When there was a victory, there was as much or more cheering on the sidelines as there was on the field. (Of course at the early stages, the main reason the players were cheering at the end of the game is because it was time for treats! Aaaah! Those were the days!)

So how does a parent cope with the temptation to be drawn into this ultra-competitive environment? And how does one then teach their child to keep things in perspective? Well, I could write a whole book on this (I made many mistakes) but a couple questions really helped me keep my feet on the ground through the whole kids-in-sports thing:

“Is my child likely to be in a professional athlete?”
“Does he have that drive, that desire, and that amount of natural talent?
“Is that the way I see God leading him?”

I asked myself these question repeatedly over the years, and my answer was invariably “no.” (Sorry, guys.) If most kids aren’t destined for ESPN highlights, the next question is obvious:

“Why should kids even participate in organized sports?”

What was the goal, the aim of that activity?
If it wasn’t to get him a scholarship to a Division I school on the way to a pro contract deal with commercials, what was and is the point?

Unfortunately for many of us parents, the answer might be more about us than about them. Be honest, sideliners. At some point or some level we have all enjoyed basking in the glow of our kids’ successes, not because of what it says about them, but what it says about us: “you must be a good parent because your kid is a great sportsman.” (How warped is that?)

There are many good reasons for enrolling your kids in organized sports that have nothing to do with grooming them for a professional career. (Years later I continue to see, long after their playing days were over, the great things my sons still carry with them from their playing days.) Here are a few great reasons to have a child in organized sports: physical fitness, learning how to be a team member, being a part of a group, learning discipline, hard work, excellence, selflessness, honesty, restraint, self-esteem, working with good and bad coaches [translate bosses].

Organized sports teach kids how to lose, to win, to encourage, to stay positive, to be consistent, to do the job you have been assigned, to lead, to follow. I could go on. None of these things in any way requires that your child be a standout performer on the fast-track to the pros. In fact, having that star distinction can hamper him/her from gleaning many of these benefits.

What is success?
I am getting to a point here. What is success? Making a bunch of money and having a body that doesn’t work well for the last half of your life? Risking life-altering injury for a few moments of glory? Spending all your college days on the field or in the pool instead of exploring your many other interests and abilities?

How does God view success? What would he consider a worthy aim in life? Jesus was quite clear on this point:

“Love the Lord your god with all your heart, mind, soul and strength. And love your neighbor as yourself.”

Or as Paul put it in 1 Corinthians 14:1:

“Make love your aim.”

Now that is a goal worth aiming for.

Share with us: How do you decide and review goals? We would love to hear from you.

Recent posts: Taking Aim: Goal Series – Part I, A Note In Your Lunchbox, To Be, To-Do To Be

To-Do, To Be

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by Lydia Floren

I am a big list person, always have been. I have little scraps of “to-do’s” on sticky notes stuck around the kitchen, my office, in my purse, the car…I have learned a thing or two about myself in my years of list making.

One thing, I have learned, is that for me, the act of writing something down on a list helps me remember it, even if I never look at it again.
Another thing, I have discovered about myself, is that I am not a very good judge of time. (I know that shocks those of you that know me.) I tend to cram my to-do list with more tasks than I can reasonably accomplish, which means I am more likely to be frustrated and hurried as the day goes on.
A third thing, I have learned about myself, is that if I really want to remember to do stuff, I have to put the list somewhere obvious. My favorite location is the refrigerator, since I seem to love to go open the door every hour or so when I am home. (Why do I do that BTW? Do I think a magic fairy is going to deposit delicious calorie free food in there when I’m not looking?] If it is really, really, important that I remember something: I write a reminder on my hand. I learned from my kids.

I have also learned a few great habits in list making:

Have 3 to-do lists.
- General overall list, so you don’t forget stuff. This might have sub-categories like shopping, online, work, home, meal prep, etc., it could be written, or on your computer or phone.
- Weekly to-do list.
- Daily to-do list.
Schedule tasks from your to-do lists’ into your calendar. Once a week, look at your calendar, and your overall tasks, and jot down things that must be accomplished in the coming week. As much as possible, set aside time in the week to accomplish these tasks, and actually write them in your calendar.
Limit your daily TO-DO list to 5 or 6 items. This little habit has a great impact. It forces you to narrow down what is most important to accomplish in your day, and reigns in the temptation to expect yourself to do more than can reasonably be accomplished. And that reduces stress, worry, hurry, and frustration, and increases a sense of accomplishment.

My daily to-do list always begins with this:

1. Be Restored

Be Restored: It is kind of ironic that my daily TO-DO list begins with something TO BE. As I choose to be quiet, to be available, to meditate on God’s word, and be attuned to what He is saying to me, I am connecting my heart and spirit with the one Person in the universe who knows me completely and loves me more than I can imagine. In this process, He restores my mind, emotions, spirit, and even my body. He forgives, He gives perspective, He reminds me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and that He is taking care of me. He encourages me to release the past, move forward, and to enjoy the day.

No, I haven’t (and likely won’t) give up my TO-DO lists, but I have learned this: the most important thing, I can DO in my day, is TO BE restored. I can really tell if I miss it.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul. Psalm 23:1-3

Read my meditation on Psalm 23:1-3 or check out the Belovedlove Psalm 23 Bracelet.

Share with us: What tips do you have for list making? How do you keep things in perspective?

The Blessings of Giving Thanks

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by Lydia Floren

What one habit has most transformed your life? For me the answer would be the practice of thanks-giving.. Here are a few of the blessings of giving thanks that I have experienced:

Attitude. I see even a little blessing in life as a bonus, not a right, when I appreciate that my life—and everything in it—is a gift from God.

Contentment. I am free to enjoy each day–even if things are difficult–when I give thanks that God is working all things to good.

Trust. It is easier to trust God’s direction, especially when the future seems uncertain, as I give thanks for God’s love and goodness.

Fearless following. I can boldly follow God’s lead–the best i know it–as I give thanks for God’s commitment to safely guide me. I know that He will make any mid-course corrections if I misunderstand or just wander away for awhile.

Self-concept. I am at peace with who I am when I give thanks for my life–the unique blend of attributes that makes me “me”. It settles me. I have nothing to prove. I am valuable, and valued by the most amazing being in the universe, the person that made me.

Encouragement. I am en-couraged—given courage to be myself, when I appreciate my identity and value. And I can then en-courage others.

Hope. I have hope to see beyond a hardship when I am giving thanks in the middle of it. I can also more readily see benefits of those challenging situations.

Perspective. Giving thanks for eternity reframes my perspective, and reminds me what is really important.

Focus. Giving thanks for others takes my focus off myself.

Tolerance. When I give thanks for the unique gifts of others, I more inclined to celebrate differences, instead of being annoyed by them. I can appreciate that each person’s individuality makes life rich, just like one spice combined with another creates a wonderful flavor.

Freedom. Giving thanks for Christ’s sacrifice allows me to leave the past behind, and to quit beating myself for being “imperfect.” God completes me. In Him I am perfect.

Calling. There is nothing like the deep soul-satisfying joy of God working through me to love another person in my own unique way. Giving thanks to God for calling me to be loved, and then to love–Him, myself, and those I encounter–brings me joy.

Presence of God. Giving thanks in all things brings me into the very presence of God.

The practice of giving thanks in all things has changed–and continues to change–my life.

How has giving thanks blessed you? We’d love to hear from you!

It’s Not About You, Or Is It?

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by Lydia Floren

It’s Not About You. Or Is It?

It’s not about you. I have never understood that statement. Think about it. You are the only one living your life. You make your own choices. You experience life with your unique thought processes and personality. In reality, your life is–well–yours.

But it’s not JUST about you.

So what do people mean when they say “it’s not about you”? I think they really mean that your life is not just about you. It is about more than you. Here’s what I mean: You are not the only person in the universe. For example–and this is the most important by far, this universe is inhabited by God, your maker. In fact, you–your life– is a creative expression of God. You are His masterpiece. In addition, there are other people like you inhabiting this world, people with life, wants, and needs just like you. And, for good or ill, your choices impact your connection with your creator, and influence other people in your little corner of the world.

Here’s the problem: if you have not learned to accept and appreciate yourself, YOU are all you can think about. You focus on trying to get your needs met. Conversely, when you are at peace with yourself, you have the capacity to focus outward instead of inward, blessing others instead of expecting from them.

Everyone is needy–everyone has needs. In order to move beyond yourself, you have to

1. Face your needs and then 2. Choose to look first to God—not other people—to meet those needs.

Our Needs:

We all recognize our needs for food, clothing, and shelter, but we often ignore important needs that go beyond the physical. Only when we acknowledge these needs, and they are truly met, can we move past ourselves. For example, we all need

Identity–a sense of who we are as a person, an understanding and appreciation of ourselves as a unique individual
Value–a belief–and solid reason for the belief–that we are valuable
Belonging–a place in the world where we feel safe, and at home–where everyone knows our name.
Calling/direction–a sense of purpose, and genuine hope that we can fulfill that purpose.
Safety–the deep knowing that you are protected: that nothing and no one can destroy you.

We try hard, mostly in subconscious ways, to meet these very essential needs, but come up empty most of the time–and for good reason: it is impossible. There is no way that we–or any other person on the planet–can meet these needs. That doesn’t keep us from trying. Many promising relationships wither under the heat of our unrealistic expectations: that someone else can, and should, meet our most basic needs.

God is the only person that can satisfy our hunger for identity, value, belonging, calling, and safety. Quite frankly, God not only CAN fill this void in our lives, He has already given us the means to do so. But He always gives us the choice of whether or not to accept His provision. How do we recognize God’s provision, and accept it? A good place to start is to invite Him into your life, and cultivate the habit of giving thanks in all things.

Give thanks to God for:

Your identity: the combination of personality, temperament, history, giftedness, passions, and connections that makes you totally unique in the world.
Your value: as His precious child, someone He paid a very high price to adopt into His family. You are cherished and loved by the most amazing being in the universe. The Person that knows you best loves you most.
Your belonging: as a member His family, And your belonging in this moment in time, and in this place in the universe: You are not here by accident. You belong where you are.
Your calling/direction: to love God, yourself and others in your own unique way as you live your life.
Your safety: nothing/no one can touch or change your identity, value, belonging and calling IN ANY WAY. These are safe, and protected by God. As God’s child, your existence is safe for eternity.

Be thankful for you, the person you are and are becoming.

Be thankful for God, who fills your deepest needs abundantly, beyond all that you can ask or imagine.

And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

A Note in Your Lunchbox: Giving Thanks in All Things

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By Lydia Floren

For years I packed lunches for my husband and kids. Because food is NOT my thing, I tried lots of different ways to streamline this, including making 20+ PB&J sandwiches at a time, and freezing them for the week. That way, all I had to do in the morning rush, was grab one from the freezer and throw it in a box with a few other prepared items. Most days, I tucked a card in each lunch with a Bible verse written on it – a little spiritual refreshment for midday, to go along with the physical nourishment.

Typically, I wrote out these verse cards in the early morning, when the house was still quiet. As I prayed and meditated, preparing for the day, I would ask God to focus me on one particular verse to share, and if there was anything additional He was leading me to share. Then I would pull out my stack of blank cards and start writing. Five cards each day. Twenty-five handwritten cards per week.

Did those verse cards have an impact on my family? Yes, I know they did for 2 reasons: -The kids have told me so. (They still have some of those cards.) -God’s word is powerful. It always has an impact.

Sure, there were some days those notes didn’t get read. But other days, they were read over and over again, and even shared with friends at the lunch table. Samuel says he used to pass them around, so everyone could take a shot at deciphering my handwriting. (Who knew that my doctor-handwriting would have a positive benefit?)

The Power of Habit

Those cards impacted my family, but what I didn’t realize until years later, was how much they influenced me. The practice of writing out 25 verse cards a week enabled God’s truths to penetrate deep into my heart. They pop into my head at unexpected – and timely – moments, blessing me with their God-inspired wisdom.

The Habit of Giving Thanks in All Things

I think there are lots of habits – repetitive choices – that bless our lives, and then keep on blessing us. They start with small decisions in a moment or day, but their cumulative effect is powerful. There are several other such habits that have blessed me like this over the years, but one rises to the top: giving thanks in all things.

Thanksgiving Restores My Joy.

Choosing – repeatedly – to give thanks in all things, changes my perspective. It shifts my focus, from my problems and weakness, to His sufficiency and grace. Thanksgiving also changes my attitude. It refreshes my hope in the future, and strengthens my faith in God’s goodness. Most important, thanksgiving restores my joy. In the practice of thanksgiving, I remember that God is at work, and He does love me and everyone else in the world.

Things to give thanks for:

The last 24 hrs. People and events. God works all things to good.
God, my loving Father
- His love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
- His working in my life and in this world, even when I don’t see it.
- His commitment to me personally, to always be with me – within me, to restore my soul every day, to lead me in the way I need to go.
Myself
- The gift of life, and of this day.
- My unique identity, value, belonging, and calling.
- My limitations, and God’s limitlessness.
Others
- Those I know (especially those that are dear to me), and those I don’t know
- Those I will cross paths with
My concerns
- That God knows my concerns before I do, and he will take care of them, and lead me in the next step.
- Perspective: Problems are just opportunities for God’s work to shine.
The next 24 hrs.
- The people and circumstances I will encounter in this day.
- God’s faithfulness to lead me in the way I need to go.
- God will work all things to good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

Giving thanks in all things,the habit of thanksgiving, is like writing a note for your lunchbox: a message of hope that seeps into your heart and soul bringing refreshment when you least expect it, and may most need it.

Please share with us: what are you thankful for?

True Peace is the Absence of Fear

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My peace I give to you…

The peace of God is unlike any other that we see on earth. It is not an uneasy truce, or an acquiescence to domination. It is the abiding understanding that our identity, our value, our belonging, and our calling are safe. No person or spiritual force can change this in any way. We can come to God in tears, feeling worthless, or abandoned, or like failures. He reminds us that we are precious. We are His, and we are one of His chosen vehicles for loving the world. We can go into our days with confidence and light hearts. And, we are safe. We are not alone. The God of Peace is with us, within us, and He loves us.

True peace is the absence of fear, and the Presence of God.

He restores my soul. Psalm 23:3

Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them. Psalm 126:6

Perfect love casts out fear. 1 John 4:18

Satisfy us in the morning with Your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. Psalm 90:14

Pushing the RESET button–Donuts and Do-Overs

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One of my happiest childhood memories started out poorly. I was 6 years old on Saturday morning. My two siblings and I were already squabbling. After several minutes of screaming (and crabby parents) my mom made a dramatic announcement:

“Y’all listen up. We are all going to start our day over. Everyone go back to bed and stay there. In a few minutes I will let you know when it’s time to get up.”

Our arguments gave way to giggles as we climbed back beneath the sheets, curious at this unexpected turn of events. Sure enough, after a little while she called down the hall “Time to get up! breakfast!” We jumped out of bed, and bounded into the kitchen to discover my dad had snuck out and gotten donuts — a rare treat in our house back then.

It turned out to be a great day.

Many years later I still remember the rush of excitement, the dramatic shift of mood that morning — the power of choosing to starting over.

The power of starting over—a picture of God’s grace.

Every day God invites us to a “do-over,” to get our day going with the joy of a fresh start. He doesn’t want us to rehash old problems and issues. He wants us to let them go, just as He has let them go for us.

We never have to be stuck in our old habits of condemnation, defeat, worry, addiction, unforgiveness, perfectionism, or people-pleasing. God does not want us to be. That is why He came: to set us free.

I have to admit, it is hard for me, a recovering perfectionist, to push the RESET button of God’s grace every day. I want to get it right. Do it myself. Without Him. I have to remind myself that “getting it right” can only happen WITH Him — if I get it right in His timing, His power, with His presence. Receiving His grace, starting fresh, requires that I acknowledge to myself and to God that I need Him. Every day. Throughout the day.

God’s Grace is the RESET button that releases us from condemnation and frees us to truly live in joy.

As this new year begins, resolve to push the RESET button early and often.

Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death. Romans 8:1-2 NASB

This is the day that the lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:34 ESV

“Do not call to mind the former things, Or ponder things of the past.
“Behold, I will do something new, Now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it?
I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, Rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:18-20 NASB

We would love to hear from you:
• Do you have a “do-over” story?

• What helps you remember to push the reset button?

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My reminder to push the reset button!