Category Archives: Finding Yourself

Your identity comes from the Lord. Your value comes from the Lord. The thoughts in these posts can help you find yourself where you belong – in the Lord.

Good people

Aunt Sis by Lydia Floren

Andrew and I went to visit my Aunt Sis this week.  She is 92 years old. She still has an impish grin and twinkle in her eye, though her health and mental faculties have declined a bit. She calls me “darlin’” though she doesn’t remember exactly who I am.  That doesn’t matter, because I definitely remember who she is.  My Aunt Sis is an incredible human being.

A human exclamation point

My cousin Sam, her youngest son, fondly calls her a “human exclamation point.“  In her healthier days, she was full of vigor, a true southern lady.  She was one of those folks who never met a stranger.  She always remembered everyone’s name, and what was going on in their life and their family, and even how they like their iced tea: sweet or unsweet.  She could make any awkward newcomer feel like a part of things within five minutes of entering her house.  In fact when she greeted anyone at the door, friend or stranger, she would throw open her arms and say “come on in this house!”

Aunt Sis was a gracious hostess. 

Aunt Sis was a gracious hostess.  She welcomed stray family members like me:  many a weekend in college I came “home” to her house, “my” bedroom all ready for me (my folks lived too far away for weekend visits).  One year I even spent the whole summer there  when my job kept me in Georgia.  Several foreign exchange students also enjoyed Aunt Sis and Uncle Jake’s  hospitality over the years. Those students didn’t realize until later that part of that hospitality included a lifetime “adoption” into the Hodges clan.

Aunt Sis was the ultimate entertainer. When our family visited in the summers, she would stock the freezer with ice cream treats and the walk-in with cases of bottled cokes.  And boy could she throw a party.  It might be a paper plate barbecue down at the carriage house, or Christmas dinner for the extended family complete with linens, silver and china.    She was every bit as comfortable hosting a coffee for the Sunday school ladies as she was serving a steak dinner to the Georgia Tech basketball team.

It’s about people

It was never about “show” with Aunt Sis.  It was always about people.  People weren’t merely a part of Aunt Sis’s life. People were – and are – her life.  The highest compliment Aunt Sis could say about someone was to say that they were “good people.” Many times after she introduced someone to me,  she would put her hand on their arm, turn to me,  look me straight in the eye and say

“Now Lydia, Darlin’, these folks are ‘good people.’”

I would nod and smile. She didn’t elaborate. She didn’t have to. I knew exactly what she meant.

Good people

“Good people” were Godly people.  “Good people” were honest, kind and gracious.  They were people of integrity, generous, and compassionate.  They cared deeply about others, and did a lot for others no one ever knew about.  In short, “good people” were like Aunt Sis.

God is good people. 

God is good.  God is “good people.”  He has a good heart. He is honest and integritable, welcoming and warm.  He has common sense and practical advice, and a strong sense of right and wrong.  He is generous and wise and loving.  He does what’s right, even if he is misunderstood for it.  God cares deeply about others–more than people realize—and is always working in this world to take care of those He loves.

What’s great about good people

You know what’s great about “good people”? The more you’re around them the more they rub off on you. Aunt Sis may be nearing the end of her life on this earth, but she hasn’t quit rubbing off on me.  Her habits– “good people” skills – echo through my life, encouraging me to

  • Give joyfully
  • Entertain graciously
  • Brag about others enthusiastically
  • Hug wholeheartedly

And of course, lovingly bestow terms of endearment –“precious”  “dear one”  “sweetie” “ baby doll” and her favorite (and mine)– “darlin’”

The fruit of the Spirit call goodness is really just God’s goodness in us.

The fruit of the Spirit call goodness is really just God’s goodness in us. It’s there. We just choose whether we’re going to let it out or not.

In  her life, Aunt Sis chose to let God’s goodness to shine through her, loving people in her own special way.   In so doing, she unknowingly encouraged the rest of us to love others a little more, and love them a little better.

Aunt Sis is “good people”.  No matter where she is– on earth or in heaven–she will always encourage me to be “good people” too.

Oh, by the way, darlin’, how do you like your tea–sweet or unsweet?

We would love to hear from you!  How DO you like your tea?

A Note in Your Lunchbox: Giving Thanks in All Things

note in lunchbox smaller

By Lydia Floren

For years I packed lunches for my husband and kids. Because food is NOT my thing, I tried lots of different ways to streamline this, including making 20+ PB&J sandwiches at a time, and freezing them for the week.  That way, all I had to do in the morning rush, was grab one from the freezer and throw it in a box with a few other prepared items.  Most days, I tucked a card in each lunch with  a Bible verse written on it – a little spiritual refreshment for midday, to go along with the physical nourishment.

Typically, I wrote out these verse cards in the early morning, when the house was still quiet.  As I prayed and meditated, preparing for the day, I would ask God to focus me on one particular verse to share, and if there was anything additional He was leading me to share.  Then I would pull out my stack of blank cards and start writing.  Five cards each day.  Twenty-five handwritten cards per week.

Did those verse cards have an impact on my family? Yes, I know they did for 2 reasons:                 -The kids have told me so. (They still have some of those cards.)                                                        -God’s word is powerful. It always has an impact.

Sure, there were some days those notes didn’t get read.  But other days, they were read over and over again, and even shared with friends at the lunch table. Samuel says he used to pass them around, so everyone  could take a shot at deciphering my handwriting.  (Who knew that my doctor-handwriting would have a positive benefit?)

The Power of Habit

Those cards impacted my family, but what I didn’t realize until years later, was how much they influenced me.  The practice of writing out 25 verse cards a week enabled God’s truths to penetrate deep into my heart. They pop into my head at unexpected – and timely – moments,  blessing me with their God-inspired wisdom.

The Habit of Giving Thanks in All Things

I think there are lots of habits – repetitive choices – that bless our lives, and then keep on blessing us.  They start with small decisions in a moment or day, but their cumulative effect is powerful.  There are several other such habits that have blessed me like this over the years, but one rises to the top:  giving thanks in all things.

Thanksgiving Restores My Joy.

Choosing – repeatedly – to give thanks in all things, changes my perspective.  It shifts my focus, from my problems and weakness, to His sufficiency and grace.  Thanksgiving also changes my attitude. It refreshes my hope in the future, and strengthens my faith in God’s goodness.  Most important, thanksgiving restores my joy. In the practice of thanksgiving, I remember that God is at work, and He does love me and everyone else in the world.

Things to give thanks for:

  • The last 24 hrs. People and events. God works all things to good.
  • God, my loving Father
    • His love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
    • His working in my life and in this world, even when I don’t see it.
    • His commitment to me personally, to always be with me – within me, to restore my soul every day, to lead me in the way I need to go.
  • Myself
    • The gift of life, and of this day.
    • My unique identity, value, belonging, and calling.
    • My limitations, and God’s limitlessness.
  • Others
    • Those I know (especially those that are dear to me), and those I don’t know
    • Those I will cross paths with
  • My concerns
    • That God knows my concerns before I do, and he will take care of them, and lead me in the next step.
    • Perspective:  Problems are just opportunities for God’s work to shine.
  • The next 24 hrs.
    • The people and circumstances I will encounter in this day.
    • God’s faithfulness to lead me in the way I need to go.
    • God will work all things to good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

Giving thanks in all things,the habit of thanksgiving, is like writing a note for your lunchbox:  a message of hope that seeps into your heart and soul bringing refreshment when you least expect it, and may most need it. 

 Please share with us:  what are you thankful for?

What Makes You Valuable?

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By Lydia Floren

When I meet someone new, I do my best to avoid the fact that I am a physician. (Outside of work, of course. Hard to avoid that fact with a white coat and stethoscope!)  I am not ashamed of my profession – far from it – but sometimes, that “MD” can really be a barrier when I am getting to know someone. For example, I can meet a person for the first time, we will be having a wonderful conversation, discovering mutual interests and telling funny stories, but that all changes if, somehow, it gets out that I am a doctor. It’s like a bomb goes off.  My new friend will get this look on her face, and then maybe say, “Oh. You’re a doctor?” I’ll nod. “A medical doctor?”  I’ll nod again. Silence. Then the questions: “Where do you practice?  What kind of doctor are you? How long have you been doing this?”,  and so on.   In the space of a few moments, I have stopped being a person. I have become a stereotype.

We  all identify one other by our roles, and may value each other based on achievement. But what makes you valuable? Secretly, at our core we each long to be understood and appreciated for who we are, not what we do,or who we know, or how much we possess.

This is exactly the way God values us. We don’t have to posture or pretend. He already knows the “real” us – our essence, our core identity.   He values us – loves us – not because of our performance, but simply because we are. What a relief!  We can finally come in from the cold of competition, and warm our hearts with His loving acceptance. His presence within us enables us to be fully alive, fully ourselves.  And full of joy.

 In Your presence is fullness of Joy. Psalm 16:11 

I have come that you might have life, and have it more abundantly.  John 10:10

 Man looks at the outward things, but God looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

 I am fearfully and wonderfully made and my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139:14

How about you? Do you feel sometimes that your value is based on your achievements or title? Or, the things our culture tells us are valuable? Leave a comment below.

Rest for My Soul

heavy load

Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden

We fail.

We mess up.  We make bad decisions, and many times the heavy load we carry is the result of those choices.  When we recognize this, we pile on self-condemnation—guilt and shame.  Not God, our Loving Father.  He opens His arms wide, and says:

Child come here.  Put down that heavy load, and climb up in My lap and tell Me all about it.  Receive the grace, the forgiveness I so want to give you, and let me release you from your worry.  Quit accepting shame, and embrace the freedom-joy of My love once again.  Just leave it to Me.  I will help you know what to do as you move forward from here.

Take my yoke upon you and learn of me

I will not only show you what to do now, but I will help you learn from this.  I can teach you to be free of your compulsions, to see more of the world from My perspective, so you don’t make this same mistake twice.  If you choose, My Holy Spirit will do this deep healing in your spirit. 

For my load is easy and my burden is light and you shall find rest for your souls

It is so much easier–and more enjoyable–to follow Me when you aren’t carrying unnecessary burdens.  The load I give you is quite simple: stay connected with Me.  Don’t let anything get in the way of this connection, especially not your mistakes. Don’t let anything keep you from embracing the identity, value, belonging and calling I have given you.

When you stay connected with Me, you will be able to hear my voice and follow where I am leading you to go.

I will show you the next step from here.

Do not anxiously look about you for I am your GodReaching forward to what lies ahead I press on to the upward call of God in Christ JesusCast all your cares upon Him for He cares for you

What helps you stay connected to God, even in the midst of failure?

come to me all who are weary and heavy laden

By Lydia Floren

Image by woodleywonderworks

Kindness Is…

kindness photo

Kindness is saying no to what you could do so that you can say yes to what you’re called to do.

Kindness is allowing other people the space they need to grow.

Kindness is taking the time to learn someone’s name.

Kindness is remembering someone’s name.

Kindness is caring for yourself so that you can care for others.

Kindness is giving people the benefit of the doubt.

Kindness is choosing to think the best of someone.

Kindness is having a positive attitude.

Kindness is compassionate action.

Kindness is keeping a secret.

Kindness is not complaining. At all.

Kindness is refusing to guilt someone into doing what you want them to do.

Kindness is taking responsibility for your own life instead of blaming your problems on someone else.

Kindness is refusing to make excuses.

Kindness is tickling someone’s funnybone.

Kindness is laughing with folks but never laughing at them.

Kindness is choosing to have a thankful heart.

Kindness is refraining from giving advice.

What does kindness mean to you?? Let us know in the comments!

Kindness Is... from Belovedlove

by Lydia Floren

Photo by Feed My Starving Children (FMSC)

Wind Chimes

the beauty of God moves through us

My husband Andrew is not materialistic. In fact, for special occasions it is almost impossible find him a gift that he actually wants, and would enjoy.  For Andrew, wind chimes is one of those gifts. Over the years, Andrew has collected a set of perfectly harmonized wind chimes in a range of octaves, each carefully hung with the others on our screened porch out back.

In summer, when we practically live outside, those wind chimes give us special pleasure.  Some days the chimes only ring an occasional note or two as a breeze wafts through.  On windier days they produce a progressing cacophony of sound.  First the trees will rustle as the air pushes through them; then the chimes will joyfully clang an answer, sometimes even echoing down the hill with the neighbors’ bells. The sounds ebb and flow, almost like the crashing of waves, but with clear crisp tones—bold, and then quiet. Even though there is no distinct melody or set rhythm, the wind stirs them to make beautiful music.

We are each created to chime–to resonate the reality of God’s presence and love to those around us.  When we position ourselves toward the wind, the beauty of God moves through each of us like the wind on a summer day. And as God liberates us from the shackles of our shoulds and oughts, we are free to clang away with joyful abandon, almost like a 2 year old banging on pots and pans.

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And God blends the ebb and flow of our clanging into a lovely harmony.

And then He smiles.

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Now it’s your turn:  When have you seen God moving through you or someone else to bless another person?

windchimes-lgBy Lydia Floren

 

Facing My Failures, Embracing God’s Grace

God's love reaches into me warming me like hot tea - peace - he restores my soulIt’s hard to see my own shortcomings.  I don’t want to look at my ugly wounds.  But, if I desire to heal – to be restored – I must first face these flaws.  Then, I must be still and allow the Great Physician to free me from the habits-rooted-in-lies that keep me doing the same destructive things over and over.  Sometimes God’s knife must go deep – it can’t be helped – to get to the root of the lie.  The results are definitely worth it:  true healing, and with it, profound joy.

Father, forgive me for my haughtiness, my rudeness, my feeling of superiority, of trying to jockey for position, or importance.  Help me to be an instrument of your peace, not of my own pride. Thank you for restoring my soul.

The deeper my soul reaches toward Truth, the more deeply God’s love reaches into me, warming me, like a cup of hot tea on a cool morning.  In the safety of His embrace, I can celebrate my God-given identity, value, belonging and calling independent of others’ fluctuating opinions, or influence.

Each time I manage to turn around and face my failures, the brilliance of God’s grace takes me by surprise

Why do I forget this?   How can I learn to remember?Hebrews 4:16 let us approach God's throne of grace with confidence

2 corinthians 2:19 my grace is sufficient for you

Psalm 23:3 he restores my soul

Do you ever find yourself running from yourself?    What prompts you to remember the brilliance of God’s grace?

We would love to hear from you!

God's grace is brilliant - joy - God's love

Enjoy the Music, and Give Thanks

giving thanks for what God has done through us

Love is spontaneous, but it is not random.

God sees an opportunity:  one heart open and willing to give, another heart ready to receive.  His Spirit prompts, and we respond. He uses us “in the moment”, to love and encourage someone who crosses our path.  And we both are blessed.  Occasionally, often after the fact, He will show us what He has been about.  And then our joy multiplies.

In those moments, we must remember to give thanks.  The practice of thanksgiving acknowledges God at work through us, and keeps us from seeing His work as something we can take credit for.  It reminds us that our identity, value, belonging and calling come from Him alone, not from what we do.  We are following our Shepherd in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.  Thanksgiving assures the continued flow of God’s love through us, toward those around us.

give thanks for what God is doing and has done through us

Enjoy God working through you, but make sure you are directing attention and praise – yours and others’ – to Him for what He is doing, not to yourself.  You are an instrument, not the musician – a violin, not the maestro.  You do not create or play the music.  It moves through you.

If you become comfortable receiving accolades, you will start to think that you don’t need the Maestro.  You might think you can sit and play a ditty, and expect people’s hearts will be touched and changed.  They won’t.

I am the instrument, God is the maestro

Beware of giving yourself pats on the back for God’s work though you. Then, pride multiplies. And a sense of self-sufficiency, and the false belief that you can love, as God calls you to, on your own.   Nothing kills the movement of the Spirit in our lives quicker than this kind of attitude.

We must always be careful to give thanks for what God is doing, and has done, through us.

Enjoy the moment. Enjoy the music, and the part you get to play in sharing it with the world.

And, always, always remember to give thanks.

give thanks for what God is doing and has done through us give thanks for what God is doing and has done through us give thanks for what God is doing and has done through us give thanks for what God is doing and has done through us

True Peace is the Absence of Fear

My peace I give to you…

The peace of God is unlike any other that we see on earth.  It is not an uneasy truce, or an acquiescence to domination.  It is the abiding understanding that our identity, our value, our belonging, and our calling are safe.  No person or spiritual force can change this in any way.  We can come to God in tears, feeling worthless, or abandoned, or like failures.  He reminds us that we are precious. We are His, and we are one of His chosen vehicles for loving the world.  We can go into our days with confidence and light hearts. And, we are safe.  We are not alone.  The God of Peace is with us, within us, and He loves us.

True peace is the absence of fear, and the Presence of God.

peace is the absence of fear

He restores my soul.  Psalm 23:3

Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them.  Psalm 126:6

Perfect love casts out fear. 1 John 4:18

Satisfy us in the morning with Your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.  Psalm 90:14

God’s Supreme Attribute

by Lydia Floren

I love this quote by Billy Graham, so appropriate in the Easter Season,from his book The Journey.  He gave the ultimate gift – His life – so that we would be able to connect with Him intimately, daily, His presence continually with and within us.  Nothing can demonstrate His love and deep desire for all of us more than for us to spend an unending future with Him in the bliss-filled place called Heaven:

“The more I read the Bible, the more I realize that love is God’s supreme attribute.  Behind every dealing God has with us is His perfect love.  It was love that made Him create us, and it was love that caused Him to send His Son to redeem us.  His love pursues us and draws us to Himself, and His love will someday take us into His presence forever. ‘This is love:  not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sin…s’ (1 John 4:10).  His love is not a passing fancy or a superficial emotion;  it is a profound and unshakable commitment that seeks what is best for us.  Human love may change or fade; God’s love never will.  He says to us, ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.’ (Jeremiah 31:3).”

-Billy Graham (The Journey, p.22)

There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. (John 15:13 NLT)

For more thoughts/observations about God’s great love, visit Belovedlove.org.

God's love is a profound and unshakable commitment that seeks what is best for us. Billy Graham