Author Archives: Lydia Floren

I Love You

I Love You, by Lydia Floren

“I love you.” God says these three words to us over and over again, every single day. He did it yesterday, and He’s doing it right now. He’ll keep on doing it, tonight and tomorrow and the day after that. But just because He is saying “I love you,” doesn’t mean we hear it, or that the meaning of those words sink in.

Our hearts have to be tuned in, to listen for that sweet message.

How God says “I love you”

God’s “I love you” might be a beautiful song, a stunning sunset, the encouraging words of a friend. He may say “I love you” through a great conversation, a belly laugh, a good night’s sleep. Or, an “aha” moment when a truth strikes home. Sometimes, He just whispers “I love you” in the stillness of our minds. And if we ask, he will help us to understand just what that means.

This is a little conversation I had with God recently:

“I love you.”

Thank you. But what do You mean when you say “I love you”? And why does it matter?

I

I am the most powerful being in the universe. I made up love. I define it. I am only good. There’s no evil in me at all. I am patient, kind, faithful, generous–and present. I created you, and everything else in this world, and beyond. I wanted you with me always, and I sacrificed greatly to make this possible. I know everything. I am the only person that will ever completely know, and unreservedly love, you. I see you now, exactly as you are.

I love you.

Love

I cherish you. I enjoy your company. I want the best for you. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. I see exactly what’s going on, and I’m guiding you. I’ve got your back. I’m providing for you. I’m healing your heart from the faulty thinking that has kept you in bondage. And, I’ve already forgiven every wrong thing you have done, and will do, to me. I adopted you. I respect you, and I am protecting you.

I love you.

You

You are my precious creation. Before you were even born, I chose all the qualities that would make you uniquely yourself. And that hole in your heart? That is an incompleteness that can only be filled by me. And I am filling that hole. You belong with me. You are wanted. You are loved. You are my beloved child.

I love you.

LOVE

YOU.

I LOVE YOU.

I love you with an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:3

4 Steps to Planning the Year

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by Lydia Floren

I am a planner. Not in the “control freak” kind of way, just in the wanting-to-be-intentional-about- life way. So, the new year is an important time for me. Toward the end of the year, I start to think about where I have been, where I am going, and how best to get there. In January, I typically set aside a day or two to review and make some specific plans for the coming year. What does that look like for me? Well, it is different every year. Some years I am more detailed, others I just sketch out a more general framework. But my planning process always seems to involve these four steps:

Four Steps to Planning the Year:

Reflect
Review
Refocus
Revise

Reflection:

What happened in the last year? Events? Relationships? Commitments? Life situations?
How have I seen God working in these things?
How have I grown? What have I learned?

Review:

What were my goals/priorities/commitments from last year?
- Life goal:
- Other goals:
- Priorities:
- Permanent commitments:
How has my time spent in the last year, aligned with my life goals, priorities, commitments?

Refocus:

Ask God, “What is Your perspective of what has happened in the last year?”
Are there any goals/priorities/commitments I need to change or moving forward?
Are there specific plans that need to be revised? Ditched? Formulated?

Revise:

What do I see as the best strategy to achieve my goals in the coming year? In two years? In 5 years?
How does that translate into how I use my time on a daily/weekly/monthly basis?
What will help me to keep my life aligned with these goals/plans?

During this process, I continue to pray and seek God’s guidance, insight, and wisdom in each of these steps. And, at the end, I just give my new plans and schedule to God, and ask Him to show me what revisions need to be made.

What is your approach to planning?

Finding Treasures

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Finding Treasures

by Lydia Floren

Last week, we talked about how we are each a treasure to God, dearly loved by Him. And how life-changing and soul-sustaining it is to be loved like that.

When we are loved like that, it moves us to action. God calls us, challenges us, to care for those around us, the same way that He cares for us. Gently. Compassionately. Graciously. Respectfully. We have no business judging. Or, condemning. Or, dismissing. Or, hurting. Or, criticizing. We have no idea what someone has been through, or may still be going through.

And that’s not our job anyway.

Our business is to treat each treasure—each unique creation of God—with the utmost care. To value them, regardless of what we see on the surface, because we know how precious they are inside. And, when we have opportunity, our job is to brush off a little dirt and show their beauty even more, to themselves as much as to us.

Take the time today to notice the person in front of you. Smile at them. Find a way to encourage them with a word, or a touch. A listening ear, a small gift. A laugh. A prayer. Each effort you make brushes away a bit of dirt, and frees a spirit/heart to shine a bit brighter.

Treasure

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Treasure

by Lydia Floren

Birthdays were (and still are) a big deal in the Floren home. When my kids were younger, I would plan special celebrations for them, and sometimes (ok, more than sometimes) I would go a little over the top. When each of our sons turned six, we had a treasure hunt. A dozen or so first graders each made a pirate’s hat, and were given a treasure map and a paper bag. Then, they hunted all over the yard for clues, filling up their bag with prizes as they went. Finally, they were led to the back yard, where a big X marked the spot in the dirt. (Not too original, but effective, especially for a 6 year old.) It was wonderful to watch them attack that dirt, and then after unearthing their very own treasure box, to carefully lift it out of the earth. It was fun to see their eyes light up when they pryed open the lid and discovered the gold coins inside. (Gold coins filled with chocolate, but hey, they were gold.)

Every person on earth—every soul—is a treasure to God. We are His beloved, worth sacrificing His son for. God loves us each with a tenderness, a gentleness, that can take our breath away. He eagerly attacks the mountain of guilt and shame Satan heaps on us, and replaces these lies with His truth: we are free from condemnation. We are whole. We are beloved. And after He gently brushes away the dirt, He delights in showing us—and the world– the bright beauty he has placed within us. The fruitful and fruit-filled life that comes from being loved.

God’s love is life changing. And soul-sustaining.

Superhuman Part 2: Finding Your Superpower

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by Lydia Floren

Last week, we talked about the challenge of loving others with God’s impossible love, something we can only do with His superhuman strength. Today, let’s explore how we can access that love, how it can be such a reality in our lives, that it becomes easier and easier to love others in the same way.

So, how can we love others with this superhuman, “1 Corinthians 13”, love? It starts with learning to be loved, choosing to accept, experience, and live in the reality of God’s impossible all-encompassing love.

Choose to

Accept the reality of God’s love. Acknowledge the truth that even though you don’t deserve it, God loves you in this mind-blowing, all-encompassing way.

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails;

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

Experience the reality of God’s love. Knowing something, in your head, is the starting place, but experience is what solidifies the truth in your heart and spirit. Only when you make the decision to trust God’s love, will you experience the reality of it. What does that look like? It means letting go, and accepting His help/grace. Letting go of the need for control, of self-hatred, or guilt, or hurt, or fear, or self-centeredness, or self-protection – whatever has been dominating your life, and holding you captive. And then, grabbing on to the truth that He will take care of you, and lead you in the way you need to go. It means resting in the truth that you are loved, cared for, valued, important, wanted. That you belong. That you are safe.
Live in the reality of God’s love. Living in the reality of God’s love for you, is simply this: practicing steps 1 and 2, over and over again, until they become a deep habit that marks the fabric of your life.

The more we live in the reality of God’s love for us – the more we acknowledge the truth of it, and then choose to trust it – the more power we have to love others in the same way.

We love because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19

Superhuman Part 1: The Need for Super Power

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by Lydia Floren

Our family has always been enamored with superheroes. Ever since our boys were little our home has been populated with superhero toys, games, comic books, movies and costumes.

One of the kids even had a superhuman theme for homecoming one year.

And how many people do you know that have a Thor-sized hammer in their garage?

Why are superheroes so popular? Because they have super powers, of course. All of us, at one time or another, have wished for some type extraordinary ability, haven’t we? Maybe we dreamed of having

Photographic memory, so that we could get an “A” on every test.
Time travel, so that we could see the future (and maybe win the lottery).
Instant tele-transportation, so that we wouldn’t be late to an appointment (although I am not sure that would totally cure my tendency toward lateness).

I have often thought that following God requires supernatural strength, especially in the most fundamental thing God asks us to do: to love. “Oh that’s not so hard,” you might say, Everyone knows how to love.” Well maybe, if you think that the love God wants us to give others is just sappy sentimentalism, or electrifying passion, or dutiful good deeds. But the love God wants us to give others goes far beyond this. Here’s what 1 Corinthians 13 says love really looks like (my paraphrasing):

Love is…

Patient.

Kind.

Trusting.

Understated.

Respectful.

Gracious.

Selfless.

Unflappable. (Has a long fuse.)

Love…

Forgives easily and often. (Doesn’t hold grudges.)

Celebrates the good.

Bears all things.

Believes all things.

Hopes all things.

Endures all things.

Love never fails.

Impossible.

Loving like this is hard, isn’t it? It’s particularly difficult when you try to love a person who is rude, or selfish, or arrogant or fickle. And it’s near impossible to do when that person has deeply hurt you, or someone you love.

And why would we want to love someone like that? Some people don’t deserve to be loved…do they?

No. Some people don’t deserve to be loved. But, let’s be honest. There are times when each of us is hard to love – much less like. Haven’t we all at one time or another been rude, selfish, arrogant, and fickle – and probably worse? It’s funny how little we remember the hurt we inflict, and how often we recall the pain others cause us. Truthfully, no one – not one of us – deserves to be loved the way that 1 Corinthians describes it. But God loves us like that anyway.

Still, being around a difficult person is, well…difficult. So how do we get past the distaste, the offense, the hurt? How do we release the pain so that we can love someone in the way God asks us to love them?

Super strength for super love.

Godly love requires God’s power. Only with the help of God can we set aside our own feelings and love others like God calls us to love – bearing, believing, hoping, enduring all things. God-Who-Is-Love has given us His super-strength to love others in a way we could never do on our own. Our job is not to conjure up love, but to access God’s rich store of love, already present in our hearts.

Are you finding it difficult – maybe even impossible – to love someone in your life? You are not alone. And you are not on your own. God gives us the ability to love others with superhuman, life – changing love.

Which, by the way, is the same way He loves each of us.

We love because He first loved us.

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,

does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into

account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;

bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails; 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

Tasting God’s Kindness

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by Lydia Floren

“…if you have tasted the kindness of the Lord.” 1 Peter 2:3

I eat fast. Really fast. My husband, Andrew, does too. Often when we are out to dinner, and the waitress breezes by to ask, “How are the first few bites tasting?”, Andrew is reaching for his wallet and I am asking for a “to go” box. Those of you who have shared a meal with us are nodding and smiling, aren’t you?

In our defense, we come by this food-shoveling habit honestly. It was a survival skill we each developed during our medical training. Here’s a typical scenario of dinner as a resident-on-call:

After multiple visits to the ER, two admissions and a crisis in the ICU, our four-to-five-member on-call team, finally catches a break. Uniformed in scrubs and stethescopes, we head down to the cafeteria, to stack our trays with the free hospital food. After settling into orange vinyl seats and tasting the first few bites, a beep-beep-beep sounds. And then, another one joins in. As everyone reaches for their pagers, an announcement drones overhead: “Code Blue, 4^th floor, west wing… code blue, 4^th floor, west wing.” Collectively we groan, and then grab our gear and rush upstairs to see about the emergency. Often – no, usually – by the time we make it back down to the basement to try to salvage the remainder of our cold meal, we find the cafeteria is dark, its doors bolted shut. Sigh. Another night of vending machine supper.

In residency, it became clear that you’d better eat fast, or you may not get to eat at all. Food wasn’t to be savored, just consumed, because the main point of eating was not enjoyment, but sustenance. Enjoying the taste of food was a luxury one could not afford, with such an unpredictable schedule.

Andrew and I have learned over the years that normal people don’t gulp or shovel. Normal people take their time, and actually seem to enjoy the taste of their food. They savor. They actually enjoy what they are eating. When I eat dinner with these folks, I find that I appreciate the flavor of my food more than I ever would on my own.

1 Peter talks about tasting the kindness of the Lord.

I love that word picture, because in order to taste something, you have to slow down and pay attention to what you are eating. Don’t we find ourselves rushing through life, consuming the blessings God gives us, but never taking time to savor them? In order to taste God’s kindness, we have to be willing to let go of our tendency to hurry, and embrace a more leisurely, thoughtful approach to life. Let’s face it: most of our rushing around is not because of life or death emergencies. It is primarily caused by an accumulation of commitments or desires – some important, some not so important.

So today, choose to not simply consume God’s kindnesses without really appreciating them. Instead, choose to taste God’s kindness. Take the time to notice the many wonderful ways He has, and is now, blessing you. Savor His loving presence always with you and within you. Enjoy!

Snowballs and Forgiveness

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Snowballs and Forgiveness

by Lydia Floren

I mess up. In big and little ways. I can judge people. Disrespect their boundaries. Poke my head in where it doesn’t belong. I can be inconsiderate and rude. Selfish. Unforgiving. I can neglect my health, Indulge myself in a pity party. Waste time…You get the idea. I mess up. A lot.

And, when I realize I’ve screwed up, I make it all worse by beating myself up.

“Why did you do that? you know better than that? What’s wrong with you?” And then, I pile on the guilt of past misdeeds, like I’m wagging a finger at myself. “That’s just like the last time…will you ever learn?…” And I have just started on my general sorry-ness. My favorite phrase at this stage of the self-guilt-trip is, “I am not enough.” I am not good enough, kind enough, considerate enough, productive enough, forgiving enough, _______ enough,. My accusations snowball into a huge mound of negative thinking that rolls over my hope. Pretty soon, I have convinced myself that, “I am a bad person. I will never change.”

This dirty snowball that has barreled down the hill of my past failures, finally rolls to a stop at God’s feet. I look up into His gentle, kind eyes.

“I’ve done it again, haven’t I Father?”, I say. (He nods) “I’ve messed up, and then made it all worse by beating myself up, instead of remembering that I am forgiven and loved. Thank you, that You came to set me free of this condemnation. Remind me again, please, of who I am, and who You are.”

“You are, My precious child,” He responds, “so precious and valuable to Me that I was willing to give My life for you to be with me in eternity. Never forget that. I am more powerful than every evil in this world, and I love you. I have already paid for every single one of your transgressions—past, present and future. Instead of trying to fix yourself, just leave this all at my feet, every day, and follow me.

“Start again, today, right now. Enjoy this day I have given you, and be at peace. Know that as you walk with me, I am healing you day by day. I am exposing Satan’s lies and accusations and bringing you into increased truth in your life. So you can live as you were born to live: connected to me, accepted by me, made perfect by me, and used by me to love those who cross your path.”

Under the heat of God’s truth-light, my snowball of condemnation melts away,

until all that remains is a little patch of dirt. He reaches out with His foot and scuffs it away, and then His gaze meets mine.

“Where are your accusers?”, He asks.

“Gone,” I say.

He nods, and then responds. “Sin no longer has power over you. I have broken that power. I have set you free from its hold. Walk in that freedom. Go and sin no more, remembering that I am right beside you every minute, protecting and guiding you in your journey.”

We share a smile. Then He throws His arm over my shoulder, and together we step back onto our path, talking and laughing as we stroll along.

Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free. John 8:32

A Gift That Keeps on Giving

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Kindness: A Gift That Keeps on Giving

by Lydia Floren

It’s cold up here in Wisconsin, so when the weather finally warms up, most of us folks try to stay out of doors as much as possible. For me, that means spending lots of time in my garden.

Gardening is different in the Northwoods. We are in the “3b” USDA cold hardiness zone. The little purple stripe on the tippy top of the map.

What that means is that the growing season is short, and only certain types of plants will survive. I have learned that perennials – flowers that come back every year – are the way to go. Several friends and neighbors have shared extras perennials with me over the years (and most of them I have managed to keep alive). For example, Liz gave me some hostas, and my neighbor across the road some angel’s wings. Rhoda donated some bee balm and a rose bush I can’t kill (I am quite good at killing roses!). Lori contributed a bunch of day lilies and ferns, and I think some purple iris (was that you, Lori?).

Perennial blessings

Anyway, the explosive color in my yard summer after summer is in largely due to these dear folks’ kindness. These flowers bless me and my family every year, and many others who happen by, for some reason or another. Often they remind me of the friends who contributed so generously to my garden, the memories prompting me to give thanks for the friend.

Memorable kindness

Gifts that keep on giving can come in all kinds of packages. They might be plants, or tangible presents people have given, like the afghan Karley crocheted for me, or the little pillow Debra gave me for my birthday one year. But the kindnesses that I most vividly remember are often the ones I can’t see or touch. Terri, for example, taking an afternoon to shop for clothes just for me. Karen sending her boys over to help me sod the backyard, before Michael and Kiley’s wedding reception. John Larson making me feel like a part of the team, when I started practice in Bloomer. Ms. Paula patiently listening, as I tearfully shared some small concern about my kindergartener. John Markquart rescuing me on the side of the road, where I was stuck in the snow.

And my sister, Becky, painting my toenails while I was flat on my back after surgery.

Kindness endures

Kindness endures. It lasts long after the ground freezes over, the polish wears off, the clothes are discarded. A kindness – especially an intangible kindness – is remembered and shared and multiplied, traveling far beyond where you think it has gone. And, while many can be touched by it, kindness invariably blesses the giver most of all.

So, if you feel that nudge to share an extra smile, or go out of your way a a bit, or give away some of what you have, do it. Kindness is never wasted. It truly is a gift that keeps on giving.

Be kind and compassionate to one another. Eph. 4:32

What memories do you have of someone being kind to you? Please share. We would love to hear from you.

Distraction Detours

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by Lydia Floren

We all get distracted from time to time, especially those of us with ADD. Here is an example of what I call a “distraction detour” from my life recently:

I am finishing a task in the kitchen before I head out to run errands, and realize I need something from upstairs, so I run up to get it. I walk into the spare bedroom, and immediately notice that it is a mess. I pick up a book and put it on its shelf. And then I rearrange the shelf a little. And before I know it I have completely organized the room.

And then I look at the clock.

Two hours. I’ve been up here two hours. How in the world did I get started on this? Oh yeah, I came up here looking for something…what exactly was I looking for?

I shrug my shoulders, and hurry back down to the kitchen. As I enter, my eyes fall on a T.J. Max bag sitting on the counter. Oh yeah, the baby shower gift. That’s why I went upstairs: I needed a gift bag. I turn around and climb back up the stairs muttering “gift bag, gift bag, gift bag” with every step, so I won’t forget why I came upstairs this time, and end up getting side-tracked all over again.

Sigh. Distractions happen. And occasionally–more for some of us than others– they sidetrack us. An unplanned two hour detour in a busy day, shoots a hole in our careful plans, and keeps us from accomplishing as much as we had hoped. But we don’t have to let these DD’s ruin our day. When my day is disrupted by a Distraction Detour, I get frustrated with myself for letting it happen. All too often, I will continue ranting at myself for the rest of the day every time I think about it.

What is wrong with you? Can’t you even go upstairs and find a stupid gift bag in under two hours? Look at the time! Even if I hurry the rest of the day, I’ll never get everything done now!

Distraction detours impact our plans, but they don’t have to steal our joy.

So what’s a person to do when you recognize you have a DD? And how do you keep a Detour from turning into a Disaster? Here’s a few things I have learned in my long experience with DD’s:

PUSH THE RESET BUTTON.

As soon as you realize what is happening, stop. Take a deep breath. Give thanks. As my friend Denise often reminds me, “There is always always always something to be thankful for.” Next, walk through the rest of the GRACE pneumonic we’ve talked about before (see Living GRACE)—Give thanks, Release, Accept, Continue, Enjoy.

Give thanks. Thank You, God, for my mind, no matter how scattered it gets. For Your love and patience, for the way You made me. Thank You that You multiply my time, and will help me to do what is most important without worrying. And thank you for what I got done these last 2 hours, even if it wasn’t on today’s to do list.

Release. I give all my time to you, and all my plans. I release myself from the expectation of perfection. Please show me how to give myself grace, and lighten up a little (or a lot). And help me to quit “shoulding“ on myself.

Accept. Here’s where I am now, Father. It’s __o’clock. I have ___ hrs left in the day. As I regroup, show me what is most important. Help me to eliminate and concentrate.

[You might make a short to-do list, 3-5 things, depending on how much time is left.]

Continue. Start out fresh, right where you are, as if it was the beginning of the day,

Enjoy the rest of the day, free of worry and minus the self-guilt trip. God understands, and he loves us just like we are. So lighten up. Laugh a little, and then a lot.

Distraction detours happen to all of us. Don’t let them highjack your joy. Be kind to yourself. Step back, regroup, handle them with GRACE. Laugh a little (and then a lot) and move on!

Don’t remember the former things; don’t dwell on things past. Isaiah 43:18

Rejoice in the Lord always. Phil 4:4