Tag Archives: Managing Life

New Year, New Plans

As we kick off 2019, many of us are re-evaluating things and looking ahead to the new year. We are making resolutions, thinking about new habits, and seeking God’s direction in our lives.

I have written many posts – even series of posts – that are relevant to the “planning season” of the year, so this week I thought I’d give you a roundup of 5 posts I’ve written in previous years around this time (or on similar topics), so you can revisit the ones that you need most this week:

sunset over the sea

Last year I laid out my “Four Steps to Planning the Year.” This is a great place to start if you don’t already have a process for yourself.

 

I wrote a series of three posts on Goals – starting with “Taking Aim”. If you need to review and revisit your goals, this would be a great place for you to start.

 

Over mountain scene, "For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope. Jef. 29:11

This four-part planning series, beginning with “God’s Plan A,”  deals with God’s plans for us, how we can know if we need to re-evaluate, different ways of planning, and praying through planning.

 

2:5:16 Pray Plan Pray

If praying through your plans is the area you want to focus on, read “Pray Plan Pray” for my framework for praying at the beginning of the year.

 

3:9:16 Prepping for success

Prepping for Success” is a post I wrote about how I stay focused on my daily meeting with God. If you are looking to start a new habit this year, and particularly if that habit is staying focused in your daily meetings with God, read this post for my best tips.

Anxiety from a Doctor’s Perspective – Banishing Anxiety Part 6

banishing anxiety

Anxiety is epidemic in our culture. Being a physician, I see it all the time. And while I think the spiritual and emotional aspects of anxiety are crucial to treatment, I think that medical therapy is also a good option at times. Anxiety is linked to our brain chemistry, so when our chemistry is off, we experience the feeling of anxiety.

The chicken or the egg?

So the question is, which came first, the chicken or the egg? Is our brain chemistry altered, and that is why we are anxious? Or are we anxious or afraid, and that alters our brain chemistry? Well, usually a bit of both.

Back in the day

Most of us have some underlying anxiety—manifested by altered brain chemistry– simply because of the overstimulated technical culture we live in. 100 years ago when someone plowed a field or churned butter, or took the clothes off the line, they were inadvertently balancing out that brain chemistry with exercise and fresh air and non-processed food. Today, not so much. Processed foods, an imbalanced diet, poor sleep habits, minimal exercise and indoor living all add to our general levels of stress and anxiety.

Anxiety in the genes

There are others of us that have a hereditary predisposition to anxiety. In our family, long before anyone knew much about this problem, my cousins would talk about “The Lowe disease.”  They were referring to the fact that just about every person on my father’s side-the Lowe side– of the family has struggled with significant anxiety and panic attacks.

Bottom line

Whether it’s the chicken or the egg, the end result is that many of us suffer from life-altering and sometimes incapacitating anxiety. Fortunately, physicians have some excellent tools for treating anxiety disorders so that people don’t have to be debilitated by this problem.

Alter our environments:

There are three ways we can alter our environments that might help.

  • Change what we eat, by eliminating caffeine, processed foods, refined carbohydrates, preservatives, and drinking lots of water.
  • Get more sleep, guarding our time so that we get adequate amounts of rest and sleep.
  • Exercise. It’s helpful if we increase our heart rate for at least 20 minutes a day, most days of the week.

Therapy:

There are some great new therapies to help with anxiety, and consulting with a licensed therapist or counselor can greatly help.

Medication:

When I went into practice, the only medication we had for anxiety was Valium. That was it. Now there are a variety of meds that can greatly help with this disorder. Sometimes we only need them for a while, so that we can function enough to work on non-medication methods of dealing with anxiety, or to get through a very stressful situation. Other times, we need them for a more prolonged period of treatment, or even for a lifetime, if the brain chemistry problem is inherent.

 

Anxiety is a huge problem in our society, and those of us who practice medicine see it all the time.  Fortunately, God has provided lots of ways for us to banish this problem from our lives. First and foremost, as I have mentioned in previous posts, we need to connect with God, and receive His guidance in the best path for us to overcome this. Many times He provides through helping us see the lies we believe, and replacing them with truth. Other times He provides by increasing our perspective or helping us to understand our past. And sometimes He provides for us through therapy, and/or medication. Just like a diabetic needs insulin, sometimes people need medication to straighten out their brain chemistry and overcome anxiety.

When was the last time you struggled with anxiety, and what did you find helpful? Leave a comment below, or join the conversation on social media.

Read all of my previous posts on anxiety here:

Going Through the Motions

Going Through the Motions

by Lydia Floren

Greeting cards are a part of our family’s birthday tradition. As a “good husband,” Andrew knows this. And since he is not a homemade card kind of guy, every year he faithfully buys me, and gives me, a few cards –  most funny, and, at least one is serious.

One year,  I was particularly touched by the sweet sentiment in the “serious” card he gave me.

“Oh, Honey! That is beautiful. Thank you!”  With a tear in my eye, I glanced up at him.

He had this blank look on his face. And, I got a little suspicious. 

“Did you read it?” I asked.  (His signature was at the bottom, so it would seem like a natural assumption that he had.)

His expression turned sheepish.

“Really? You gave me a card, but you didn’t even read it?”

“Well I glanced at it. It looked like something you would like.”

At first I was hurt. And then, I burst out laughing. 

The next year, when I opened “the mushy birthday card” not only was his signature at the bottom, but there was a little “p.s.”  afterwards: 

“Yes, I read it.”

Birthday Cake

How often do we glance at God’s word, but don’t take the time to really read it? Or, we say a perfunctory  prayer, but our minds are wandering elsewhere? When we do, we aren’t fooling anyone but ourselves. And, we miss out. Our relationship with God is the most important relationship in the world. If we truly believe that, committing our full attention every day to a verse or two in the Bible – and listening to what He might be saying to us through it – is time well spent. 

Have you been going through the motions of spending time with God? If so, don’t miss out another day. Take some time. Give Him your undivided attention. It will bless your socks off. Do it regularly, and it will  change your life. 

“You have the words of eternal life.”  John 6:68

“For they deliberately overlook this fact, that the heavens existed long ago, and
the earth was formed out of water and through water by the 
word of God.”  2 Peter 3:5

“Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.”  Psalm 119:105

Sunset "The things of earth grow strangely dim, in the light of God's glory and grace."

Discovering Paris – Breathe Series, Part 3

Eiffel Tower against a blue skyDiscovering Paris

by Lydia Floren

Paris has long been on my bucket list. So, last year in celebration of our 30th wedding anniversary, Andrew and I finally set aside a week to visit this famous place. We stayed at an Airbnb, a 200+ year old walkup apartment in Marais, right in the heart of the city. From this prime spot, under the guidance of our dear friend Jenn, we proceeded to take in the sites and sounds of Paris. We breakfasted on quiche at the patisserie across the street.  We strolled down cobblestone streets, and we sipped spiced wine at sunset on Mont Marche We peeked through a clock-face of the Musee D’Orsay and snacked on crepes from a roadside vendor. We crossed the Seine via the Pont Neuf, and gazed down the Hall of Mirrors in Versailles. And, we smiled (back) at Mona Lisa.

And, of course, we (mostly me) took lots of pictures.

View of a city from above

Window box with geraniums

Cathedral from below

Blue fairy lights on Paris street

Streetlights lining a street

View through a giant clock face

crepes being made by street vendor

Arched bridge over river at night

The Hall of Mirrors

Eiffel Tower at night

Paris truly exceeded my expectations. But I never expected that it would change me the way it did.  After being there a few days I started to see that In Paris, folks didn’t seem to be in a hurry. Despite the December chill, hundreds of people would sit for hours in outside cafes chatting while they sipped coffee or a glass of wine. No one gave more than a passing glance to their cellphones. I don’t remember seeing a TV. Anywhere. As I watched the way Parisians lived, I began to see how isolated my life had become, how isolating our culture tends to be. And rushed.

Paris street market

2 young men in cafe

five friends in a cafe

Parisians by their example, reminded me to live my life more relaxed, more connected and less distracted.

The real world

But Paris is not the real world, at least not my world. In that world I have responsibilities: houses to clean, jobs to do, children to tend. It didn’t take me long to  plunge again into that Life.  But often in the ordinary days I would find myself drifting back  back to our time in Paris, and I would feel my heart smile.  I would remember again that finding joy in life is not about what I do as much as how I do it.

And I would remind myself that

There is time, if I will take it, to linger over dinner, share a laugh, snap a picture.

There is resolve, if I will use it, to turn off my cellphone and clear my over-busy schedule.

There is opportunity, if I will grab it, to savor the moment, to soak in the beauty, and—most of all—to enjoy the relationships I have been given along the way.

Paris….it’s been awhile.  My heart still smiles.

dozens of padlocks with love messages

For more, read Breathe Series Part 1, and Breathe Series Part 2

Distraction Detours

Two directional signs in the woods.by Lydia Floren

We all get distracted from time to time, especially those of us with ADD. Here is an example of what I call a “distraction detour” from my life recently:

I am finishing a task in the kitchen before I head out to run errands, and realize I need something from upstairs, so I run up to get it.  I walk into the spare bedroom, and immediately notice that it is a mess. I pick up a book and put it on its shelf. And then I rearrange the shelf a little. And before I know it I have completely organized the room.

And then I look at the clock.

 Two hours. I’ve been up here two hours. How in the world did I get started on this?  Oh yeah, I came up here looking for something…what exactly was I looking for?

I shrug my shoulders, and hurry back down to the kitchen.  As I enter, my eyes fall on a T.J. Max bag sitting on the counter. Oh yeah, the baby shower gift. That’s why I went upstairs: I needed a gift bag.   I turn around and climb back up the stairs muttering “gift bag, gift bag, gift bag” with every step, so I won’t forget why I came upstairs this time, and end up getting side-tracked all over again.

Sigh. Distractions happen. And occasionally–more for some of us than others– they sidetrack us. An unplanned two hour detour in a busy day, shoots a hole in our careful plans, and keeps us from accomplishing as much as we had hoped.  But we don’t have to let these DD’s ruin our day.   When my day is disrupted by a Distraction Detour, I get frustrated with myself for letting it happen. All too often, I will continue ranting at myself for the rest of the day every time I think about it.

What is wrong with you? Can’t you even go upstairs and find a stupid gift bag in under two hours?  Look at the time! Even if I hurry the rest of the day, I’ll never get everything done now!

Distraction detours impact our plans, but they don’t have to steal our joy.

So what’s a person to do when you recognize you have a DD?  And how do you keep a Detour from turning into a Disaster? Here’s a few things I have learned in my long experience with DD’s:

PUSH THE RESET BUTTON.

As soon as you realize what is happening, stop.  Take a deep breath. Give thanks. As my friend Denise often reminds me, “There is always always always something to be thankful for.”  Next, walk through the rest of the GRACE pneumonic we’ve talked about before (see Living GRACE)—Give thanks, Release, Accept, Continue, Enjoy.

Give thanks. Thank You, God, for my mind, no matter how scattered it gets. For Your love and patience, for the way You made me. Thank You that You multiply my time, and will help me to do what is most important without worrying. And thank you for what I got done these last 2 hours, even if it wasn’t on today’s to do list.

Release. I give all my time to you, and all my plans. I release myself from the expectation of perfection.   Please show me how to give myself grace, and lighten up a little (or a lot). And help me to quit “shoulding on myself.

Accept. Here’s where I am now, Father. It’s __o’clock. I have ___ hrs left in the day.  As I regroup, show me what is most important. Help me to eliminate and concentrate.  

[You might make a short to-do list, 3-5 things, depending on how much time is left.]

Continue.  Start out fresh, right where you are, as if it was the beginning of the day,

Enjoy  the rest of the day, free of worry and minus the self-guilt trip. God understands, and he loves us just like we are. So lighten up.  Laugh a little, and then a lot.

Distraction detours happen to all of us. Don’t let them highjack your joy. Be kind to yourself. Step back, regroup, handle them with GRACE.  Laugh a little (and then a lot) and move on!

Don’t remember the former things; don’t dwell on things past. Isaiah 43:18

Rejoice in the Lord always. Phil 4:4

Overwhelming GRACE

0verwhelming GRACE

overwhelming GRACE

Overwhelming GRACE

by Lydia Floren

When life seems overwhelming, it is hard to wait on God. And even when we choose to be still,  our minds can continue to race, robbing us of this precious time to re-energize and refocus.

Praying GRACE is an awesome way to break free of swirling thoughts, and drink in God’s peace and love.

Give thanks:

Thank you, God, that you are here. You love me, and those Iove. You know exactly what is going on. You meet me right where I am and are leading me in the next step. You are powerful and have everything under control. I am safe.

Release:

Father, you know all of these things swirling around in my head. I just leave them one by one at your feet. You are in control. I don’t need to be, and frankly, I can’t be.  Thank you for helping me to see that. Forgive me when I try to take control instead of trusting you.

Accept:

Father, I accept the lighter load of following you, instead of trying to figure out everything on my own. I accept Your leadership and direction. Right now I choose to listen as you speak through your word, and your still small voice within me.

Continue:

God, I choose to continue moving forward in the way you have already led me, trusting you to make clear any changes that need to be made.  Thank you that even if/when things don’t seem clear, you will open doors, close others, helping me to see plainly which way to go.

Enjoy:

Father thank you that I can just enjoy the day in front of me, knowing that You’re with me–reassuring, guiding, loving. I can enjoy each moment knowing that you’re taking care of everything, and that you have the big picture in mind.

                This is the day which the LORD has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24

you are lovely, and loved.

God's grace is overwhelming

God’s Answer to Overwhelm

7:1:16 God's Answer to OverwhelmGod’s Answer to Overwhelm

by Lydia Floren

Do you ever feel like you have too much to do and not enough time? What a question! Of course you do. Life in the 21st century rolls along at neck-breaking speed. We can try to manage it (and that is good to do) but even with our best efforts our lives can get out of balance. We get exhausted. Malnourished. Crabby.

We “don’t have time” to exercise regularly, or eat healthy food. We sleep poorly, because we stay up late doing stuff, or we have so much on our minds that it’s hard to get to sleep, or stay asleep.

And how can we possibly afford to spend 30-60 uninterrupted minutes in our day for time with God? Our life is one big interruption!

When I was in medical school, I regularly experienced this sense of being overwhelmed. There was too much to learn. Not enough time to grasp it all. And the constant fear lurking in the back of my head: If I didn’t learn this, would some patient die as a result? How would I ever be a good doctor? I would pray, “God, what have you gotten me into? Or what have I gotten myself into? Did I hear you wrong, when I felt you leading me toward going to medical school?”

Isaiah 40:27-31 was my answer from Him:

“Why do you say, O Jacob, and assert, O Israel, “My way is hidden from the LORD, And the justice due me escapes the notice of my God?””

Huh. That sure sounds a lot like me.

“Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable.” 

Yeah, I “know” this. I’ve heard it all my life. I guess I just don’t remember it or believe it very well. So, You DO know what is going on. You know exactly what my situation is. Good. [rub hands together] What’s the plan?

“He gives strength to the weary, And to him who lacks might He increases power.” 

Sounds good. I am ready for some of that strength and power, especially the brain power.

“Though youths grow weary and tired, And vigorous young men stumble badly, yet those who wait for the LORD will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary.” 

Wait? Wait. You want me to wait? What do you mean “wait”?

[More next week.]

Share with Us: What have you learned when you find yourself overwhelmed?

Prepping for Success

3:9:16 Prepping for successby Lydia Floren

It is always soul-enriching, being with God. Why do I wait? What could possibly give me more life than spending time in His presence? Having those moments that soak into my soul?

Nothing.

Prepping for success

How can we be prepping for success? How do we minimize distractions first thing in the morning, and optimize our chances of success, in this all important meeting with The Person Who Loves Us Most? Here are a few thoughts that have helped me:

1. Restrict my daily “To Do” list to 5 items. I only allow 5 things on my to do list every day, and #1 is “Be loved by God, and listen.“

2. Plan and Prepare the night before:

  • Straighten up the night before, especially the area where I have my prayer/time with God.
  • Make this area inviting—soothing, peaceful. Pictures, flowers, music at the ready.
  • Get coffee set up to go automatically.
  • Have my journal/Bible/materials set out.
  • Go to bed on time, and set my alarm.

2. Keep a running task list handy. When things I need to do, or ideas I have, start crowding my mind, I can write them down and get them out of my head.

3. Continue reviewing my priorities and goals, so other things don’t creep into my life and
rob me of the most important things.

What do you do to stay focused in your daily meeting with God? Please share! I would love to hear from you!

A Recurring Struggle

3:3:16 Recurring Struggleby Lydia Floren

It happened again. I got distracted, and pretty soon two hours had passed and I still hadn’t spent any time alone with God. Once again, I let other things keep me from meeting Him at the first of my day: an unfinished project, a messy house, calls to make, emails to answer. It is a recurring struggle.

I am not alone in this recurring struggle.

C.S. Lewis wrote in Mere Christianity,

“The real problem of the Christian life comes where people do not usually look for it. It comes the very moment you wake up each morning. All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving that all back; in listening to that other voice, taking that other point of view, letting that other larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing in and so on, all day. Standing back from all your natural fussing and fretting; coming in out of the wind.

“We can only do it for moments at first. But from those moments the new sort of life will be spreading through our system, because now we are letting Him work at the right part of us. It is the difference between paint, which is merely laid on the surface, and a dye or stain which soaks right through.”
Wow. Moments of “letting that other, larger, stronger quieter life come flowing in.” . Moments of joy, of peace, of finding perspective, of talking to my best friend. The more I have of these, the more I hunger for them.

Everything really does fall into place once I take the time to really connect with God, soaking in His love and presence.

Worth the effort, I think.

What are your thoughts?

What Should I Do Now? Making Plans

2:25:16 What should I do Nowby Lydia Floren

Last week in “What Should I Do Next?”, I wrote about making plans. I’m not going to lie. Planning takes time and perseverance. It is hard to make myself take a chunk of time to pray through and decide what is the best way to spend my time and resources.

But tough choices aren’t just limited to making plans.

When we face dilemmas, we ask ourselves, “What should I do now?
Many times we are faced with dilemmas in life – difficult relationships, career decisions, parenting concerns. Everything seems muddled. We can feel totally at a loss about how to respond, or which way to go. And it stresses us out. We need wisdom beyond our own understanding.

Proverbs 2 has some great insight:
“If you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.” Prov. 2:1-5

Here’s another way to say these verses:

Steps Toward Wisdom (paraphrase of Prov. 2:1-5)

  • Accept and store up God’s word:  make a practice of exposing yourself to the truth of God’s word and God’s presence every day. Respect it. Let it sink into your heart and spirit.
  • Listen: Pay attention to how God might be speaking to you in your situation. Do your best to try to understand what He is saying in your heart through His word and His presence.
  •  ASK HIM for His perspective on your situation. Plead with Him to increase your understanding beyond what you can do on your own.
  • Search for God’s wisdom. Actively look for His insight. Let that be the most important thing to you, more important than the facts that you have gathered, your own conclusions, or the opinions others.

When you do these things, you will find the knowledge you seek about what your next steps should be. And you will experience just how amazing God is.

Remembering our highest priority keeps everything in perspective.
When we make our relationship with God our highest priority, He helps us put everything in perspective, and gives us wisdom beyond our own understanding.

Is your relationship with God your highest priority in life? How do your choices of how you spend your time and resources reflect that priority? What plans/steps can you make to better accept, listen, ask and search for God’s wisdom?

“And you will seek me and find me, when you search for me with all your heart. And I will be found by you, declares the Lord.”  Jer. 29:12