Savoring A Taste of Heaven. Joy Lives In Contentment.

One Saturday last August, Andrew and I blasted ourselves out of our rut and spent the day boating on nearby Lake Wissota. It was a perfect Wisconsin summer day. The water, hemmed by lush green, shimmered in the quiet morning light. The sun was warm, not hot, and a gentle breeze was rustling the trees.

For the first half of the day, we puttered from one end of the lake to the other. I was preoccupied. My thoughts kept drifting away from this beauty to the restlessness of “I wants.” I want to live on the water. How could we find a way to do it? Where would be the best place to live? Wonder what the property values and taxes are? Is it feasible? Wonder how much that property costs? I was distracted by what I didn’t have, instead of focusing on what I had been given:

A gorgeous day.
The company of my wonderful husband.
A panorama of natural beauty.

About midway through the day, I pulled out my camera and started snapping pictures. My attention was captured by lily pads and weeping willows, craggy cliffs, wild flowers, and of course the water–rippling, reflecting, shimmering, and sparkling. An awareness of my surroundings remained long after I stowed my camera. I noticed the quiet sounds of crickets buzzing and water lapping. I felt the tangled senses of sun-warmth and cool breeze. I experienced the gentle rock of the boat lulling me to sleep. I was content.

God offers me tastes of heaven every day–and every day I choose. Do I strain to look beyond the amazing gifts in front of me? Or, do I savor the blessings I have already been given?

Joy lives in contentment.

(BTW, I didn’t photograph a single house.)

Share with us: How do you remain content? We would love to hear from you.

Recent posts: Circling Back, Sharing a Sunset, Enjoying God’s Presence.

Circling Back

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Circling Back

by Lydia Floren

God loves me—personally, and intimately.

I feel like God has taught me a lot over the years, but it all seems to circle back to the fact that He loves me. Me, personally. Not me as a part of the universal blob known as Humanity, though He does love every person He created. He loves me–individually, personally, intimately.

I can feel like such a stranger to that love.

I am so frustrated that after all this time of reading and writing on God’s love, I can feel like such a stranger to that love. I don’t know what the barrier is, but I want to break through it and let that love stream into my heart and soul. It has before. What is hindering it now?

I have drifted.

I think it is what it always is. I have drifted. My focus has drifted away from God somehow. I get caught up in what I am doing, the project I am working on, the plans I have made. Or I get distracted by obstacles, or fears, or hurts. I don’t stay focused–in my mind and heart–on Him.

He knows this happens.

He knows this happens. Maybe even expects it. Yet He isn’t angry, or impatient, or annoyed. He is just waiting. He is waiting by the well of His living water—His love. He is waiting for me to come back and drink deeply, and resume our conversation. He is waiting for me to recognize my fear as the sign it is—a lack of focus on Him—and to return. And focus.

Circling Back

When I do return—and I do, because once I have tasted the joy of being loved, I don’t want to be without it–He doesn’t want me to fill up my canteen and take off again. He wants me to wait: to wait with Him, and to wait for Him. To wait with Him as He heals a wound or rectifies a false belief or misunderstanding. To wait for Him to signal when it is time to move ahead once again.

Hopefully in my journey, as I learn to wait with Him, and to wait for Him, I will find myself circling back less and less,. Because I know God’s desire for me is to travel in tandem with Him every day, enjoying His loving presence as I go.

How do you circle back? Please bless us with your insights!

Sharing a sunset. Enjoying the presence of God.

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by Lydia Floren

“Solitude is not withdrawal in order to get away. It is withdrawal in order to be with Someone who normally gets crowded out of our lives…. it is the place of love and trust. It therefore puts presence before action and seeks companionship before help.” (Charles Rigma)

So many times when I am alone with God, I have an agenda. I might want perspective, or wisdom, or direction, or healing of some sort. But I think much of that time with HIm would be better spent not seeking anything, except to just hang out with Him. No agenda. No words, really. Just two friends relishing a companionable silence—aware of each other, but not expecting from each other. We have an understanding: I enjoy His presence, and He enjoys mine.

I liken it to sitting with a close friend at the beach watching a sunset. Though no words are exchanged, the connectedness is almost palpable. And the silence between us seems to magnify the beauty surrounding us.

In Heaven, I expect God and I will share many such quiet moments, enjoying the sweep of a mountain vista, the trill of a child’s laugh. Or the velvet touch of a horse’s nuzzle, or the fragrance of a rose in bloom. But those experiences will pale compared to the stunning beauty of God Himself. His integrity. His wisdom. His vitality. His strength. His gentleness.

heaven is a ways off, thought, and there is much yet to do in this life. People to help. Commitments to keep. Plans to make, and then to follow.

There is a journey. And I am on it.

However, I must remember: part of that journey includes tasting a bit of heaven from time to time. It is dangling my legs over a seawall with a Good Friend, watching the horizon together in companionable silence. It is enjoying My Creator’s presence, not for what I can learn from Him, or for what He can do for me—but simply because He is there, and I love Him, and He loves me.

And because it is just nice to share a sunset together.

Share with us: How do you find the time to enjoy God’s company?

Recent posts – Time Management Series: Taking Aim: Goal Series – Part I, Beginning With The End In Mi nd: Goal Series – Part II, The Right Things For The Right Reasons: Goal Series – Part III

The Right Things For The Right Reasons: Goals series part 3

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by Lydia Floren

Can we learn to be free from our performance-based roots, and still be “in the game” of life? Yes. Paul advised this:

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. Romans 12:2 NLT

Transformation of the way we think is crucial to following God. First this involves a change of focus, as we discussed in the last two blogs on goals. Instead of adopting our culture’s definition of “success,” we must embrace the more compelling goal to “make love our aim.” When we focus on things that matter for eternity, our “success” has far-reaching consequences.

Every believer has at one time or another done this, at least for awhile. But it is easy to slip back into old performance-based habits, and just call them by a different name.

For example, we decide to follow Christ. We have a revelation, a turning. We have come to accept that not only is God real, but He truly rewards those who genuinely seek Him. But somewhere along the way, we have lost the vibrancy of those first days of faith, and we are back to the grind. It might be a different grind, but grind it is. Instead of sharing our faith or time, or money, or energy because we have been led by God to do so, we do so out of duty, guilt, or fear. Or if we don’t do these things we feel guilty because we “aren’t doing more.” We find ourselves in a different kind of competition, with a different kind of goal– to be a professional Christian—The Best. And if we are honest with ourselves, we do it to remain a “member in good standing” with whatever Christian community to whom we might be attached.

We are not alone in this. Since the first generation of believers, people have succumbed to the temptation to take matters back into their own hands, and revert to rules and regulations instead of being guided by God. This is what Paul referred to in the first part of 1 Corinthians 13: “I can speak with the tongue of men and angels,” Paul says, “but if I have not love, I am nothing.”

We must choose to remain free
We must vigilantly guard our freedom in Christ, and resist the temptation to reduce a life of following God to a set of rules. God simply doesn’t work that way. He is consistent in His character but unpredictable in his methods. We must remain committed to Him first, not bound to a standard or a norm, or we slide into the pit of shoulds and coulds all over again.

It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1

Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. John 8:36

Share with us: How are you choosing to remain free? We would love to hear from you.

Recent posts: Beginning With The End In Mi nd: Goal Series – Part II, Taking Aim: Goal Series – Part I,

Beginning With The End In Mind: Goal Series- Part 2

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by Lydia Floren

We have three sons, who all played sports at various stages while growing up, and we quickly learned that youth sports were not only competitive for children, but even more so for parents. When our son made a great play, we would get more high fives from other parents in the stands than our kids would from their teammates. When there was a victory, there was as much or more cheering on the sidelines as there was on the field. (Of course at the early stages, the main reason the players were cheering at the end of the game is because it was time for treats! Aaaah! Those were the days!)

So how does a parent cope with the temptation to be drawn into this ultra-competitive environment? And how does one then teach their child to keep things in perspective? Well, I could write a whole book on this (I made many mistakes) but a couple questions really helped me keep my feet on the ground through the whole kids-in-sports thing:

“Is my child likely to be in a professional athlete?”
“Does he have that drive, that desire, and that amount of natural talent?
“Is that the way I see God leading him?”

I asked myself these question repeatedly over the years, and my answer was invariably “no.” (Sorry, guys.) If most kids aren’t destined for ESPN highlights, the next question is obvious:

“Why should kids even participate in organized sports?”

What was the goal, the aim of that activity?
If it wasn’t to get him a scholarship to a Division I school on the way to a pro contract deal with commercials, what was and is the point?

Unfortunately for many of us parents, the answer might be more about us than about them. Be honest, sideliners. At some point or some level we have all enjoyed basking in the glow of our kids’ successes, not because of what it says about them, but what it says about us: “you must be a good parent because your kid is a great sportsman.” (How warped is that?)

There are many good reasons for enrolling your kids in organized sports that have nothing to do with grooming them for a professional career. (Years later I continue to see, long after their playing days were over, the great things my sons still carry with them from their playing days.) Here are a few great reasons to have a child in organized sports: physical fitness, learning how to be a team member, being a part of a group, learning discipline, hard work, excellence, selflessness, honesty, restraint, self-esteem, working with good and bad coaches [translate bosses].

Organized sports teach kids how to lose, to win, to encourage, to stay positive, to be consistent, to do the job you have been assigned, to lead, to follow. I could go on. None of these things in any way requires that your child be a standout performer on the fast-track to the pros. In fact, having that star distinction can hamper him/her from gleaning many of these benefits.

What is success?
I am getting to a point here. What is success? Making a bunch of money and having a body that doesn’t work well for the last half of your life? Risking life-altering injury for a few moments of glory? Spending all your college days on the field or in the pool instead of exploring your many other interests and abilities?

How does God view success? What would he consider a worthy aim in life? Jesus was quite clear on this point:

“Love the Lord your god with all your heart, mind, soul and strength. And love your neighbor as yourself.”

Or as Paul put it in 1 Corinthians 14:1:

“Make love your aim.”

Now that is a goal worth aiming for.

Share with us: How do you decide and review goals? We would love to hear from you.

Recent posts: Taking Aim: Goal Series – Part I, A Note In Your Lunchbox, To Be, To-Do To Be

Taking Aim – Goal Series: Part I

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by Lydia Floren

Even though our beloved Packers missed the Super Bowl by a hair’s breath, we will be part of the football faithful watching the big game this year. We watch a lot of football at our house. So the Super Bowl is an event rivaling the importance of Thanksgiving or Christmas, no matter who is playing.

In fact, you could consider us a football family. Football lore and stats are often bantered about our house. My husband Andrew is fond of mentioning that Drew Brees, the quarterback for the New Orleans Saints, is more accurate than a world class archer. Brees once took a challenge to see how many times he could hit an Olympic archery target at 20 yards throwing a football–he hit the bull’s-eye ten out of ten times. Check out the video.

That is crazy. How does he do that? Practice, certainly. But the first step in any skill is deciding where you want to go—identifying your target, and taking aim. Drew decided years ago he wanted to be a great quarterback, and he has been practicing his throws ever since.

Taking aim

There is a saying by Zig Ziglar that says, “If you aim at nothing, you are sure to hit it.” Another great saying is “A long journey begins with the first step.” if that is true, it makes sense that your first step of the rest of your life should be to figure out what you are aiming at in your life.

What are you aiming for in life?

What are you aiming for in life? What a great question to ask yourself as the New Year begins. Putting it another way: What drives your decisions? What are you focused on in life?

Are you even aiming at anything?

I think most of us are aiming at things, and usually these goals are based in core beliefs that we hold, and/or driven by needs we feel compelled to meet. But our beliefs and motives may not be obvious to us. In fact, we can be immobile, and still be aiming at something. Perfectionists have this down to an artform: we stop before we start, because we don’t BELIEVE there is any possibility of success. Here are a couple of examples:

You might believe that you are worthless, and have nothing to contribute. So you choose to not try.
Or you might believe that whatever you might attempt, it must be done “perfectly.” You might tell yourself: I can’t do anything right so I might as well not start.

Floating

Is it possible to live life without focus or aim? Maybe, but I doubt it. Some people truly seem to float through life. We all know people like this. Floaters are professional victims. Life “happens” to them. It is as if they have given up on themselves. They can be in a perpetual pity party, or just aimlessly floating along from one thing to another. Even though is seems like they don’t have any goals or focus, I believe they do, but it is rooted in a fixed false belief: they don’t have any power over themselves or their circumstances, or they care more about doing nothing than making a difference. Their goal is to do the least amount possible. They think doing nothing (except maybe complaining) is the path of least resistance, but it truly is not. Passivity carries much more problems and headaches than purposeful action, and leads to much greater misery. Floaters eventually float right over a waterfall, pitching them—and anyone with them– right out of the boat and into a torrent of churning water.

How to figure out what you are aiming at: Take a look at the past.

We are all aiming at something, whether we realize it or not. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, so if you want to know what is important to you–what you are currently aiming at in life–take a look at the past. How you spent your most important assets–time and money—is a great indicator of what has been important to you, and what will likely guide future decisions. This is relatively easy to do.

How to find out your main goal (s) for the past year:

1. Just pull out your checkbook and your calendar for the past week/month/year, and ask yourself: How did I spend my time? How did I spend my money?

Start with broad categories, and then estimate what percentage of your time and money was spent on each, or how many hours you spent on each. (Don’t get all OC about it. We are just getting ballpark figures here.) Here is an example and some possible categories (Make these as broad or narrow as you like.):
Time:
- Sleep (8 hours/day, 56 hours/week, 240 hours per month) 30% of the time
- Eating (2 hours/day) 6% of the time
- Internet/TV/video games
- Exercise
- Time with people (face to face or phone, not texting or internet)
- Work
- Chores
- Travel
- Prayer/worship/meditation
- Reading the Bible
- Reading
- Hobbies/Interests
- Childcare
- Volunteering
Money:
- Bills
- Housing
- Groceries
- Starbucks
- Out to eat
- Savings
- Presents (friends and family)
- Charity or similar giving
- Schooling
- Entertainment

2. Why? A very powerful question If you want to take this one step further, go to each of the categories (at least the most important ones) and ask yourself “Why?” three times:

For example: 30% of your time was spent sleeping.

Why? Because my body needs sleep to function properly.
Why? Because that is how my body is built.
Why? I want to be healthy and for my body to function optimally.

Asking why repeatedly helps you to drill down to your more basic motivations, which can uncover true or false assumptions, or assumptions that need to be challenged.

Do I need to sleep?
What amount of sleep is optimal for me?

(Of course most of us would agree that 8 hours of sleep in our day is a pretty good use of our time. But some areas might not be so clear.)

3. What has been your main goal?

Now look through your lists and your whys. What common themes are there? If you could summarize your life, what would you say your main focus or goal has been? Come up with 1-3 things. Now you have a much better idea of what you have been aiming at (if anything) in the past year, and, therefore, where you are likely to be focused in the coming year.

Is this really where you want to go?

So now comes the kicker question: Is this where you want to go? Why or why not?

For example: If you can see that your primary focus has been to get an education, ask yourself: Why are you doing this? And why are you studying this? Is this your ultimate aim in life? If not, what is? What led you to this decision? Is it a direction you still feel you need to go? Why? It may lead you to other questions: How much money DO you need to make? What kind of career ARE you supposed to have? Does it fit the set of gifts/talents God has given you, or is it just a means to a financial end? What beliefs or thought processes are guiding these choices?

When you start asking these type of questions, you are well on the road to figuring out not only what has guided your past choices, but consciously [as opposed to passively] choosing if this is the right way for you to continue in your future.

Share with us: What have you discovered as you examine your goals this year?

Recent posts: A Note In Your Lunchbox, To Be, To-Do To Be

It’s Not Just About You

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by Lydia Floren

A while back I wrote a blog It’s not about you or is it? Before we can turn our attention to loving others, we must first accept who we are, recognize our needs, and choose to allow God to meet our needs.

Two key parts of this process are:

Identifying faulty coping mechanisms or ways we have tried to meet these needs in the past.
Replacing these coping mechanisms with constructive habits that will make way for God to move in our lives and meet our needs.

Reminder: We all have needs.

Everyone has a need for food, shelter, but we also have needs that are in some ways deeper, needs for love and affection, a sense of identity and value, and belonging.

Coping mechanisms

And we all have developed habits—or ways of coping—in order to meet those needs. With some of these habits, we rely on ourselves. With others, we expect other people to meet our needs. Here are a few examples of coping mechanisms:

Grabbing what you can when you can: attention, love, stuff. Focusing on what you want, and not what god says you need. Calling wants needs.
Controlling things around you so that you can be comfortable and secure: our environment, relationships, and living by a rigid structure.
Denying that you have needs.
Escaping life by immersing yourself in TV, gaming, social media, alcohol or other means of escape.
Floating along, refusing to take responsibility for your life, your actions, or–even more telling—your inaction.
Expecting others to meet your needs. Relying on other people to make you happy. Assuming that anyone and everyone else’s job is to make you happy.
Assuming that your own happiness, comfort, and success is more important than someone else’s’, or that their happiness is more important than yours.

Replace these coping mechanisms. Living a life guided by God is living a life increasingly free of the faulty habits we have so carefully cultivated. In Psalm 139 David prays:

Search me Oh God, and know my heart. Try me and know my anxious thoughts. And see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way. Psalm 139: 23-24

Here are a few of God’s ways that can replace our coping mechanisms:

Giving. Keep what you will use, and give the rest away.
Letting go. Learning to rely on God to meet your needs and not yourself. The secret of being content in every situation, whether you have much or little.
Accepting your needs, and the importance that they are met.
Facing life, including its hard parts, knowing that you are not alone: God is with you and within you.
Owning your life. Quit playing the victim and accept responsibility, and that your decisions, as well as your indecisions, have consequences.
Releasing expectations. Hope in God, not people. God is the meeter of your needs, not other people. Sometimes He uses people, sometimes He doesn’t. But He often meets your needs in ways you don’t expect.
Recognizing that you are important, and everyone else is, too. Life isn’t a competition, it’s a collaboration.

Our needs are 100% met by Christ. Because of Him, we don’t have to hide, or hang on to anything or any person.

There is enough. There is more than enough. Our cup overflows.

And my God shall supply all of your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:19

Once we accept the truth of God’s provision, we can take our eyes off ourselves and give as God would have us give–live as God would have us live.

Share with us: What are you doing to overcome your unhealthy coping mechanisms? How are you making room to let God in?

To Be

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by Lydia Floren

In my last post, I talked about TO-DO lists, and the importance of BE-ing restored every day. That got me thinking: What are some great things to have on a TO BE list?

TO BE:

Be Restored. (see last week’s post for more on this)

“He [The Lord] makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul.” Psalm 23:2-3
Restore to me the joy of Your salvation And sustain me with a willing spirit. Psalm 51:12
I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and your joy may be filled. John 15:11

Be Cherished. You are fully known and completely loved. Not because of what you do, but because of who you are: a precious creation of God’s.

“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.” Jeremiah 31:3
You have enclosed me behind and before, and laid Your hand upon me. Psalm 139:5
I have called you by name; you are mine. Isaiah 43:1

Be Forgiven. There is no reason at all to keep carrying around regret and guilt and shame. Choose to receive God’s forgiveness, and forgive yourself.

All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God’s paths to follow our own. Yet the LORD laid on him the sins of us all. Isaiah 53:6
He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. Psalm 103:12
Blessed are those whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Romans 4:7

Be Free. Let go of worry, resentment, unforgiveness, expectations for yourself and others, old habits.

Now by “the Lord” is meant the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, freedom is enjoyed. 2 Cor. 3:17
For freedom did Christ set us free: stand fast therefore, and be not entangled again in a yoke of bondage. Galatians 5:1
Don’t judge, and you won’t be judged. Don’t condemn, and you won’t be condemned. Set free, and you will be set free. Luke 6:37
I run in the path of your commandments, for you have set my heart free. Psalm 119:32

Share with us: What’s on your TO Be list?

To-Do, To Be

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by Lydia Floren

I am a big list person, always have been. I have little scraps of “to-do’s” on sticky notes stuck around the kitchen, my office, in my purse, the car…I have learned a thing or two about myself in my years of list making.

One thing, I have learned, is that for me, the act of writing something down on a list helps me remember it, even if I never look at it again.
Another thing, I have discovered about myself, is that I am not a very good judge of time. (I know that shocks those of you that know me.) I tend to cram my to-do list with more tasks than I can reasonably accomplish, which means I am more likely to be frustrated and hurried as the day goes on.
A third thing, I have learned about myself, is that if I really want to remember to do stuff, I have to put the list somewhere obvious. My favorite location is the refrigerator, since I seem to love to go open the door every hour or so when I am home. (Why do I do that BTW? Do I think a magic fairy is going to deposit delicious calorie free food in there when I’m not looking?] If it is really, really, important that I remember something: I write a reminder on my hand. I learned from my kids.

I have also learned a few great habits in list making:

Have 3 to-do lists.
- General overall list, so you don’t forget stuff. This might have sub-categories like shopping, online, work, home, meal prep, etc., it could be written, or on your computer or phone.
- Weekly to-do list.
- Daily to-do list.
Schedule tasks from your to-do lists’ into your calendar. Once a week, look at your calendar, and your overall tasks, and jot down things that must be accomplished in the coming week. As much as possible, set aside time in the week to accomplish these tasks, and actually write them in your calendar.
Limit your daily TO-DO list to 5 or 6 items. This little habit has a great impact. It forces you to narrow down what is most important to accomplish in your day, and reigns in the temptation to expect yourself to do more than can reasonably be accomplished. And that reduces stress, worry, hurry, and frustration, and increases a sense of accomplishment.

My daily to-do list always begins with this:

1. Be Restored

Be Restored: It is kind of ironic that my daily TO-DO list begins with something TO BE. As I choose to be quiet, to be available, to meditate on God’s word, and be attuned to what He is saying to me, I am connecting my heart and spirit with the one Person in the universe who knows me completely and loves me more than I can imagine. In this process, He restores my mind, emotions, spirit, and even my body. He forgives, He gives perspective, He reminds me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and that He is taking care of me. He encourages me to release the past, move forward, and to enjoy the day.

No, I haven’t (and likely won’t) give up my TO-DO lists, but I have learned this: the most important thing, I can DO in my day, is TO BE restored. I can really tell if I miss it.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul. Psalm 23:1-3

Read my meditation on Psalm 23:1-3 or check out the Belovedlove Psalm 23 Bracelet.

Share with us: What tips do you have for list making? How do you keep things in perspective?

Oil of Joy

From Streams in the Desert, by L.B. Cowman:

“There is an old story of an elderly man who always carried a little can of oil with him everywhere he went. When he would go through a door that squeaked, he would squirt oil on the hinges. If he encountered a gate that was hard to open, he would oil the latch. And so he went through life, lubricating all the difficult places, making it easier for all those who came after him. People called the man eccentric, strange, and crazy, but he was steady on, often refilling his can of oil when it was nearly empty, and oiling all the difficult places he found.

“In this world, there are many lives that painfully creak and grate as they go about their daily work. Often it seems that nothing goes right with them and that they need lubricating with ‘the oil of joy’ (Psalm 45:7), gentleness, or thoughtfulness.

“Do you carry your own can of oil with you? … A pleasant word is a bright ray of sunshine on a saddened heart. Therefore give others the sunshine and tell Jesus the rest.”.

Joy

Every day we have opportunities to lighten another’s load by sharing a word of encouragement, a laugh, or a simple act of kindness. Ask God to help you be aware of opportunities to bless someone today. Be on the lookout for ways to soothe someone’s heart with a little “oil of joy.”

Whether you happen to be on the giving or receiving end of such a blessing, we would love to hear from you! Please share with us!