Author Archives: Lydia Floren

Love Is… Part 1: Three Weddings and a Funeral

Love Is…

Part 1: Three Weddings and a Funeral, by Lydia Floren

Have you ever attended a funeral where you pulled out a piece of paper and started taking notes? Weird, right? Well, I can remember one time when I did just that. I was attending the memorial service for Mary Markquart, the mother in law of my dear friend, Terri. About halfway through the remarks, I grabbed a pen from the pew in front of me and started jotting things down on my program. By the end, I had filled every available space with my scribbles.

Let me back up.

Three years earlier, Terri Markquart, called to tell me that her mother-in-law was just diagnosed with ovarian cancer, a grim diagnosis with limited life expectancy.

Many people, including Terri and I, were praying for Mary and her family. From time to time, Terri would give me an update. By God’s strength, Mary survived surgery and several rounds of chemo, allowing her more time – more good quality time – with her loved ones, than anyone dared hope for. Mary was able to attend the weddings of two of her grandchildren, and finally, in her last days, she witnessed the nuptials of her only daughter. As her time approached, which was remarkably free of pain, she was able to say good-bye to everyone she most cared about. And ,when she was unable to talk, she could still say “I love you.” With those words on her lips–“I love you“– she slipped into the next life as graciously as she had traveled through this one.

At Mary’s funeral, people remarked, not as much on Mary’s accomplishments –though there were many–, but more on her character. They shared who she was, not what she had done: Mary was gracious, kind, and compassionate. She was generous, hospitable, and interested in people. And she was a person of deep faith.

The last person to speak was her minister. “I am reading from Mary’s underlined patched-together Bible,” he said as he held it up. “One passage that Mary clearly loved was 1 Corinthians 13:4-8:

‘Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.’ ”

“Believe it or not,” he continued, “as much as these words describe Mary’s life, she did not mark up these verses in her Bible nearly as much as she did the first few words of the next chapter.”

He paused, and then smiled.

“1 Cor 14:1 begins with this little phrase: ‘Make love your aim.’

“This sums up Mary’s life. She lived her life focused on love.”

What does it mean to make love your goal in life?

God’s Plan A: Planning Series Part 1

2 Replies

God’s Plan A

by Lydia Floren

“God has a plan for your life.” For many people, this is a reassuring thought. But not for me. This idea of God having a plan for me has always been a little unsettling. Because I know how many ways I can screw thing up. For example, what if I think I’ve figured out God’s plan for me, but I misunderstand, and unintentionally set out in the wrong direction? Does that mean the train has left the station? That I am now consigned to live the rest of my life on a backup plan? Plan B?

And even if I feel like I’ve “gotten the memo,” and have a good idea of what His plan is, what if I just decide one day – as I’m prone to do – that I’m going to ditch His plan and go my own way? Am I on to plan C, or D, ….or Z?

Thankfully, God gets us. He knows we mess up. Regularly. He understands that we don’t always hear Him clearly. And he knows that we can wander way off base, out of ignorance, or just from pure orneriness. If – no,when – we do, He doesn’t relegate us to life in the loser’s bracket, to live a kind of a cosmic, “consolation prize” existence.

He just keeps on loving us, reaching out to us, calling us back to the one and only plan He has for us. His Plan A.

God’s Plan A

So what exactly is God’s Plan A?

A good life. “For I know the plans that I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11
A full life. Jesus said, “I have come in order that you might have life – life in all its fullness. “ John 10:10
A life of loving, and being loved. “If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us.” 1 John 4:12

Who wouldn’t want that kind of life?

Have you gotten off track? Have you quit listening for God’s direction, or maybe just decided to go your own way for awhile? Well, quit messing around and get back on track. Claim the good life, the overflowing life, the life of love God has planned for you.

Come back to God’s Plan A.

Discovering Paris – Breathe Series, Part 3

2 Replies

Discovering Paris

by Lydia Floren

Paris has long been on my bucket list. So, last year in celebration of our 30^th wedding anniversary, Andrew and I finally set aside a week to visit this famous place. We stayed at an Airbnb, a 200+ year old walkup apartment in Marais, right in the heart of the city. From this prime spot, under the guidance of our dear friend Jenn, we proceeded to take in the sites and sounds of Paris. We breakfasted on quiche at the patisserie across the street. We strolled down cobblestone streets, and we sipped spiced wine at sunset on Mont Marche We peeked through a clock-face of the Musee D’Orsay and snacked on crepes from a roadside vendor. We crossed the Seine via the Pont Neuf, and gazed down the Hall of Mirrors in Versailles. And, we smiled (back) at Mona Lisa.

And, of course, we (mostly me) took lots of pictures.

Paris truly exceeded my expectations. But I never expected that it would change me the way it did. After being there a few days I started to see that In Paris, folks didn’t seem to be in a hurry. Despite the December chill, hundreds of people would sit for hours in outside cafes chatting while they sipped coffee or a glass of wine. No one gave more than a passing glance to their cellphones. I don’t remember seeing a TV. Anywhere. As I watched the way Parisians lived, I began to see how isolated my life had become, how isolating our culture tends to be. And rushed.

Parisians by their example, reminded me to live my life more relaxed, more connected and less distracted.

The real world

But Paris is not the real world, at least not my world. In that world I have responsibilities: houses to clean, jobs to do, children to tend. It didn’t take me long to plunge again into that Life. But often in the ordinary days I would find myself drifting back back to our time in Paris, and I would feel my heart smile. I would remember again that finding joy in life is not about what I do as much as how I do it.

And I would remind myself that

There is time, if I will take it, to linger over dinner, share a laugh, snap a picture.

There is resolve, if I will use it, to turn off my cellphone and clear my over-busy schedule.

There is opportunity, if I will grab it, to savor the moment, to soak in the beauty, and—most of all—to enjoy the relationships I have been given along the way.

Paris….it’s been awhile. My heart still smiles.

For more, read Breathe Series Part 1, and Breathe Series Part 2

Breathing In God’s Presence

2 Replies

Breathing In God’s Presence: Breathe Series, Part 2

by Lydia Floren

I eat fast. Too fast. I’ve mentioned this before 😊. When I eat quickly, I do so for one reason: so that I will no longer feel hungry. I get that. But in order to “experience” a meal (as I think most foodies must do) I’ve learned it is important to slow down. When I do, I can appreciate the tastes that cross my palate, the combination of flavors and textures. And eating slowly gives me the opportunity to enjoy my dinner companions. I have found that when I “dine” like this, the whole experience – delicious and delightful – becomes imprinted in my memory. So, whenever I think about it, it brings a smile to my face.

That is what meditating on God’s word is.

Meditating?

I know, I know. I’m just like you. When I think of meditation, I envision eyes closed, legs crossed, elbows on knees, fingers touching, humming to new-age music. But Christian meditation is far different. It is not emptying the mind but filling it with the truth – and the Presence – of the One God.

When we focus on one or two verses, or even one or two words from the Bible we are able savor the truth offered to us. For example, a few years ago my friend Debra was going through a very difficult time. She told me later that these nine words were her lifeline: “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.”

Here are links to some other examples of meditation:

Meditation

Polishing

Christian meditation involves spending some time in solitude and silence, thinking about just a few verses, or part of one verse. When we do this, we experience God’s presence and taste His fruit. And that experience lingers in our memory. Every time it comes to mind, it lifts our hearts and makes us smile.

So take time every day to partake of the rich meal God has set before you. Take a bite, and then another. Relish the food and the conversation. Enjoy the company of The Most Amazing Person in the Universe, the one who knows you best and loves you most.

“My cup overflows.” Psalm 23

Breathe. Just Breathe. (Breathe Series, Part 1)

1 Reply

**Breathe. Just Breathe. (*Breathe Series, Part 1)***

by Lydia Floren

Depression took me by surprise. I’d never struggled with that particular problem. Anxiety, yes. But the overwhelming feeling of gloom and doom, the closing in, even the belief that the world might be a better place if you weren’t in it? That I had not experienced, at least until last year.

A shroud of sadness

At first, I didn’t even realize what was happening. It would come and go. A feeling of hopelessness. A lack of energy. Unexplained tears. Even after I connected the dots and figured out I was depressed, it took me awhile to pinpoint what might be triggering it. For me it was light—or rather, the lack of light. A particularly overcast summer introduced a shroud of sadness into my life. It clung to me as the days grew shorter and shorter, near-paralyzing me as its tenacles tightened.

Breathe. Just breathe.

How does one survive such oppression? Such a threat to one’s vitality? I know as a physician (and now, through experience) that there are lots of things that can help: a special light in the morning, medication to change the brain chemistry, regular exercise, a healthy diet, positive people, connecting with God every day.

But some days are just hard. A friend who has struggled with depression for years once explained it like this:

“Some days you just breathe. All you are supposed to do that day—all you CAN do—is take your next breath.”

Breathe. Just breathe.

You may be depressed, or stressed, or overwhelmed. You may be blindsided with anger or pain or hopelessness or fear. And some times, some days, nothing seems to help.

God understands.

God understands. God doesn’t expect nearly as much from us as we expect from ourselves. But because we live in a performance-based culture, it hard for us to wrap our minds around that fact. It is difficult for us to grasp that our true worth–our value to God, to ourselves, to the world–is not based in what we do, but in who we are.

Our true worth–our value to God, to ourselves, to the world–is not based in what we do, but in who we are.

Once that truth sinks in, it changes everything. We can relax. It is easier to accept that some days, what we are supposed to do—and all we are called to do—, is to breathe. Just breathe.

PS: Here’s a great song I’ve been singing lately:

Breathe, by Jonny Diaz https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnjeMwxFuBA

A-mazing, by Lydia Floren

Getting back to A-mazing

Life is like a maze, isn’t it? It is full of twist and turns, often taking us directions we don’t anticipate. Sometimes it feels more confusing – or even frightening – than awe-inspiring. We’re not always sure which way to go next, or even if we’re headed in the right direction. How do we get back to a-mazing? How do we let the worry go?

Remember

We get back to a-mazing by remembering that we have

A map. The word of God to guide us.
A beaten path. Many others, who are living a God-guided life, who can share their wisdom, and help us find our way.
Good company. The God of the universe, the Creator of the maze, is with us every step of the way. He’s got our back, keeping us safe, and tugging at our elbow when we get off course. He magnifies our joy, constantly highlighting the extraordinary in our ordinary lives.

Enjoy

So today, enjoy those a-mazing moments. A bent-over belly laugh with a friend. An early morning fog blanketing a snowy field. The satisfaction of a job well done.

Give thanks

Today, give thanks for the a-mazing gifts you’ve been given. The privilege of being alive. The encouragement of people along the way.

Give thanks for the company of God, your Loving Father, who’s guiding you safely through the maze of life.

A-mazing.

Polishing the Mirror, by Lydia Floren

5 Replies

Have you ever been chugging along on your road of life, and suddenly find yourself flat on your back? I certainly have. One minute I can be tooling along, life seems to be going well, and the next, I am in an emotional tailspin. My self-confidence (and God-confidence) plummets. I then land in a pit of yuck. My wheels spin. My windshield is splashed with mud. All I see, all I feel is the negative – failure, hurt, loneliness, regret. What happened? I don’t usually know right away.

It is funny what brings it on, this pain, this darkening of the glass. It can be pretty random. Once, it was when I discovered I wasn’t invited to a wedding. (I know, right?) The funny thing is, I didn’t even want to go. But some friends were going, talking about it, making plans. And we were not included.

In a flash, my emotions were highjacked. My heart lurched off the road of contentment into a pit of despair. We have been excluded from other events, I remember. And then the scab from earlier wounds is ripped off … sitting by myself in the lunchroom…. alone waiting for the bus…. the only one in science class without a lab partner. My heart again feels that raw pain, rejection, loneliness. And then, Satan hisses these words, in a voice remarkably like my own “I don’t belong anywhere. I am not wanted. Or known. Or loved.”

Later that day, we went to church, but being in a big group where I knew almost no one, just reinforced that sense of detachment, of not belonging. I didn’t even know what was wrong. I just knew I couldn’t stay. So I left. And the rest of the evening, I withdrew into my woundedness, feeding it with chocolate and chips and Facebook and meaningless television.

Polishing

The next morning, as I was praying, I was reminded: Yes, now I see through a mirror dimly…but I can see something – a good bit, actually.

And I begin polishing the mirror.

Thanks

I start with giving thanks.

Not for this dark pain, deep within, that surfaces from time to time. But, thanking God that it surfaces, so that He can shine the light of His truth on it, and heal it a little more, or even altogether.

Truth

I recite the truth I know:

About myself: I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Cherished. Unique and precious. A chosen and adopted child of the God of the Universe. I belong to Him. And He lives in me. I am never alone. Always beloved.
About God: He is 100% good. Strong. He knows me better than I know myself, and loves me more than I can imagine. And His love never, ever fails. He knows my needs before I ask Him, and meets my needs for identity, value, belonging, focus, and safety. I have nothing to fear.
About the journey, and the plans He and I have prayerfully made. And what I have learned so far.

Meditation

I meditate on some favorite verses.

This is the day that the Lord has made. Let’s celebrate! Psalm 118:24
Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. Psalm 23:1-3
And yet, I am always with you. you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel. And afterward, You will take me into glory. Psalm 73:23-24

On the Road Again

Before long, God “pulls me out of the miry pit, and places my feet upon a rock.”

I pause for a little while, letting my emotions settle, reorienting to the path I am committed to travel. I take a deep breath, turning my face again to the future. And then I grab His hand, and take a step. And another one.

And I am on my way again.

Now, a little more whole. Now, seeing a little clearer, or a lot.

Mirrors and Wisdom by Lydia Floren

2 Replies

For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I shall know fully just as I also have been fully known. 1 Cor 13:12

Two thousand years ago, a mirror was a highly polished piece of metal, maybe bronze or silver. Because it was hand-hammered and buffed, a person’s reflection in it would be imperfect – there would be distortions, and probably some dark spots. (Not that most of us really want total accuracy, when we look at a mirror, but that’s beside the point.) In those days, if you wanted a more accurate idea of what you actually looked like, you would need to step into the brightest light you could find and view your reflection from several different angles.

When Paul said “now we see through a mirror dimly” he was comparing our limited understanding of life/the world/our situation with the distorted reflection that one saw when looking at piece of polished metal.

Here’s the Amplified version of 1 Corinthians 13:12:

For now we are looking in a mirror that gives only a dim (blurred) reflection of reality as in a riddle or enigma, but then [when perfection comes] we shall see in reality and face to face! Now I know in part (imperfectly); but then I shall know and understand fully and clearly, even in the same manner as I have been fully and clearly known and understood [by God].

None of us have a clear picture of what is going on in the world – or even in our own lives. Our reflection is incomplete. There are blank spots and distortions. In order to get the best possible understanding, we need to inspect our situations from a variety of viewpoints, and in the brightest light we can find – the light of God’s truth.

Even in the best of circumstances, our vision is limited.

But the great news is, God’s is not. He sees everything and, even better, He understands what it all means. He knows how it all connects. From His perspective, He can guide us along the wisest path forward. All we have to do is ask.

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. James 1:5 NIV

Opening Doors

by Lydia Floren

It is easy to drift away from spending quality time with God. Some mornings, it seems I just go through the motions of spending time with God – present in body, but not always in spirit. We all do that sometimes, don’t we, especially when caffeine is in short supply or the baby has an ear infection? But when that time with Him get shortchanged, day after day, it isn’t long before we just stop meeting with Him altogether. From there, at least for me, things go downhill pretty quickly. Peace, hope, patience gradually diminish. Hurry and worry claim front and center. And joy? Well joy becomes a distant memory.

Open up, ancient gates! Open up, ancient doors, and let the King of glory enter. Psalm 24:7

Psalm 24:7-8 reminds me that nothing is more important – or more strategic – than letting the God of the universe into my heart, and truly connecting with Him.

Who is the King of glory? The LORD, strong and mighty; the LORD, invincible in battle. Psalm 24:8

Think about it: we have the most powerful being, the VIP of the universe waiting for us, wanting to connect with us every day. To give us insight and wisdom and encouragement before we head out into the field of battle. And, to fill our hearts with peace and joy.

Wouldn’t we do well to make that time with Him our highest priority?

May we always throw open the door of our hearts to the living God.

The Moment Called Today

1 Reply

The Moment Called Today, by Lydia Floren

The last time (OK, the only time) Andrew and I went to Hawaii, we went to a medical conference on the island of Maui, a land of extreme contrasts. Mountain and sea, lava and jungle, sunshine and rain. Maui is a unique place.

One morning we were drinking coffee at the meeting place, and chatting with some friends. They told us about a great snorkeling spot on the north shore that they’d heard about. It was little hard to get to, but supposedly worth the trouble. So we decided to play hooky for the rest of the day. We went home, gathered some stuff. They gave us the directions, and we would meet up at the water. After a short drive in our rented convertible Andrew and I parked, gathered our things, and then set out to hike the rest of the way in.

An unusual path

Our path took us through a forest of bamboo. The dense foliage seemed to close in and shut us off from the rest of the world. Surrounded by these towering stalks, we had no view of our destination, and the trail was so curvy that at times that we couldn’t see but a few feet in front of us. And even though the surf crashed nearby, all we could hear was the breeze swishing through leaves. For a half hour or so we enjoyed a hushed stroll through these shadowy walls of cane, and then emerged to a breathtaking landscape of soaring cliffs and crashing sea. One minute we could see for 5 feet, yet the next we were gazing for 50 miles.

Uncertainty

In this life, there is a lot of not seeing. We often don’t know where our journey will take us, and what we will encounter along the way. We can either chafe against this not-knowing, or focus on the beauty before us, right now, as we travel along.

Peace

When I choose to fret or worry about what is (or isn’t) coming next, I miss the moment called Today. I forget that, whether I see clearly or not, I am still safe. Still loved. God is still guiding. When I do remember these things, I can be at peace in the middle of uncertainty, resting in God’s arms, trusting His wisdom and leading. I am able to enjoy the moment called Today.

Joy

Choose to live in the moment called Today. Choose to be content in your circumstances. When your view is not clear, and even when it is, savor the beauty of life you have been given today.

No need to fret. Eventually you will reach a place you can see for miles, a place that will truly take your breath away.

“I will lead the blind by a way they do not know, In paths they do not know I will guide them. I will make darkness into light before them and rugged places into plains…” Isaiah 42:6

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” Phil 4:4