Monthly Archives: July 2018

A Dead Turkey

by Lydia Floren

I’ve never seen a dead turkey before.

Wait, I take that back. I’ve seen hundreds of dead turkeys. In the grocery freezer section, right before Thanksgiving.

But, I’ve never seen a dead turkey like this.

Sometime between morning chores and afternoon errands, this guy appeared on the edge of our lawn.

I walked up to him. halfway thinking he’d get up and run off.

Nope.

I made some noise, nudged him with my toe.

Nothing.

Then, I noticed the flies buzzing around.

Hmmmm. Maybe he wasn’t just sleeping.

I texted my husband.

I said, “I think we have a dead turkey in our front yard.” And then, “I’m not sure I’ve ever said that sentence before.”

I sent him a picture.

Although I am not sure, in retrospect, why he would want a picture of a dead turkey on his phone. (Sort of like the time someone texted me a picture of their kid’s poop. There are some lines that just need to be drawn. And feces, and probably dead turkeys, are on the other side of those lines.)

I went off to run my errands, hoping, though not terribly optimistic, that the big bird would wake up and move along while I was gone. Not sure what I would do if he didn’t. Didn’t really want a rotting turkey on the lawn.

When I got to the beauty shop and told my hairdresser about it, she suggested calling animal control, although I wasn’t sure why they would want him. He wasn’t really a rabies risk. But maybe he had some strange disease that they were testing for.

When I got back home, the turkey was gone.

Wow.

Maybe he was just napping. And woke up and wandered off.

I walked in the house and found my husband, Andrew, on the back porch. He was leaning on the rail with his B.B. pistol. On the lookout for crows and bunnies. (They eat my flowers.)

“Did you see the turkey?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you do something with him?”

“Yeah.”

“What did you do?” (Surely he didn’t put him in the trash can. The trashmen didn’t come for another week.)

“I got a shovel, picked him up, and threw him over the back fence, down the hill.”

“Where?”

“Over by that big tree on the right, about halfway down. If you walk over that way, you can see him.”

“No thanks. I’m good.

Thank you very much for getting rid of him.

You are my hero.”

“I’d rather be your hero than your dead turkey.”

Do you have a dead turkey in your yard? A disappointment? A grudge? A sin you keep beating yourself up for? An offense, or wrong you need to apologize for? Don’t wait around for it to vanish on its own. Do something about it. Take a shovel. Pick it up. And throw it out, so its rotting flesh doesn’t stink up your life.

And then move on.

Do not call to mind the former things. Or ponder things in the past. Behold I will do something new. Will you not be aware of it?

The Key Ingredient – Planning Series, Part 4

by Lydia Floren

Last week, we talked about the fact that everyone approaches planning a little differently. Some are Perfectionists, others Minimalists or No-Planners. And most of us are Nomadic planners – we plan differently based on which situation we are in. No matter what kind of planner you are, without prayer, your plans will not be all they could be. The best plans always include one key ingredient: prayer.

Planning without prayer is like making bread without yeast: things just don’t turn out the way you thought they would.

And, when I talk about prayerful planning, I don’t mean forming a strategy and then asking God to put His stamp of approval on it. That is like mixing bread dough, and then sprinkling yeast on the loaves right before you slide them in the oven. In order for prayer to be effective in your planning process, it must be in the mix, right from the start.

Think about it. Doesn’t it make sense to ask the Ultimate Life Coach, the One Person who knows you best and loves you most, what His perspective is? What He thinks your plans should be? Doesn’t it seem logical to give veto power to the only person in the universe that knows the future? That can help you avert disaster by aborting your plans? After all, He is the one who said:

I know the plans that I have for you. Plans for welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11.

Whether you are Perfectionist, a Nomadic, a Minimalist or a No-Plan Planner, your plan will always go better with prayer. And here is an extra bonus, the cherry on top that will absolutely revolutionize your whole planning process: after you set goals and make plans, keep on praying about those plans. Ann Ortlund, in her book Disciplines of a Beautiful Woman, said that she saw a big difference in how many of her goals and plans were realized, after she started praying about them on a regular basis.

So plan away. However it works for your life and your personality. Just remember to discuss it all with God, and keep on talking to Him. Keep bringing your plans to Him, asking for His insight and direction and wisdom in how to focus on, carry out, and even adjust, your strategy. And then take His advice.

Prayer is the key ingredient to great plans.

In fact, prayer is the best plan of all.

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Plan Is Not a 4-Letter Word. Not Really. (Planning Series, Part 3)

Plan Is Not a 4-Letter Word. Not Really.

by Lydia Floren

Everyone plans. But not everyone sees themselves as a “planner.” Usually, we think of “planners” as OC perfectionist types. (This is a little like me, at least the former me. I am a perfectionist-in-recovery, in case you forgot.) But whether we realize it or not, we are all planners. We all make plans. We just have different ways of doing it.

For example, there are the Perfectionist Planners. These people (OK, we) often construct elaborate, detailed moment-by-moment plans for their (our) lives. And, often do so for those around us as well. (Sorry, guys.) We have extensive to-do lists and specific timetables. And high expectations. (Again, sorry)

The Minimalist Planners plan for survival. They do what they have to do to keep things going. They are focused on paying the bills, getting the schoolwork done, finishing the project. A Minimalist Planner might have a life plan as simple as this:

Monday thru Friday: Get up. Take a shower. Get dressed. Go to work. Come home. Eat. Go to sleep.

Saturday and Sunday: Catch up from what you didn’t get done Monday through Friday. Maybe go to church. Take a nap.

Finally there are the No-Plan Planners. No-Plan Planners try to live life as it comes. They never set their alarm. Heck, they probably don’t even own an alarm clock. They get up when they wake up, and do whatever strikes their fancy. But what No-Plan Planners don’t realize is that choosing not to plan is, in fact, a plan. Not a very sustainable one (unless someone is paying all your bills), but a plan nevertheless.

Most of us are Nomadic Planners. By that I mean that we shift from one planning approach to another, depending on the situation. For example, in my medical practice, I tend to be a Perfectionist Planner. The rest of the time I am more of a Minimalist. But when I go on vacation, I am a No-Plan Planner.

No judgment here. There is no right or wrong way to plan. Everyone approaches life from a unique perspective, and so we all will have our own unique way of planning. And even though we have our usual way of approaching planning, that might change based on what we are doing, or where we are in our time of life.

But, I will say this: I sure hope if I need a brain surgeon, he or she is an OC Perfectionist Planner, at least in the O.R.!

Everyone makes plans.

Planning is a necessary, integral part of life.

No matter what our approach to planning, just understand: plan is not a 4-sletter word. Not really.

For which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it? Luke 14:28

What kind of planner are you?

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Halftime Adjustments – Planning Series Part 2

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Halftime Adjustments

Planning Series Part 2

by Lydia Floren

My husband Andrew and I are big football fans, and though I am by no means an expert, I have learned a few things about the game over the years. Mostly by osmosis. Sitting on cold metal benches, trying to figure out what exactly a defensive end does. Chatting about strategy and strengths with fellow parents as we sell things for fundraisers or serve up food to sweaty players. Listening to my husband and three sons rehash games at the dinner table. Playing tag football with the kids in the front yard. (Well, until a career ending knee injury sidelined me a few years ago.)

I also learned the game by asking a lot of questions from people who know more than I do. (So far, Aaron Rodgers hasn’t responded to my emails, but it’s OK. I understand. He’s a little busy right now.)

One of my favorite things about watching football, is seeing how things change in the second half. The coaches can spend weeks developing a sound game plan, and drilling it into their team. But usually, as the first half unfolds, things don’t go exactly according to plan. Maybe a key player gets hurt. Or the opposing quarterback is having the best game of his life. For whatever reason, the team’s carefully crafted strategy is not working as anticipated. Coaches know this. Anticipate it, even. And they have a plan in place to change the plan.

It’s called a half-time adjustment.

At the half, all those guys that have been communicating through their headsets (screaming is a form of communication isn’t it?) get together. They talk about what’s working, what’s not, and what could be done differently. And then, they craft an amended plan for the second part of the game. These changes, I learned, are called “halftime adjustments.” Well, I don’t know if “halftime adjustment” is an official moniker in the NFL playbook, but I know that’s what it is called. And everybody does it.

So why am I thinking about football in July, when there are absolutely NO GAMES on TV unless you count grainy reruns of Joe Namath? And yes, I actually know who that is.

Here’s why: July 1 is the halfway point in the calendar year. And so July is the month I make my own halftime adjustments to my year’s game plan. In January I write down some goals and plans for coming year. Mid-year I set aside some time to review the first 6 months – what’s working, what needs to change. And then I pray – I consult with God the Ultimate Life Coach – about what adjustments need to be made for the second half.

Why half-time adjustments are necessary

Why do this? Because life happens. We all know that things rarely go as anticipated. Maybe you lose your job, or move cross country, or find out your child has a learning disability, or a special gift. Or maybe you have an illness that has sapped your strength, or are faced with a big decision that took you by surprise.

Or, maybe you discover that your plans are just not realistic. That happens to me a lot. I tend to overestimate how much time I have, and underestimate how much time or energy something will take. A perfectionist, even a perfectionist-in-recovery like me, can make some pretty elaborate plans that have little chance of success. For example:

eat nothing but vegetables, ever.
exercise 1.5 hrs. per day. Every day.
read all my medical journals before the weekend.
finish writing the last ½ of my book in the next 4 weeks.

It doesn’t take long to fail. And that starts a downward spiral of negative self-talk that can be paralyzing.

So my midyear halftime adjustments are a lifesaver. It forces me to face my limitations and accept that I cannot do as much as I think I can – or do it as quickly as I would like. It helps me to get back on track, and allows me to give myself a break. And it injects a little reality into my overall planning process, so that next week/month/year, I can come up with a more achievable set of goals and strategies. And, I don’t abandon planning altogether.

What do things look like at halftime for you? have you set unrealistic goals for yourself? Or drifted off course from those things you really want to focus on this year? Are there things that need to change? Expectations, and plans, that need to be revised?

Just do it. Take a little time out to reflect and pray. And adjust. I guarantee you will be glad you did.

Want more on planning? See:

God’s Plan A: Planning Series Part One

4 Steps to Planning the Year

Pray Plan Pray