Tag Archives: Thankfulness

Complaint and Contentment Series – Part 2: From Bitter to Better

Yesterday I was in a bad mood. I don’t mean a “pity party” kind of bad. I mean a “don’t mess with me” kind of bad. The kind of mood where everyone just stays out of your way, because they don’t want to get their head snapped off. Do you ever have one of those days? Where you can’t find the good in anything?

Is there a way to get from bitter to better? To shift our attitude away from toxic negative thinking into a more healthy, positive frame of mind?

When you are having a bad day, if you are praying at all, think about the kinds of things you are saying to God. Why does everything have to be so hard? Why can’t things just run smoothly, the way I want them to? Why does this ___ have a driver‘s license?

We don’t really want answers. We just want to vent. To express our displeasure with God’s way of handling the world. (Implying, of course, that we could do it better.)

But what if, as we are racing along on this runaway train of sourpuss-ness, we decide to do something different—totally unexpected.

What if we just start giving thanks?

Yeah right, Lydia. What world are you living in? What could you possibly thank God for when things are going south? What does that even look like?

I know, I know. It seems contrary to our circumstances–and our frame of mind–to say “thank you.” But just try eking out one little prayer of thanksgiving. Something like (don’t laugh), “thank you, God, that I am not always in such a bad mood.” Or like my husband Andrew likes to say, “thank you that I am not in a prison in southeast Asia.” Come on. Admit it. Doesn’t that make you smile just a little bit?

OK, maybe a little.

OK now that you’ve broken the ice, what other things can you thank God for on this no-good-very-bad day?

Thank You, God…

–that this won’t last forever.
–that You are at work, even when I can’t see it.
–that You love me and are with me, no matter what kind of mood I am in. I am not alone.
–that You know what’s going on and will give me strength and wisdom and perspective.
–that You are making good things come from this situation.
–that even when I don’t have the big picture, I can trust that You do, and that You will guide me day by day in how to walk through this.

Getting from bitter to better

Thanking God in the middle of our mess shifts our focus away from our circumstances, and back toward God’s goodness. It reminds us of our love of God, and His for us. It restores our joy in the present. And it gives us peace in the middle of the storm.

Gratitude doesn’t alter our situation; it transforms our attitude. It takes us from bitter to better.

Click below to read other posts in this series on “Complaining and Contentment:”

Complaint and Contentment Series – Part 1: Complaining

Complaint and Contentment Series – Part 3: Dodge the Urge

Complaint and Contentment Series – Part 4: 10 Tips to Overcome Complaining

A Different Kind of Thanksgiving

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A Different Kind of Thanksgiving

by Lydia Floren

We have a family tradition on Thanksgiving, one that y’all might have, too. During our Thanksgiving meal, each person at the table will take a turn to share things we are thankful for. For the past few years, I remember being thankful for my mother-in-law Kathy—that she was with us, and that she was healthy. Since moving here over a decade ago, Kathy has been an integral part of our lives. And, she has had some serious medical problems that could have drastically altered her ability to be independent and enjoy life. And, by God’s grace, she has continued to enjoy a sharp mind (despite Wernike’s encephalopathy), two functioning legs (with advanced vascular disease), and clear vision (though with macular degeneration).

A few weeks ago, however, Kathy faced an obstacle that she wasn’t able to overcome–a broken hip. This major event upset the applecart of her delicately balanced health and led to her demise last week. She was 88 years old. We will miss her.

A Different Kind of Thanksgiving

This Thanksgiving will be different. Kathy’s place at dinner will be noticeably vacant. When we go around the table, I am sure we will give thanks for her life, and the many “bonus” years we got to have with her. Two days later, we will gather with family and friends to celebrate her life. And we will rejoice that, because of God’s grace, we will see her again one day.

Relationships—One of God’s Greatest Gifts to Us

In the end, life is about relationships. It is one of God’s greatest gifts to us. This Thanksgiving, thank God for the people in your life, present or absent. Give thanks for the many ways they have blessed you. And thank God that, someday, there will be no absent places at the table, because we will all be gathered around His huge table, overwhelmed with food and love and laughter.

Thank You for Being You

On that note, I just want you to know that I am thankful for each of you, who read this blog– some near, but most far away. Thank you for encouraging me with your kind words, and trusting me with your vulnerability, and challenging me with your faith, and lifting me up with your prayers.

I am very thankful that one day we will all be sitting together sharing a meal, laughing and remembering, loving and being loved.

I thank God in all my remembrance of you. Philippians 3:1

The S Word

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by Lydia Floren

One of our favorite family phrases comes from the movie Aladdin. The little parrot, Iago, gets all upset and starts venting to his boss, the evil Jafar. Jafar’s response is simply this: “Paaaaatience, Iago. Paaaatience.”

What gets us so riled up, that we lose our patience with ourselves or others? For me, it is the S word. No, not the four-letter S word….the six-letter one: “should.” When “should” creeps into my thoughts and makes its way into my conversations, patience goes out the window. Joy is replaced by restless discontent. I start focusing on what is wrong instead of what is right.

“They should be doing this. I should be doing that.”

“They should fill all of these potholes.” “I should get more respect.” “The computer system should always work perfectly.” “I should be able to manage my time better, or be a better person.”

Should is a toxic word. It poisons our peace and eats away at our patience. Shoulds stress us out and put stress on those around us.

Cure for the S word

The cool thing is, there is a cure for the S word–the “should” infection. It’s the T word: thanksgiving. The practice of giving thanks in all things stamps the shoulds right out of our life. Gratitude banishes discontent, restores our joy, and replenishes our patience.

“Thank you Father, that we have paved streets, and that these potholes will eventually be filled.” “Thank you that You respect and value me, and are teaching me to respect and value myself.” “Thank you that the computer system works 99% of the time, and there is a great team of people working on keeping it that way.”

It doesn’t come easy.

Replacing the “S” word with the “T” word takes some practice. It doesn’t come easy. In fact it can feel quite awkward and contrived, especially at first. But, it is incredibly powerful at restoring our perspective and our joy.

“Thank You that every single one of us is imperfect and in process, and You love us right where we are.” “Thank You that we are each fearfully and wonderfully made.” “Thank You that I don’t need to do anything to earn your love, and there is nothing I can do that will change it.” “Thank you that You are always present and at work, and working things to good.”

“Thank you that there is always, always, always something to be thankful for.”

When we cultivate a grateful heart we quit “shoulding” all over ourselves and those around us. Our words and actions are motivated by love instead of driven by discontent.

How has the “S” word invaded your life? What happens when you replace it with the “T” word?

Father, Thank You

Father, Thank You…

You give me identity. You made me and gifted me with all the wonderful qualities I possess. You have helped me see them and explore them. To understand them better. To cement them into a better understanding of who I am.

You give me belonging. My place to belong. With no judgment or condemnation. Just acceptance, love, arms open wide. This place/home is

– with You. Every day. Where I am, there You are as well. And where You lead me to be is where I belong at the moment. And I am safe wherever that is.

– with other true believers, including those who have gone before, (like Nouwen, C.S. Lewis, Solzhenitsyn, St. Francis, Brother Lawrence, Hannah Whitehall Smith), and those in the Bible. And those in my life right now.

– And in eternity, my forever home.

And because of this true place that I belong, I can be content in the place that I am, wherever You have led me to be that day.

You give me immeasurable value, an innate sense of true worth that has nothing to do with any accomplishment. Just with the reality of who I am – my inherent and unique spirit. You didn’t come to save me for my usefulness, but simply because I am important to you. I was worth coming for and dying for, simply for the joy of my company with You forever.

You give me a sense of significance. A unique place of service and influence in this world. You invite me into the world every day to love people, and to serve them and minister to them. To be a part of what You are doing to redeem the world, and to restore it. In Your power. By Your direction. With Your wisdom and discernment. And because it is in Your power, and by Your direction, I don’t need to fret about the details. I can just trust the process and the plan I have prayed thru with You, knowing that You will adjust and redirect me when needed.

You give me safety and provision. Protection. Safe passage wherever You lead me in life. And the understanding that You will provide everything that I need, including contentment in whatever circumstance I find myself. And the ability to face pain and walk through it. And You give me the security of knowing that You will come find me if I wander off the path, and will lead me back in the direction I need to go.

You give me guidance, and fellowship/company along the path You have set out for me, every day practical guidance in healing, in ministry, in growth, in self-care, in tending what I have been given. Even guidance in how to plan, to strategize. Guidance in the spontaneous. Guidance in how You want to work thru me to bless others.

You give me Yourself. The greatest and best gift, and the most enduring one. The ongoing joy of knowing that I am continually in Your presence/company. Continually loved/cherished. Continually wanted, and included. Continually protected. Continually supplied with everything that I need. Continually being healed, renewed, empowered, challenged, encouraged.

Father, thank You for the joy of knowing that I can trust You with my whole heart and my whole life.

But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth. John 16:8

Lifeline, by Lydia Floren

My lifeline

In the middle of the tempest God often whispers (and his whisper can be very loud, believe me!)

“Give thanks.”

“What? can’t you see I’m drowning here, Father? There is no time for this.”

“I see exactly what is going on, Child.”

“Give thanks. Now.”

I have learned through hard experience that I had best pay attention to that oh-so-kind voice. To take a gulp of air and give thanks right where I am. When I do, the whole tempest around me shapeshifts into calm. The storm isn’t gone, of course. I have just found the calm in its center. So I begin…

Thank you…

Thank you that you are going to make something wonderful out of all of this, and work it all to good. thank you for your goodness. Your care. Your constant presence in my life. thank you that I can trust you to give me strength to do what you are calling me to do. thank you for teaching me not to avoid the fire, but to walk through it under your protection. Thank you that you are not, and never will be, ashamed of me. That you know and have covered, not only my past mistakes, but also the ones I will make in the future. Thank you that you love me more than I can imagine. And thank you that I can trust you to guide me, and protect me.

Thanksgiving changes everything. It is like opening the valve to a fire hydrant on a hot day. Or turning on the light in a dark room. Or…or meeting God’s gaze in the middle of the storm, and then clutching on to his hand with all my might. Terrified one minute, and content the next.

Are you in the middle of a storm? Overwhelmed with mounting bills, a deep hurt, or a scary diagnosis? Or an oppressive sense of failure? Are you fighting for your life?

Maybe it’s time to stop reacting to the problem, and start looking toward Your Lifeline. To quit flailing.

Take a deep breath. And then whisper these simple words: “Thank you….”

Once you start, He’ll help you fill in the rest.

Christmas Stories

by Letitia Suk

I have a large pile of Christmas books, because I like to read other people’s stories. Usually, they center on a situation with a sticky problem. then a miraculous solution that shows up, at almost the last minute. Do you like those, too?

You and I have our own tales of Christmas, too, like the “Ghosts of Christmas Past.” Maybe not as dramatic, but no less precious. I started keeping a “Christmas Journal” about thirty years ago, as a place to hold all my stories, but the best ones I know by heart.

Some of my memorable Christmas moments didn’t start out all cozy, but more like crazy, or even disastrous. Quite a few, in fact. Sometimes, the solution was a little slow to show up. Funny, how we don’t remember the uneventful ones nearly as well!

Some Christmas memories are almost quirky. Like my earliest and best Christmas memory is a smell: the plastic-y smell of a new doll, as every year one showed up under the tree. I still love the smell of new shower curtains, because it is exactly the same scent!

But there are different kinds of memories we can pull up this time of year…

In the great Magnificat, or Mary’s Song, as recorded in Luke, that we read or hear every year, there is one lin, that melts me every time: “For the Mighty One has done Great Things for me, Holy is His name.” ( Luke 1:49)

“Great Things He Has Done,” wow! I can say with Mary, great things He has done for me, too. I bet you can, too.

What great things are in your storybook? Not just from Christmas-time, but from all times of your life.

The Bible reminds us often to remember. “Only be careful and watch yourselves closely, so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart, as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.” (Deut 4:9)

Do you have memories of God’s power? His faithfulness? His provision? Great things He has done in your family? I hope you are nodding your head.

Can you remember the first thing God did for you? I wrote about my first memory in “Getaway with God.” I’ll give you a hint, it is about a bird.

At an Advent retreat years ago, the facilitator sent us for an hour of alone time, to answer that question: What are the “great things” He has done? Turned out to be one of the most powerful lists I have ever made.

Try something fun this season, and set aside some time to name all the things God has done for you, in this last year, month, day, so far. If you’ve got a little more time, go back as far as you can. You can even sit by your tree and sip hot cocoa while you compose your list ☺

Maybe your memories won’t end up nicely packaged on someone’s coffee table (they might!), but you can re-read your own favorite storybook anytime. It is always right at hand.

And this story never ends.

Letitia Suk, author of Getaway with God: The Everywoman’s Guide to Personal Retreat. c. Letitia Suk 2016/Letitiasuk.com

Thank you, Tish, for “guest blogging” this week! Merry Christmas, all! May God’s love fill your life to overflowing in this coming year! Lydia

Choosing Joy

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I am spending a few glorious (and warm) days at the beach visiting a dear friend. On the drive from the airport my friend told me about the island’s beach renovation project. The Corps of Engineers situated a big ship offshore a couple of miles north of us to suck sand from the ocean floor. They then push it through a pipe they progressively lay down close to the water. The Fresh sand is sifted and then deposited along the eroded shore, and then big trucks even it out. It is quite a production.

Unfortunately the crew set up shop right in front her place 3 days before my arrival. When they moved down the beach after a couple of days, they left a big pipe stretched across the sand in front of us, and– for a while– a plastic orange fence that kept us from approaching the ocean.

I had a decision to make.

This week I will choose:

Will I focus on the rusty pipe,

or the panorama of ocean and sky?

On the orange fence, or a shore free of beach walkers?

On an occasional beeping truck, or gull cries and crashing waves?

All through our lives we make decisions.

We choose.

To enjoy life’s beauty, or to be annoyed by its problems.

To appreciate what we have, or to wish for what we don’t.

To be content, or to be restless.

In our walk with God on this earth we choose

To trust, or to worry.

To be thankful, or to be dissatisfied.

To embrace joy, or to wallow in self-pity.

Thank you God, for

Your presence within and around me.

The magnificence creation before me.

The beauty of me – your ultimate design.

You – Your personality, intellect, creativity, compassion.

The incredible power you possess and restraint that you practice.

Thank you God,

For renovating my heart, just like this beach – restoring fresh sand, minus the debris.

For Your incomprehensible love, vast as the sea.

Thank you, that you have made it possible for me to choose You,

For me to choose Joy.

The Extraordinary Ordinary

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by Lydia Floren

We spend most of our lives doing ordinary tasks. We may be stirring a pot, or bandaging a scrape, or commuting to work. We may be taking a class, or hammering a nail, or tending a sick patient.

God is in these moments.

The secret of contentment is to celebrate God’s presence in our ordinary lives. When we welcome Him in to our every-day, He blesses even the most mundane activities with a transcendence that is akin to worship.

Our ordinary is extraordinary.

How have you experienced the extraordinary ordinary?

Celebrating Immanuel – God With Us

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by Lydia Floren

I made a new friend at a conference last summer, a writer named Letitia Suk. In her wonderful book Rhythms of Renewal, Tish mentioned her practice of recording a few things everyday in a thanksgiving journal. I was inspired. I started a thanksgiving journal of my own. (I’m still a bit spotty, but the habit is taking hold.)

As I mentioned last week, it is easy for me to forget to actually give thanks TO God. In the same way, I can also neglect to give thanks FOR God. Like the prodigal and his brother, in focusing on the Father’s gifts, I can overlook His greatest gift: Himself.

So I have an idea for advent: each time I write in my thanksgiving journal, I will try to include at least one attribute of God that I am particularly thankful for. For example:

Thank you Father, for 

Your kindness
Your wisdom
Your sense of humor
Your beauty
Your grace
Your strength
Your consistency
Your faithfulness
Thank you for the ways I have seen You and known You more this year

Thanking God for Himself. What a wonderful way to celebrate Immanuel – God with us!

What a wonderful way of welcoming in advent!

Share with us: What qualities of God are you particularly thankful for?

Giving Thanks At Thanksgiving

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Every good and perfect gift is from above. James 1:17
I just got back from an amazing trip literally to the other side of the world. I was invited to come and speak at a women’s conference, the first one specifically for women that the hosts had ever organized. I was humbled, and frankly a bit afraid; I was speaking 7 times in 2 days, and to folks from a completely different culture. I prayed. And prepared. And prayed. And others prayed with me. And God showed up. Every day. And in ways I didn’t anticipate.

Over the next few weeks, I am going to share a bit more of what I saw and learned, but today I thought it would be appropriate just to write on one topic from the conference: “Be Thankful.” I know, I know. To those of you that follow my blog, you know how much I have written about giving thanks. Nothing new there. But the reason I keep circling back to thanks-giving is because this habit has had such an impact in my life. The more I focus on giving thanks to God, the more I find my life transformed. And so, there is often something new I am learning about thanks-giving.

Here’s what I mean. On Thanksgiving Day, of course we Americans are reminded to give thanks. Amid feasting and family and football, we often stop and think—and even verbalize—some things we are thankful for. In our family, this happens during The Big Meal. (Might I add, the only meal I truly cook the whole weekend!). Sometime between turkey and pumpkin pie, we all lean back in our chairs and take turns mentioning things in the past year we are particularly grateful for.

It’s a good thing to do.
But it is easy to emphasize blessings, more than The Giver of those blessings. When it is my turn at the table, I will say what I am thankful for. But, I can often forget to mention Who I am thankful to. I often neglect to actually say the words, “Thank you God.” Like the eleven lepers, I am thrilled with the gifts, but I’m not expressing gratitude to The Giver.

Thanks-giving has a point. A person on the other end. A person that we are thanking.

To truly give thanks, there must be a recipient: someone we giving thanks TO.

So, this year as you rejoice in your blessings, remember WHO you are thankful TO: the Giver of every good and perfect gift. And then take a little time to actually say the words to Him.

Say, “Thank You God.”

It’s a good thing to do.

This season, what are you especially thankful to God for?