Tag Archives: Hope and Encouragement

Anxiety from a Doctor’s Perspective – Banishing Anxiety Part 6

The chicken or the egg?

So the question is, which came first, the chicken or the egg? Is our brain chemistry altered, and that is why we are anxious? Or are we anxious or afraid, and that alters our brain chemistry? Well, usually a bit of both.

Back in the day

Most of us have some underlying anxiety—manifested by altered brain chemistry– simply because of the overstimulated technical culture we live in. 100 years ago when someone plowed a field or churned butter, or took the clothes off the line, they were inadvertently balancing out that brain chemistry with exercise and fresh air and non-processed food. Today, not so much. Processed foods, an imbalanced diet, poor sleep habits, minimal exercise and indoor living all add to our general levels of stress and anxiety.

Anxiety in the genes

There are others of us that have a hereditary predisposition to anxiety. In our family, long before anyone knew much about this problem, my cousins would talk about “The Lowe disease.” They were referring to the fact that just about every person on my father’s side-the Lowe side– of the family has struggled with significant anxiety and panic attacks.

Bottom line

Whether it’s the chicken or the egg, the end result is that many of us suffer from life-altering and sometimes incapacitating anxiety. Fortunately, physicians have some excellent tools for treating anxiety disorders so that people don’t have to be debilitated by this problem.

Alter our environments:

There are three ways we can alter our environments that might help.

Change what we eat, by eliminating caffeine, processed foods, refined carbohydrates, preservatives, and drinking lots of water.
Get more sleep, guarding our time so that we get adequate amounts of rest and sleep.
Exercise. It’s helpful if we increase our heart rate for at least 20 minutes a day, most days of the week.

Therapy:

There are some great new therapies to help with anxiety, and consulting with a licensed therapist or counselor can greatly help.

Medication:

When I went into practice, the only medication we had for anxiety was Valium. That was it. Now there are a variety of meds that can greatly help with this disorder. Sometimes we only need them for a while, so that we can function enough to work on non-medication methods of dealing with anxiety, or to get through a very stressful situation. Other times, we need them for a more prolonged period of treatment, or even for a lifetime, if the brain chemistry problem is inherent.

Anxiety is a huge problem in our society, and those of us who practice medicine see it all the time. Fortunately, God has provided lots of ways for us to banish this problem from our lives. First and foremost, as I have mentioned in previous posts, we need to connect with God, and receive His guidance in the best path for us to overcome this. Many times He provides through helping us see the lies we believe, and replacing them with truth. Other times He provides by increasing our perspective or helping us to understand our past. And sometimes He provides for us through therapy, and/or medication. Just like a diabetic needs insulin, sometimes people need medication to straighten out their brain chemistry and overcome anxiety.

When was the last time you struggled with anxiety, and what did you find helpful? Leave a comment below, or join the conversation on social media.

Read all of my previous posts on anxiety here:

Putting Things in Perspective – Banishing Anxiety Part 5

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Putting Things in Perspective

Banishing Anxiety Part 5

by Lydia Floren

This series on anxiety has been fun. And, honestly, I could probably write on this topic for a whole year. Not because of my tremendous knowledge about anxiety, but because of my vast experience with it! Here’s an example: For the last four years or so, I’ve been writing a book on learning to live a God-guided life. Four years is a long time, and I am ready to be done with it. But, I’ve realized that one of my biggest obstacles in finishing my book, is me–more specifically, my fear.

My fears about writing

What am I afraid of? Well, I’m afraid of lots of things. Believe it or not, I am afraid of finishing the book. My perfectionist self plagues me with the “what if’s.” What if I finish it, and no one wants to publish it? What if it is published, but no one wants to read it? And what if they read it, but they find it boring or irrelevant? Or lacking in important ways?

Oddly enough, I’m also afraid of not finishing the book. What if I take so long to write this, that I die before I finish it? (Plenty of people younger than me headline the obituaries every day.) What if someone needed to read it, but never had the opportunity, because my fears and perfectionism and busyness got in the way of completing my book?

Frozen

Sigh. If I am afraid of finishing the book, and also afraid of not finishing it, I am well and truly stuck. Frozen in the twilight zone of fear that we perfectionists (even those in recovery like me), often find ourselves.

Getting unstuck

What gets me unstuck? Reminding myself to put things in perspective. This little tome I am working on is not the only book I am writing – and certainly not My Most Important Book. The Most Important Book I am writing is my life. Each day in my life-book is a page. And every word on the page is powerful. Every kindness. Every smile. Every encouragement. Every hug. Every choice to forgive. Every moment of listening. Every confidence kept. Every murmur of thanksgiving.

All these words, these pages, make more of a difference than any volume we might publish – or anything we “accomplish” for that matter. Our Most Important Boo – our life-book – is already touching people in ways we don’t even realize. And it won’t be until after the book is finished and we go to heaven, that we will get to see just how much it has mattered to the people we love, as well as to those we randomly encounter.

Relax

When I put things in perspective – when I remind myself of what is most important – I can relax about my smaller project. I quit getting my panties in a wad about the little imperfections. I just do my best, and trust that God will use it however He wants to. And I know that, even if it never sees the light of day, the process of writing it has already blessed me tremendously.

Every day, I’m churning out the words of my Most Important Book. The plot is complicated. The main character manages to get in lots of messes. But she never loses hope, because the Hero is there every step of the way. And though I don’t yet know the details, I can tell you it’s going to have a great ending.

Are you feeling anxious?

Are you feeling anxious? Step back and get a little perspective. Remind yourself that your Most Important Book, your Masterpiece, is coming along nicely. And, it is already having an impact. Sure, the syntax isn’t perfect, and yeah, there are a few misspelled words. But the plot is captivating, and the ending is going to be awesome.

PSSST. FYI, From what I understand, there’s a sequel in the works, and it’s going to be an even better story.

Another Way — Banishing Anxiety Part 4

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Another Way

Another Way Banishing Anxiety Part 4

by Lydia Floren

Anxiety is a difficult emotion to understand, much less overcome. In this blog series, we have identified some great questions we can ask ourselves to help dispel our anxiety:

Today, we are going to look at another option we can choose, in response to anxiety, besides fighting or fleeing.

Another Way

As believers, when we are faced with anxiety or fear, we have a third, much more powerful choice, that shatters this fear-flight-fight cycle. Instead of fighting or fleeing, we can make the choice to focus, and then to stand.

Focus on Truth

One of the most effective ways of banishing anxiety is to focus on truth. Filling our minds with truth displaces our fear. Here are some truths I tell myself to remember, when I am feeling anxious:

Remember:

Who you are—God’s precious child, one who He dearly loves and cherishes.
Who God is—present, intelligent, powerful, wise, communicative, protective.
What is really going on in the world. We are imperfect people, living in an imperfect world. We are called to help others know God’s love, by loving them in our own unique (and often imperfect) way.

Stand Firm

In Ephesians 6, after Paul said to put on the full armor of God, he didn’t say, “Ok now go out and kill some people.” Paul said stand your ground. STAND FIRM.

“Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place.” Ephesians 6:13-14

The reason we are able to stand–that we aren’t compelled to fight or to flee–is because God is with us, and within us, keeping us safe. Nothing and no one can touch or change the identity, value, belonging, calling He has given us. In Isaiah 41:10, God reminds us:

“Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”

In other words,

Hey, don’t be scared. I am right here. Don’t go looking around for a place to hide, or for some means of protecting yourself. You don’t have to fight or run. Just focus on the truth, and stand firm. I am here with you. I will keep you safe. And, I will give you the strength and confidence you need to weather the storm.

So, next time you are anxious, ask yourself these questions:

What’s the matter?
What am I afraid of?
How am I reacting?
What truth can I stand on?

Instead of fighting or fleeing, remember that there is another, and often better way to respond to anxiety. Focus on the truth, and stand firm. You are safe. You are not alone. And you are not on your own.

What Am I Afraid of? Banishing Anxiety Part 2

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by Lydia Floren

The first step toward banishing anxiety is recognizing it is there. The signs of anxiety can be subtle: irritability, depression, desire to escape, mental fogginess, lack of concentration, tendency toward isolation, change in personality. So if we sit back for a minute, and ask ourselves, “What is the matter?”, and identify that we are anxious, we can move forward towards dispelling it.

But before we talk about the next step in banishing anxiety, let’s talk about what anxiety is.

What is anxiety?

So, what is anxiety, really? There are all kinds of fancy definitions, but the bottom line is this: anxiety is fear. If you are anxious, you are afraid. You might be afraid of something in particular. Or, of multiple things. Or, you might have a generalized sense of fear all the time, which we doctors call “generalized anxiety disorder.”

What am I afraid of?

The first step in banishing anxiety is to admit that we have it. The second step is to ask ourselves, What am I afraid of? What has changed? What is bothering me so much that my peace and hope has evaporated? What fear has paralyzed me, or kept me stuck in a cycle of discouragement and worry?

So, what AM I afraid of?

Recently I have noticed some of the signs that let me know my anxiety levels are up. So what am I afraid of? Me, personally? Right now, I am afraid of losing my mother-in-law. She is 88 years old, and for the last couple of months has been in and out of the hospital (mostly in), with multiple medical problems. I am afraid of her having to suffer. And of watching her suffer. I am afraid of doing too much for her when she is ready to go. And I am afraid of not doing enough. And, most of all, I am afraid of losing her.

Once I identify these fears, I can bring them to my Heavenly Father, my friend who is closer than a brother, who says “You don’t need to be afraid. I am here with you. You are not alone. And you are not on your own. I love her more than you do. And I will help you, and the rest of her family, help her make the right decisions. And when the time is right, I will bring her home to Me. Just relax. And trust me. Rest in me. Rest with me.”

As I write these words, God’s inexplicable peace settles over me.

And the fear, the anxiety, goes away.

Are you feeling unsettled? Not yourself? Take a moment and ask yourself: What am I afraid of?

The Juicy Shrimp Shack

By Lydia Floren

There are not many restaurants in our small town (unless you count bars and fast food joints). With so little to choose from, any time a new place opens up we try to check it out. Recently one of my patients told me about a new eating establishment called The Juicy Shrimp Shack, so on my birthday I talked my husband and mother-in-law into trying it out.

The Juicy Shrimp Shack was brand new. It did not have any ratings on Trip Advisor or Zomato. It did, however, have a Facebook page. And a map with a link. So after the three of us piled in the car, I clicked on the link, programmed the GPS and we were on our way. We headed west on I-94 and, after about 15 miles, turned off at the stripper bar exit. (I am sure it has a name, but that’s what everyone around here calls it). The GPS said to turn north, so we turned, and started driving. Pretty soon, we were surrounded by farms and fields. It was beautiful – rolling hills, stately red barns, grazing cattle, and field after lush, green field. Sigh. There’s nothing like Wisconsin in the summertime.

But, it was late. And we were hungry.

I plugged the coordinates into the Google GPS instead of the Apple one. No change. So we kept going, but after a few more miles, I was really starting to get worried. Locating a restaurant in the middle of farmland didn’t seem like a wise business strategy to me. If the Juicy Shrimp Shack is this far out in the country, who would find it? And if no one ate there, would the food be fresh, or old? Would we get sick by eating it?

Finally the GPS said, “Turn right at the next intersection. Your destination is one mile ahead on the left. “

But turning right put us on a skinny dirt road lined with closely packed cornstalks.

I asked Andrew to stop. And to my husband’s credit, he didn’t say a word. I, again, accessed the Juicy Shrimp Shack’s web page from my cell phone (thank God for Verizon), but this time I looked up the actual address written on the page. When I entered that in to the GPS everything on the screen changed.

The GPS lady said “you are way the heck off base. What were you thinking?” Not really. She just droned, “REPROGRAMMING,” and told us to turn around and head back 10 miles to the I-94 exit, where we first got off.

And there it was, right next door to the girly place. (I’m not kidding.)

And it was awesome!!!

Reprogramming your GPS

I do have a point here. Maybe you have something – a career path, financial purchase, relationship, job – programmed into your life’s GPS. And, it seems right. To the best of your knowledge, you made a good decision. But, the further you get down the road in this project, or relationship, or field of study, the more things just don’t seem to be clicking. Something feels off. You are more and more hesitant to keep going forward.

Pay attention to that feeling. And don’t be afraid to take a big step back and reevaluate. Get more information. See what other options are out there. And then pray through the decision again. You may come to the same conclusion, or you may come to a different one.

And, even if you find yourself backtracking a good bit to get on a different road, don’t beat yourself up about it. Just remember: with God, no experience is wasted. God has used and will use every mile you travel to teach you things, and bless others along the way.

Time to regroup?

Is it time to regroup? No worries. Just stop. Thank God for where you are. And, where He is going to lead you next.

And before you get your life back in gear, take a moment to enjoy what’s right in front of you. Beautiful.

A Dead Turkey

by Lydia Floren

I’ve never seen a dead turkey before.

Wait, I take that back. I’ve seen hundreds of dead turkeys. In the grocery freezer section, right before Thanksgiving.

But, I’ve never seen a dead turkey like this.

Sometime between morning chores and afternoon errands, this guy appeared on the edge of our lawn.

I walked up to him. halfway thinking he’d get up and run off.

Nope.

I made some noise, nudged him with my toe.

Nothing.

Then, I noticed the flies buzzing around.

Hmmmm. Maybe he wasn’t just sleeping.

I texted my husband.

I said, “I think we have a dead turkey in our front yard.” And then, “I’m not sure I’ve ever said that sentence before.”

I sent him a picture.

Although I am not sure, in retrospect, why he would want a picture of a dead turkey on his phone. (Sort of like the time someone texted me a picture of their kid’s poop. There are some lines that just need to be drawn. And feces, and probably dead turkeys, are on the other side of those lines.)

I went off to run my errands, hoping, though not terribly optimistic, that the big bird would wake up and move along while I was gone. Not sure what I would do if he didn’t. Didn’t really want a rotting turkey on the lawn.

When I got to the beauty shop and told my hairdresser about it, she suggested calling animal control, although I wasn’t sure why they would want him. He wasn’t really a rabies risk. But maybe he had some strange disease that they were testing for.

When I got back home, the turkey was gone.

Wow.

Maybe he was just napping. And woke up and wandered off.

I walked in the house and found my husband, Andrew, on the back porch. He was leaning on the rail with his B.B. pistol. On the lookout for crows and bunnies. (They eat my flowers.)

“Did you see the turkey?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you do something with him?”

“Yeah.”

“What did you do?” (Surely he didn’t put him in the trash can. The trashmen didn’t come for another week.)

“I got a shovel, picked him up, and threw him over the back fence, down the hill.”

“Where?”

“Over by that big tree on the right, about halfway down. If you walk over that way, you can see him.”

“No thanks. I’m good.

Thank you very much for getting rid of him.

You are my hero.”

“I’d rather be your hero than your dead turkey.”

Do you have a dead turkey in your yard? A disappointment? A grudge? A sin you keep beating yourself up for? An offense, or wrong you need to apologize for? Don’t wait around for it to vanish on its own. Do something about it. Take a shovel. Pick it up. And throw it out, so its rotting flesh doesn’t stink up your life.

And then move on.

Do not call to mind the former things. Or ponder things in the past. Behold I will do something new. Will you not be aware of it?

God’s Plan A: Planning Series Part 1

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God’s Plan A

by Lydia Floren

“God has a plan for your life.” For many people, this is a reassuring thought. But not for me. This idea of God having a plan for me has always been a little unsettling. Because I know how many ways I can screw thing up. For example, what if I think I’ve figured out God’s plan for me, but I misunderstand, and unintentionally set out in the wrong direction? Does that mean the train has left the station? That I am now consigned to live the rest of my life on a backup plan? Plan B?

And even if I feel like I’ve “gotten the memo,” and have a good idea of what His plan is, what if I just decide one day – as I’m prone to do – that I’m going to ditch His plan and go my own way? Am I on to plan C, or D, ….or Z?

Thankfully, God gets us. He knows we mess up. Regularly. He understands that we don’t always hear Him clearly. And he knows that we can wander way off base, out of ignorance, or just from pure orneriness. If – no,when – we do, He doesn’t relegate us to life in the loser’s bracket, to live a kind of a cosmic, “consolation prize” existence.

He just keeps on loving us, reaching out to us, calling us back to the one and only plan He has for us. His Plan A.

God’s Plan A

So what exactly is God’s Plan A?

A good life. “For I know the plans that I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11
A full life. Jesus said, “I have come in order that you might have life – life in all its fullness. “ John 10:10
A life of loving, and being loved. “If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us.” 1 John 4:12

Who wouldn’t want that kind of life?

Have you gotten off track? Have you quit listening for God’s direction, or maybe just decided to go your own way for awhile? Well, quit messing around and get back on track. Claim the good life, the overflowing life, the life of love God has planned for you.

Come back to God’s Plan A.

The S Word

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by Lydia Floren

One of our favorite family phrases comes from the movie Aladdin. The little parrot, Iago, gets all upset and starts venting to his boss, the evil Jafar. Jafar’s response is simply this: “Paaaaatience, Iago. Paaaatience.”

What gets us so riled up, that we lose our patience with ourselves or others? For me, it is the S word. No, not the four-letter S word….the six-letter one: “should.” When “should” creeps into my thoughts and makes its way into my conversations, patience goes out the window. Joy is replaced by restless discontent. I start focusing on what is wrong instead of what is right.

“They should be doing this. I should be doing that.”

“They should fill all of these potholes.” “I should get more respect.” “The computer system should always work perfectly.” “I should be able to manage my time better, or be a better person.”

Should is a toxic word. It poisons our peace and eats away at our patience. Shoulds stress us out and put stress on those around us.

Cure for the S word

The cool thing is, there is a cure for the S word–the “should” infection. It’s the T word: thanksgiving. The practice of giving thanks in all things stamps the shoulds right out of our life. Gratitude banishes discontent, restores our joy, and replenishes our patience.

“Thank you Father, that we have paved streets, and that these potholes will eventually be filled.” “Thank you that You respect and value me, and are teaching me to respect and value myself.” “Thank you that the computer system works 99% of the time, and there is a great team of people working on keeping it that way.”

It doesn’t come easy.

Replacing the “S” word with the “T” word takes some practice. It doesn’t come easy. In fact it can feel quite awkward and contrived, especially at first. But, it is incredibly powerful at restoring our perspective and our joy.

“Thank You that every single one of us is imperfect and in process, and You love us right where we are.” “Thank You that we are each fearfully and wonderfully made.” “Thank You that I don’t need to do anything to earn your love, and there is nothing I can do that will change it.” “Thank you that You are always present and at work, and working things to good.”

“Thank you that there is always, always, always something to be thankful for.”

When we cultivate a grateful heart we quit “shoulding” all over ourselves and those around us. Our words and actions are motivated by love instead of driven by discontent.

How has the “S” word invaded your life? What happens when you replace it with the “T” word?

Are You My Answer?

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by Lydia Floren

Are You My Mother? is a classic children’s story about a little bird who broke out of his shell and found himself alone in his nest. Somehow, he knew he had a mother and that he needed her, even though she wasn’t there. So, he hopped down from his perch and started looking for her. Each time he spied a potential candidate (animal or object), he would ask, “Are you my mother?” And each time, he got the same response, “No, I am not your mother.”

The baby bird continued searching until he finally encountered his mom. Curiously, he didn’t ask her, “Are you my mother?”, because when he saw her, he immediately recognized her.

“I know who you are,” said the baby bird.

“You are not a kitten or a hen or a dog. You are not a cow or a Snort”

“You are a bird, and you are my mother!”

We can often wander around in our lives in search of someone or something, to take care of our deepest needs.

We don’t use words, but like that little bird, we do ask the same question over and over again, “Are you my answer?”, or in other words, “Will you be the person or thing that will fill that big hole in my heart?”

For example, we can do this when we rely on attention or accomplishments to bolster our self-esteem. Or when we focus more on what we can get out of a relationship than what we can give. “Are you my answer?”, we query. “Will you give me the sense of significance, the feeling of belonging I so crave?”

But no person, or thing, is able to satisfy our deep hunger for unconditional love. Only God-Who-Is-Love can do this.

“Are you my answer?”

When we ask God, His response is always the same:

“Yes, dear Child, I am your answer. Come. Lay down your burden of shame and self-contempt. Stop trying to fix yourself. Rest in this truth: you are completely known and fully loved by Me. God. You are so precious to me that I chose to die for you. Nothing you do – past present or future – will ever change my love for you.”

When we truly encounter God’s love, when we allow it to seep into the core of our being, we don’t need to ask. We know. He, the God-Who-Is-Love, is our answer – is The Answer – to our deepest need.

And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:17-19

Stepping Back

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Stepping Back by Lydia Floren

There always seems to be a lot going on in my life. Yours too, probably. Until recently I was working on a book project (Beloved Adventure), blogging, practicing medicine, helping to lead a small group, and preparing for a major house renovation. But a few months ago, I felt God leading me to put a few of these projects on hold and take some time for deep healing from some things in my past.

This is not on my five-year plan. Anywhere.

Yes, I have a past. We all do. I’ve dealt with it, prayed over it, experienced healing from it. I really don’t want to go there again. Ever. “Besides,” I grumbled to God, “I’m too old for this.”

But God kept tapping me on my shoulder saying “You need to go here. It is important. It is your next step forward, for growth and healing. There are things that linger there, that now you have the strength and understanding to deal with. Things that still affect you, that cause you to be anxious, to over react in certain situations, to distrust. I want to perform a deeper healing, to give you a new perspective, to bless you with increased joy and freedom.”

It took a few such “conversations,” before I acquiesced. I reluctantly set aside (for the third time) the kitchen/bathroom project, the work on Beloved Adventure and a few other things. And I began cautiously following My Loving Father in a different direction.

It takes a lot more courage and energy for me to step back than it does to step forward. It’s scary. There is rejection and hurt and mistakes and regret back there. It is a place I only dare go with my Loving Father at my side. And He has stayed close, protecting, providing, encouraging. He led me to counselor that I trust, and a couple of friends I can decompress with. He has given me a husband who understands and friends who are praying.

So far, It’s been messy and revealing. And yes, freeing and healing. But it has not been easy.

We can always know that God’s way will be one of healing and growth, freedom and joy. But what’s hard to grasp is that, on occasion, His way may also take us in an unexpected direction, a retrospective—even painful—one. But He knows that difficult past experiences can seep through and stain our current perspective, despite many coats of paint-years layered on top. So, there are times God may (and probably will) ask us to dig deep. Unearth unpleasant memories. Allow Him to reprocess them in the light of His love.

Are you willing, no matter what your age or stage in life, for God to lead you to take a step back? To set aside some projects, so that you have the time and energy to follow Him there? Are you ready to trust Him to create a new frame of reference, one untainted by past hurts? Even if the healing process will be painful at times?

If/when you are, I think you will find that stepping back can be remarkably freeing. As God heals damaged emotions from the past, He enables us to claim more fully His loving embrace in the present.

You might find, as I have, that sometimes the best way–maybe even the only way—to move forward is by stepping back.

“Those who wait for the lord will gain new strength…” Isaiah 40:31

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.” Psalm 139:23-34