Belonging

by Lydia Floren

A few years ago–well, maybe more than a few–“Cheers” was a popular TV show, and launched some major acting careers. (Woody Harrelson, Ted Danson, Kirsti Allen). The show revolved around a group of people who became friends by hanging out at a bar together.

The theme song of Cheers goes like this:

“Sometimes you want to go Where everybody knows your name,                                                         And they’re always glad you came;                                                                                                        You want to be where you can see, Our troubles are all the same;                                                You want to be where everybody knows your name.”

Don’t we all want a place where “everybody knows our name, and they’re always glad you came?”  Sure we do. We want to feel welcome, a part of things. We want to have that intimate group that knows and loves us, and is always glad to see us.

A sense of belonging is not just something we want–it’s something we need. God made us relational creatures: we are all hardwired with the drive to belong.

But there are times in life when we don’t feel like we belong. We may have just moved to a new town, and haven’t yet made friends. We may feel a little wobbly in a new job, or are finding our way in a new community. We may be isolated by illness, or language, or culture. We may feel “unsafe” or misunderstood.

But no matter how we feel, we can be certain of this: if God has put us somewhere, that is where we belong. And whatever situation we face, God will provide for all of our needs, including our need to feel a part of things.

Sure, there are times when no human arms welcome us, no voices call out our name in joyful greeting. But God provides in His own unique way. He sends a beautiful sunrise, or a birdsong, a dog’s wagging tail. He refreshes us with a warm breeze, a new insight, a fond memory. He encourages us with a message from an old friend or an invitation from someone new. And most of all, He welcomes us with His tender spirit, constantly calling out our name in love.

Because we know we belong to Him, and belong where He has placed us, we can step into each day confident that our loving Father is with us – within us – providing for our needs before we even ask Him.

And we can be certain that, when it comes time to step into our forever home, the one He is preparing for us right now, a crowd of folks will be waiting for us.

And everyone – everyone – will know our name.

I have called you by name; you are Mine! Isaiah 43:1

Your Father knows what you need before you ask Him. Matt. 6:8

What unique ways has God met your need for belonging?

by Lydia Floren

 It’s Not About You.   Or Is It?   

It’s not about you.  I have never understood that statement.  Think about it.  You are the only one living your life. You make your own choices.  You experience life with your unique thought processes and personality.   In reality, your life is–well–yours.

But it’s not JUST about you.

So what do people mean when they say “it’s not about you”?  I think they really mean that your life is not just about you.  It is about more than you.  Here’s what I mean:  You are not the only person in the universe. For example–and this is the most important by far, this universe is inhabited by God, your maker.  In fact, you–your life– is a creative expression of God.  You are His masterpiece.  In addition, there are other people like you inhabiting this world, people with life, wants, and needs just like you.   And, for good or ill, your choices impact your connection with your creator, and influence other people in your little corner of the world.

Here’s the problem: if you have not learned to accept and appreciate yourself,  YOU are all you can think about.  You focus on trying to get your needs met.  Conversely, when you are at peace with yourself,  you have the capacity to focus outward instead of inward, blessing others instead of expecting from them.

Everyone is needy–everyone has needs.  In order to move beyond yourself, you have to

1.  Face your needs and then                                                                                                                     2.  Choose to look first to God—not other people—to meet those needs.  

Our Needs:

We all recognize our needs for food, clothing, and shelter, but we often ignore important needs that go beyond the physical. Only when we acknowledge these needs, and they are truly met,  can we move past  ourselves. For example, we all need

• Identity–a sense of who we are as a person, an understanding and appreciation of ourselves as a unique individual
• Value–a belief–and solid reason for the belief–that we are valuable
• Belonging–a place in the world where we feel safe, and at home–where everyone knows our name.
• Calling/direction–a sense of purpose, and genuine hope that we can fulfill that purpose.
• Safety–the deep knowing that you are protected: that nothing and no one can destroy you.

We try hard, mostly in subconscious ways, to meet these very essential needs, but come up empty most of the time–and for good reason:  it is impossible.  There is no way that we–or any other person on the planet–can meet these needs.  That doesn’t keep us from trying.  Many promising relationships wither under the heat of our unrealistic expectations: that someone else can, and should, meet our most basic needs.

God is the only person that can satisfy our hunger for identity, value, belonging, calling, and safety.  Quite frankly, God not only CAN fill this void in our lives, He has already given us the means to do so. But He always gives us the choice of whether or not to accept His provision.  How do we recognize God’s provision, and accept it?   A good place to start is to invite Him into your life, and cultivate the habit of giving thanks in all things.

Give thanks to God for:

• Your identity: the combination of personality, temperament, history, giftedness, passions, and connections that makes you totally unique in the world.
• Your value: as His precious child, someone He paid a very high price to adopt into His family. You are cherished and loved by the most amazing being in the universe. The Person that knows you best loves you most.
• Your belonging: as a member His family, And your belonging in this moment in time, and in this place in the universe:  You are not here by accident. You belong where you are.
• Your calling/direction:  to love God, yourself and others in your own unique way as you live your life.
• Your safety:  nothing/no one can touch or change your identity, value, belonging and calling IN ANY WAY. These are safe, and protected by God.  As God’s child, your existence is safe for eternity.

Be thankful for you, the person you are and are becoming. 

Be thankful for God, who fills your deepest needs abundantly, beyond all that you can ask or imagine. 

 And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.                Philippians 4:19