Monthly Archives: November 2018

A Different Kind of Thanksgiving

A Different Kind of Thanksgiving

by Lydia Floren

We have a family tradition on Thanksgiving, one that y’all might have, too. During our Thanksgiving meal, each person at the table will take a turn to share things we are thankful for. For the past few years, I remember being thankful for my mother-in-law Kathy—that she was with us, and that she was healthy. Since moving here over a decade ago, Kathy has been an integral part of our lives. And, she has had some serious medical problems that could have drastically altered her ability to be independent and enjoy life. And, by God’s grace, she has continued to enjoy a sharp mind (despite Wernike’s encephalopathy), two functioning legs (with advanced vascular disease), and clear vision (though with macular degeneration).

A few weeks ago, however, Kathy faced an obstacle that she wasn’t able to overcome–a broken hip. This major event upset the applecart of her delicately balanced health and led to her demise last week. She was 88 years old. We will miss her.

A Different Kind of Thanksgiving

This Thanksgiving will be different. Kathy’s place at dinner will be noticeably vacant. When we go around the table, I am sure we will give thanks for her life, and the many “bonus” years we got to have with her. Two days later, we will gather with family and friends to celebrate her life. And we will rejoice that, because of God’s grace, we will see her again one day.

Relationships—One of God’s Greatest Gifts to Us

In the end, life is about relationships. It is one of God’s greatest gifts to us. This Thanksgiving, thank God for the people in your life, present or absent. Give thanks for the many ways they have blessed you. And thank God that, someday, there will be no absent places at the table, because we will all be gathered around His huge table, overwhelmed with food and love and laughter.

Thank You for Being You

On that note, I just want you to know that I am thankful for each of you, who read this blog– some near, but most far away. Thank you for encouraging me with your kind words, and trusting me with your vulnerability, and challenging me with your faith, and lifting me up with your prayers.

I am very thankful that one day we will all be sitting together sharing a meal, laughing and remembering, loving and being loved.

I thank God in all my remembrance of you. Philippians 3:1

Putting Things in Perspective – Banishing Anxiety Part 5

1 Reply

Putting Things in Perspective

Banishing Anxiety Part 5

by Lydia Floren

This series on anxiety has been fun. And, honestly, I could probably write on this topic for a whole year. Not because of my tremendous knowledge about anxiety, but because of my vast experience with it! Here’s an example: For the last four years or so, I’ve been writing a book on learning to live a God-guided life. Four years is a long time, and I am ready to be done with it. But, I’ve realized that one of my biggest obstacles in finishing my book, is me–more specifically, my fear.

My fears about writing

What am I afraid of? Well, I’m afraid of lots of things. Believe it or not, I am afraid of finishing the book. My perfectionist self plagues me with the “what if’s.” What if I finish it, and no one wants to publish it? What if it is published, but no one wants to read it? And what if they read it, but they find it boring or irrelevant? Or lacking in important ways?

Oddly enough, I’m also afraid of not finishing the book. What if I take so long to write this, that I die before I finish it? (Plenty of people younger than me headline the obituaries every day.) What if someone needed to read it, but never had the opportunity, because my fears and perfectionism and busyness got in the way of completing my book?

Frozen

Sigh. If I am afraid of finishing the book, and also afraid of not finishing it, I am well and truly stuck. Frozen in the twilight zone of fear that we perfectionists (even those in recovery like me), often find ourselves.

Getting unstuck

What gets me unstuck? Reminding myself to put things in perspective. This little tome I am working on is not the only book I am writing – and certainly not My Most Important Book. The Most Important Book I am writing is my life. Each day in my life-book is a page. And every word on the page is powerful. Every kindness. Every smile. Every encouragement. Every hug. Every choice to forgive. Every moment of listening. Every confidence kept. Every murmur of thanksgiving.

All these words, these pages, make more of a difference than any volume we might publish – or anything we “accomplish” for that matter. Our Most Important Boo – our life-book – is already touching people in ways we don’t even realize. And it won’t be until after the book is finished and we go to heaven, that we will get to see just how much it has mattered to the people we love, as well as to those we randomly encounter.

Relax

When I put things in perspective – when I remind myself of what is most important – I can relax about my smaller project. I quit getting my panties in a wad about the little imperfections. I just do my best, and trust that God will use it however He wants to. And I know that, even if it never sees the light of day, the process of writing it has already blessed me tremendously.

Every day, I’m churning out the words of my Most Important Book. The plot is complicated. The main character manages to get in lots of messes. But she never loses hope, because the Hero is there every step of the way. And though I don’t yet know the details, I can tell you it’s going to have a great ending.

Are you feeling anxious?

Are you feeling anxious? Step back and get a little perspective. Remind yourself that your Most Important Book, your Masterpiece, is coming along nicely. And, it is already having an impact. Sure, the syntax isn’t perfect, and yeah, there are a few misspelled words. But the plot is captivating, and the ending is going to be awesome.

PSSST. FYI, From what I understand, there’s a sequel in the works, and it’s going to be an even better story.

Another Way — Banishing Anxiety Part 4

1 Reply

Another Way

Another Way Banishing Anxiety Part 4

by Lydia Floren

Anxiety is a difficult emotion to understand, much less overcome. In this blog series, we have identified some great questions we can ask ourselves to help dispel our anxiety:

Today, we are going to look at another option we can choose, in response to anxiety, besides fighting or fleeing.

Another Way

As believers, when we are faced with anxiety or fear, we have a third, much more powerful choice, that shatters this fear-flight-fight cycle. Instead of fighting or fleeing, we can make the choice to focus, and then to stand.

Focus on Truth

One of the most effective ways of banishing anxiety is to focus on truth. Filling our minds with truth displaces our fear. Here are some truths I tell myself to remember, when I am feeling anxious:

Remember:

Who you are—God’s precious child, one who He dearly loves and cherishes.
Who God is—present, intelligent, powerful, wise, communicative, protective.
What is really going on in the world. We are imperfect people, living in an imperfect world. We are called to help others know God’s love, by loving them in our own unique (and often imperfect) way.

Stand Firm

In Ephesians 6, after Paul said to put on the full armor of God, he didn’t say, “Ok now go out and kill some people.” Paul said stand your ground. STAND FIRM.

“Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place.” Ephesians 6:13-14

The reason we are able to stand–that we aren’t compelled to fight or to flee–is because God is with us, and within us, keeping us safe. Nothing and no one can touch or change the identity, value, belonging, calling He has given us. In Isaiah 41:10, God reminds us:

“Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”

In other words,

Hey, don’t be scared. I am right here. Don’t go looking around for a place to hide, or for some means of protecting yourself. You don’t have to fight or run. Just focus on the truth, and stand firm. I am here with you. I will keep you safe. And, I will give you the strength and confidence you need to weather the storm.

So, next time you are anxious, ask yourself these questions:

What’s the matter?
What am I afraid of?
How am I reacting?
What truth can I stand on?

Instead of fighting or fleeing, remember that there is another, and often better way to respond to anxiety. Focus on the truth, and stand firm. You are safe. You are not alone. And you are not on your own.