{"id":892,"date":"2015-04-17T10:46:14","date_gmt":"2015-04-17T15:46:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/belovedlove.org\/reflections\/?p=892"},"modified":"2019-05-17T14:44:23","modified_gmt":"2019-05-17T19:44:23","slug":"nomb-part-i-letting-god-be-the-fixer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/belovedlove.org\/reflections\/2015\/04\/17\/nomb-part-i-letting-god-be-the-fixer\/","title":{"rendered":"NOMB Part I: Letting God Be The Fixer"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

by Lydia Floren<\/a><\/p>\n

NOMB (None Of My Business) Part I: Letting God Be The Fixer<\/p>\n

Fixing Things<\/strong><\/p>\n

I am a fixer by nature and nurture. By nature, according to the Myers-Briggs personality test I am an Extroverted-Intuiter-Feeler-Perceiver, and ENFP\u2019s<\/strong> like me enjoy solving problems. You could say that my tendency to want to fix things is hardwired in my DNA<\/strong>. By nurture, I grew up the middle child. As such, I was the de facto ambassador in parental negotiations and the swing vote in sibling disputes. My fix-it-ness was reinforced in medical school, where I learned to analyze and diagnose and advise and treat all sorts of ailments. You could say I had a \u201clicense to fix.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

But nothing has fine-tuned my fixing skills more than motherhood.<\/strong> As every parent knows, moms are required to fix all kinds of stuff like scrapes, scuffles, bad manners, and hurt feelings. Oh yeah, and spilled milk, throw-up, and crises in the carpool. And\u2014lest we forget–moms are more often than not responsible for fixing dinner.<\/p>\n

No wonder it is hard for me to turn off that fixing nature.<\/strong> (And why would I want to? I\u2019m so good at it! But I must\u2014MUST– resist the urge.<\/strong> Fixing other people\u2019s lives is waaaaay out of my job description. It is one thing to help someone solve a problem when asked (such as in my role as physician), or when someone depends on you (as in mothering a small child). But most of the time people don\u2019t need\u2014or want–me to diagnose what is wrong with them and try to correct it.<\/strong> That is almost always the worst thing a person can do. Ask any teenager.<\/p>\n

Folks, including teenagers, just want to be loved and accepted.<\/strong> They want to be enjoyed for who they are.<\/strong> They want someone to believe in them and pray for them.<\/strong> People want someone to listen while they talk out their dilemmas so they can come up with their own solutions.<\/p>\n

SIGH.<\/p>\n

OK, so how does one curb this fixing habit? Here\u2019s a great start: Remind yourself every day that YOU ARE NOT GOD.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Note to self: I am not God.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I am not God. I know this shocks those of you who know me, but I just wanted to get it out there so you could get used to the idea.<\/p>\n

Here are a few additional reminders<\/strong> that are helping me curb my fixing habit:<\/p>\n