{"id":779,"date":"2015-01-24T08:40:44","date_gmt":"2015-01-24T14:40:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/belovedlove.org\/reflections\/?p=779"},"modified":"2019-05-17T12:57:42","modified_gmt":"2019-05-17T17:57:42","slug":"itsnotjustaboutyou-allow-god-to-meet-our-needs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/belovedlove.org\/reflections\/2015\/01\/24\/itsnotjustaboutyou-allow-god-to-meet-our-needs\/","title":{"rendered":"It&#8217;s Not Just About You"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/belovedlove.org\/reflections\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/belovedlovetitle.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-767 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/belovedlove.org\/reflections\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/belovedlovetitle.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"424\" srcset=\"https:\/\/belovedlove.org\/reflections\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/belovedlovetitle.jpg 600w, https:\/\/belovedlove.org\/reflections\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/belovedlovetitle-300x212.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/belovedlove.org\/reflections\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/todotobesunrayblog.jpg\">by <\/a><a title=\"About Lydia and Belovedlove\" href=\"http:\/\/www.belovedlove.org\/about.html\">Lydia Floren<\/a><\/p>\n<p>A while back I wrote a blog <a title=\"It\u2019s not about you, or is it?\" href=\"http:\/\/belovedlove.org\/reflections\/2014\/11\/08\/its-not-about-you-or-is-it\/\">It\u2019s not about you or is it?<\/a>\u00a0 Before we can turn our attention to loving others, we must first accept who we are, recognize our needs, and choose to allow God to meet our needs.<\/p>\n<p>Two key parts of this process are:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Identifying faulty coping mechanisms or ways we have tried to meet these needs in the past.<\/li>\n<li>Replacing these coping mechanisms with constructive habits that will make way for God to move in our lives and meet our needs.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong><a title=\"1 Corinthians 13 Reminder\" href=\"http:\/\/belovedlove.org\/reflections\/2014\/02\/08\/1-corinthians-13-reminder\/\">Reminder:<\/a>\u00a0 We all have needs.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Everyone has a need for food, shelter, but we also have needs that are in some ways deeper, needs for love and affection, a sense of <a title=\"Find out more about identity!\" href=\"http:\/\/www.belovedlove.org\/identity.html\">identity<\/a> and value, and belonging.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Coping mechanisms<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>And we all have developed habits\u2014or ways of coping\u2014in order to meet those needs. With some of these habits, we rely on ourselves.\u00a0 With others, we expect other people to meet our needs. Here are a few examples of coping mechanisms:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Grabbing <\/strong>what you can when you can:\u00a0 attention, love, stuff.\u00a0 Focusing on what you want, and not what god says you need. Calling wants needs.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Controlling<\/strong> things around you so that you can be comfortable and secure: our environment, relationships, and living by a rigid structure.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Denying <\/strong>that you have needs.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Escaping <\/strong>life by immersing yourself in TV, gaming, social media, alcohol or other means of escape.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Floating<\/strong> along, refusing to take responsibility for your life, your actions, or&#8211;even more telling\u2014your inaction.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Expecting<\/strong> others to meet your needs. Relying on other people to make you happy.\u00a0 Assuming that anyone and everyone else\u2019s job is to make you happy.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Assuming<\/strong> that your own happiness, comfort, and success is more important than someone else\u2019s\u2019, or that their happiness is more important than yours.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Replace these coping mechanisms.\u00a0 <\/strong>Living a life guided by God is living a life increasingly free of the faulty habits we have so carefully cultivated. In Psalm 139 David prays:<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>Search me Oh God, and know my heart.\u00a0<\/em><em>Try me and know my anxious thoughts.\u00a0<\/em><em>And see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.\u00a0<\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.biblegateway.com\/passage\/?search=Psalm%20139:23-24\">Psalm 139: 23-24<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Here are a few of <strong>God\u2019s ways<\/strong> that can replace our coping mechanisms:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Giving.\u00a0 <\/strong>Keep what you will use, and give the rest away.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Letting go. <\/strong>Learning to rely on God to meet your needs and not yourself. The secret of being content in every situation, whether you have much or little.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Accepting<\/strong> your needs, and the importance that they are met.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Facing <\/strong>life, including its hard parts, knowing that you are not alone:\u00a0 God is with you and within you.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Owning your life.\u00a0 Quit playing the victim <\/strong>and accept responsibility, and that your decisions, as well as your indecisions, have consequences.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Releasing expectations<\/strong>. Hope in God, not people.\u00a0 God is the meeter of your needs, not other people.\u00a0 Sometimes He uses people, sometimes He doesn\u2019t. But He often meets your needs in ways you don\u2019t expect.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Recognizing <\/strong>that you are important, and everyone else is, too.\u00a0 Life isn\u2019t a competition, it\u2019s a collaboration.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Our needs are 100% met by Christ.\u00a0 Because of Him, we don\u2019t have to hide, or hang on to anything or any person.<\/p>\n<p><strong>There is enough. There is more than enough. Our cup overflows.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\u00a0<em>And my God shall supply all of your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.\u00a0<\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.biblegateway.com\/passage\/?search=Philippians%204:19\">Phil 4:19<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Once we accept the truth of God\u2019s provision, we can take our eyes off ourselves and give as God would have us give&#8211;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.belovedlove.org\/here-is-your-god.html\">live as God would have us live<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><strong>Share with us: What are you doing to overcome your unhealthy coping mechanisms? How are you making room to let God in?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/belovedlove.org\/reflections\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/sunray_blog2.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-793\" src=\"http:\/\/belovedlove.org\/reflections\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/sunray_blog2.jpg\" alt=\"sunray_blog2\" width=\"600\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https:\/\/belovedlove.org\/reflections\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/sunray_blog2.jpg 600w, https:\/\/belovedlove.org\/reflections\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/sunray_blog2-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/belovedlove.org\/reflections\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/sunray_blog2-300x300.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Related posts: <a title=\"It\u2019s not about you, or is it?\" href=\"http:\/\/belovedlove.org\/reflections\/2014\/11\/08\/its-not-about-you-or-is-it\/\">It&#8217;s not about <\/a>you,<a title=\"It\u2019s not about you, or is it?\" href=\"http:\/\/belovedlove.org\/reflections\/2014\/11\/08\/its-not-about-you-or-is-it\/\"> or is it?<\/a>, <a href=\"http:\/\/belovedlove.org\/reflections\/2014\/12\/18\/be-still-know-god\/\">Be Still and Know That I Am God<\/a>, <a title=\"Living Grace\" href=\"http:\/\/belovedlove.org\/reflections\/2014\/10\/22\/living-grace\/\">Living Grace<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>by Lydia Floren A while back I wrote a blog It\u2019s not about you or is it?\u00a0 Before we can turn our attention to loving others, we must first accept who we are, recognize our needs, and choose to allow God to meet our needs. Two key parts of this process are: Identifying faulty coping [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[464,44],"tags":[74,6,68,23,488,47,17],"class_list":["post-779","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-finding-yourself","category-identity-value","tag-belonging-to-god","tag-gods-love","tag-habits","tag-perfectionism","tag-psalms","tag-relationships","tag-reminders"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>It&#039;s not just about you - allow God to meet our needs Belovedlove.org<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Before we can turn our attention to loving others, we must first accept who we are and choose to allow God to meet our needs.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/belovedlove.org\/reflections\/2015\/01\/24\/itsnotjustaboutyou-allow-god-to-meet-our-needs\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"It&#039;s not just about you - 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