{"id":1449,"date":"2016-12-09T16:49:01","date_gmt":"2016-12-09T22:49:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/belovedlove.org\/reflections\/?p=1449"},"modified":"2019-05-17T15:01:57","modified_gmt":"2019-05-17T20:01:57","slug":"stepping-back","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/belovedlove.org\/reflections\/2016\/12\/09\/stepping-back\/","title":{"rendered":"Stepping Back"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"stepping<\/a>Stepping Back\u00a0by Lydia Floren<\/em><\/h2>\n

There always seems to be a lot going on in my life. Yours too, probably. Until recently I was working on a book project (Beloved Adventure<\/i>), blogging, practicing medicine, helping to lead a small group, and preparing for a major house renovation. But a few months ago, I felt God leading me to put a few of these projects on hold and take some time for deep healing from some things in my past.<\/p>\n

This is not on my five-year plan. Anywhere.<\/p>\n

Yes, I have a past. We all do. I’ve dealt with it, prayed over it, experienced healing from it.\u00a0 I really don’t want to go there again. Ever. “Besides<\/i>,” I grumbled to God, “I’m too old for this.”<\/i><\/p>\n

But God kept tapping me on my shoulder saying “You need to go here. It is important. It is your next step forward,\u00a0for\u00a0growth and healing. There are things that linger there, that\u00a0 now you have the strength and understanding to deal with.\u00a0 Things that still affect you, that cause you to be anxious, to over react in certain situations, to distrust. I want to perform a deeper healing, to give you a new perspective, to bless you with increased joy and freedom.”<\/p>\n

It took a few such \u201cconversations,\u201d\u00a0 before I acquiesced.\u00a0 I reluctantly set aside\u00a0(for the third time) the kitchen\/bathroom project, the work on Beloved Adventure<\/i> and a few other things.\u00a0 And I began cautiously following My Loving Father in a different direction.<\/p>\n

It takes a lot more courage and energy for me to step back than it does to step forward. It\u2019s scary. There is rejection and hurt and mistakes and regret back there. It is a place I only dare go with my Loving Father at my side. And He has stayed close, protecting, providing, encouraging.\u00a0 He led me to counselor that I trust, and a couple of friends I can decompress with.\u00a0 He has given me a husband who understands and friends who are praying.<\/p>\n

So far, It’s been messy and revealing. And yes, freeing and healing. But it has not been easy.<\/p>\n

We can always know that God’s way will be one of healing and growth, freedom and joy. But what’s\u00a0hard to grasp is that, on occasion, His way may also take us in an unexpected direction, a retrospective\u2014even painful\u2014one.\u00a0 But He knows that difficult past experiences can seep through and stain our current perspective, despite many coats of paint-years layered on top. So, there are times God may (and probably will) ask us to dig deep. Unearth unpleasant memories. Allow Him to reprocess them in the light of His love.<\/p>\n

Are you willing, no matter what your age or stage in life, for God to lead you to take a step back?\u00a0 To set aside some projects, so that you have the time and energy to follow Him there? Are you ready to trust Him to create a new frame of reference, one untainted by past hurts? Even if the healing process will be painful at times?<\/p>\n

If\/when\u00a0you are, I think you will find that stepping back can be remarkably freeing.\u00a0 As God heals damaged emotions from the past, He enables us to claim more fully His loving embrace in the present.<\/p>\n

You might find, as I have, that sometimes the best way–maybe even the only way\u2014to move forward is by stepping back.<\/p>\n

\u201cThose who wait for the lord will gain new strength<\/a>\u2026\u201d Isaiah 40:31<\/i><\/p>\n

\u201cSearch me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way<\/a>.\u201d Psalm 139:23-34<\/i><\/p>\n

\"sometimes<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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