{"id":1255,"date":"2016-03-18T14:09:37","date_gmt":"2016-03-18T19:09:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/belovedlove.org\/reflections\/?p=1255"},"modified":"2019-05-17T15:13:39","modified_gmt":"2019-05-17T20:13:39","slug":"overcoming-fear","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/belovedlove.org\/reflections\/2016\/03\/18\/overcoming-fear\/","title":{"rendered":"Overcoming Fear"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/belovedlove.org\/reflections\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/31616-Overcoming-Fear.jpg\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-1257\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-1257\" src=\"http:\/\/belovedlove.org\/reflections\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/31616-Overcoming-Fear-1024x683.jpg\" alt=\"3:16:16 Overcoming Fear\" width=\"625\" height=\"417\" srcset=\"https:\/\/belovedlove.org\/reflections\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/31616-Overcoming-Fear-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/belovedlove.org\/reflections\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/31616-Overcoming-Fear-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/belovedlove.org\/reflections\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/31616-Overcoming-Fear-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/belovedlove.org\/reflections\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/31616-Overcoming-Fear-624x416.jpg 624w, https:\/\/belovedlove.org\/reflections\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/31616-Overcoming-Fear.jpg 1800w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 625px) 100vw, 625px\" \/><\/a>by Lydia Floren<\/p>\n<p>I have discovered that I can carry a lot of fear around with me. I have a fear of failure, fear of being rejected or disrespected. I am afraid of loneliness. Sometimes I am afraid that I don\u2019t have what it takes to make and keep heartwarming, life renewing relationships. I am afraid that I am \u201cnot enough\u201d (whatever <em>that<\/em> means), <strong>and I am afraid that I can\u2019t fake it well enough to keep others from finding out.<\/strong> My fears can alter my reality, and change the way I respond to people and situations. Here\u2019s how:<\/p>\n<p><strong>I beg<\/strong><br \/>\nAnd I can act on my fears, by trying to be good enough. I try to<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>please people<\/li>\n<li>grab attention<\/li>\n<li>compete<\/li>\n<li>do the best I can to be lovable<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I beg for the love and acceptance I need so desperately. I am like a little kid whining for a treat.<br \/>\nBut the few crumbs I get from others don\u2019t satisfy my gnawing hunger.<\/p>\n<p><strong>I steal.<\/strong><br \/>\nWhen my fears overwhelm me I start believing the worst: no one could ever really love me. And desperation sets in. My response?<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Escape: I immerse myself in a project, or eat lots of chocolate, or withdraw into a book.<\/li>\n<li>Retaliate. I get-angry-and-get-even by manipulating, or just snapping someone\u2019s head off.<\/li>\n<li>Complain. I steal other people\u2019s joy by criticizing or complaining.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I steal peace and joy where I think I can find it.<br \/>\nBut the glitter is not gold.<\/p>\n<p><strong>I hide.<\/strong><br \/>\nWhen I am afraid, I tend to focus on myself: I try to<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Protect myself so I can\u2019t be rejected or hurt in the future.<\/li>\n<li>Insulate myself with popularity or position or competence.<\/li>\n<li>I keep others at arm\u2019s length so they cannot know my weaknesses and hurt me with that knowledge.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>But my hiding place is not safe, or secret.<\/p>\n<p><strong>There is a better way.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Overcoming Fear<\/strong><br \/>\nThere is a better way to be validated, and free from fear. It requires that I do something counterintuitive. I have to choose to quit looking at myself, and\u00a0instead choose to look up.<\/p>\n<p>When I take my eyes off my situation and start focusing on God, it changes everything. God is the most scary-smart [He makes MENSA look like preschool], wealthy, important, powerful person in the universe. And He loves ME. He cherishes ME. He considered me highly valuable, worth paying the price of His son\u2019s life. He has adopted ME into His royal family. His secret service protects me 24-7.<\/p>\n<p>There is nothing to fear.<\/p>\n<p>My identity, value, belonging, and calling are secure. Nothing and no one can change these &#8211; not even me. Nothing anyone else does or says can alter this inner person that I am in any way. I am a precious, unique individual. I am loved. I belong in God\u2019s family. I have a calling: to encourage and love others in my own unique way.<\/p>\n<p><strong>When I am not afraid, the world looks totally different, and I respond differently.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>I quit begging<\/strong> for others to validate me with their attention, respect, admiration. I come out of hiding, because I am 100% safe. I stop trying to grab a cheap imitation for joy wherever I can find it, because I have already received the real joy of being completely known and loved.<\/p>\n<p><strong>I start serving.<\/strong> I just want to help others to see their unique precious identity, value, belonging and calling. I want them to know the safety of living life under the protection of the God of the Universe, who loves them much more than I ever could. I am aware of God with me, and want nothing more than for Him to lead me, and empower me to love those that cross my path.<\/p>\n<p>Once I am\u00a0deeply and completely satisfied \u00a0in the waters of God\u2019s love, I can really live. My cup overflows.<\/p>\n<p>Let the joy begin!<\/p>\n<p><em>Surely goodness and loving kindness shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Psalm 23:6<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>by Lydia Floren I have discovered that I can carry a lot of fear around with me. I have a fear of failure, fear of being rejected or disrespected. I am afraid of loneliness. Sometimes I am afraid that I don\u2019t have what it takes to make and keep heartwarming, life renewing relationships. I am [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[78,464],"tags":[134,74,6,8,23],"class_list":["post-1255","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-belonging-2","category-finding-yourself","tag-anxiety","tag-belonging-to-god","tag-gods-love","tag-hope-and-encouragement","tag-perfectionism"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Overcoming Fear - Belovedlove<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/belovedlove.org\/reflections\/2016\/03\/18\/overcoming-fear\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Overcoming Fear - Belovedlove\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"by Lydia Floren I have discovered that I can carry a lot of fear around with me. 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