Overcoming Fear

by Lydia Floren

I have discovered that I can carry a lot of fear around with me. I have a fear of failure, fear of being rejected or disrespected. I am afraid of loneliness. Sometimes I am afraid that I don’t have what it takes to make and keep heartwarming, life renewing relationships. I am afraid that I am “not enough” (whatever that means), and I am afraid that I can’t fake it well enough to keep others from finding out. My fears can alter my reality, and change the way I respond to people and situations. Here’s how:

I beg
And I can act on my fears, by trying to be good enough. I try to

please people
grab attention
compete
do the best I can to be lovable

I beg for the love and acceptance I need so desperately. I am like a little kid whining for a treat.
But the few crumbs I get from others don’t satisfy my gnawing hunger.

I steal.
When my fears overwhelm me I start believing the worst: no one could ever really love me. And desperation sets in. My response?

Escape: I immerse myself in a project, or eat lots of chocolate, or withdraw into a book.
Retaliate. I get-angry-and-get-even by manipulating, or just snapping someone’s head off.
Complain. I steal other people’s joy by criticizing or complaining.

I steal peace and joy where I think I can find it.
But the glitter is not gold.

I hide.
When I am afraid, I tend to focus on myself: I try to

Protect myself so I can’t be rejected or hurt in the future.
Insulate myself with popularity or position or competence.
I keep others at arm’s length so they cannot know my weaknesses and hurt me with that knowledge.

But my hiding place is not safe, or secret.

There is a better way.

Overcoming Fear
There is a better way to be validated, and free from fear. It requires that I do something counterintuitive. I have to choose to quit looking at myself, and instead choose to look up.

When I take my eyes off my situation and start focusing on God, it changes everything. God is the most scary-smart [He makes MENSA look like preschool], wealthy, important, powerful person in the universe. And He loves ME. He cherishes ME. He considered me highly valuable, worth paying the price of His son’s life. He has adopted ME into His royal family. His secret service protects me 24-7.

There is nothing to fear.

My identity, value, belonging, and calling are secure. Nothing and no one can change these – not even me. Nothing anyone else does or says can alter this inner person that I am in any way. I am a precious, unique individual. I am loved. I belong in God’s family. I have a calling: to encourage and love others in my own unique way.

When I am not afraid, the world looks totally different, and I respond differently.

I quit begging for others to validate me with their attention, respect, admiration. I come out of hiding, because I am 100% safe. I stop trying to grab a cheap imitation for joy wherever I can find it, because I have already received the real joy of being completely known and loved.

I start serving. I just want to help others to see their unique precious identity, value, belonging and calling. I want them to know the safety of living life under the protection of the God of the Universe, who loves them much more than I ever could. I am aware of God with me, and want nothing more than for Him to lead me, and empower me to love those that cross my path.

Once I am deeply and completely satisfied in the waters of God’s love, I can really live. My cup overflows.

Let the joy begin!

Surely goodness and loving kindness shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Psalm 23:6

Prepping for Success

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by Lydia Floren

It is always soul-enriching, being with God. Why do I wait? What could possibly give me more life than spending time in His presence? Having those moments that soak into my soul?

Nothing.

Prepping for success

How can we be prepping for success? How do we minimize distractions first thing in the morning, and optimize our chances of success, in this all important meeting with The Person Who Loves Us Most? Here are a few thoughts that have helped me:

1. Restrict my daily “To Do” list to 5 items. I only allow 5 things on my to do list every day, and #1 is “Be loved by God, and listen.“

2. Plan and Prepare the night before:

Straighten up the night before, especially the area where I have my prayer/time with God.
Make this area inviting—soothing, peaceful. Pictures, flowers, music at the ready.
Get coffee set up to go automatically.
Have my journal/Bible/materials set out.
Go to bed on time, and set my alarm.

2. Keep a running task list handy. When things I need to do, or ideas I have, start crowding my mind, I can write them down and get them out of my head.

3. Continue reviewing my priorities and goals, so other things don’t creep into my life and
rob me of the most important things.

What do you do to stay focused in your daily meeting with God? Please share! I would love to hear from you!

A Recurring Struggle

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by Lydia Floren

It happened again. I got distracted, and pretty soon two hours had passed and I still hadn’t spent any time alone with God. Once again, I let other things keep me from meeting Him at the first of my day: an unfinished project, a messy house, calls to make, emails to answer. It is a recurring struggle.

I am not alone in this recurring struggle.

C.S. Lewis wrote in Mere Christianity,

“The real problem of the Christian life comes where people do not usually look for it. It comes the very moment you wake up each morning. All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving that all back; in listening to that other voice, taking that other point of view, letting that other larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing in and so on, all day. Standing back from all your natural fussing and fretting; coming in out of the wind.

“We can only do it for moments at first. But from those moments the new sort of life will be spreading through our system, because now we are letting Him work at the right part of us. It is the difference between paint, which is merely laid on the surface, and a dye or stain which soaks right through.”
Wow. Moments of “letting that other, larger, stronger quieter life come flowing in.” . Moments of joy, of peace, of finding perspective, of talking to my best friend. The more I have of these, the more I hunger for them.

Everything really does fall into place once I take the time to really connect with God, soaking in His love and presence.

Worth the effort, I think.

What are your thoughts?

What Should I Do Now? Making Plans

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by Lydia Floren

Last week in “What Should I Do Next?”, I wrote about making plans. I’m not going to lie. Planning takes time and perseverance. It is hard to make myself take a chunk of time to pray through and decide what is the best way to spend my time and resources.

But tough choices aren’t just limited to making plans.

When we face dilemmas, we ask ourselves, “What should I do now?“
Many times we are faced with dilemmas in life – difficult relationships, career decisions, parenting concerns. Everything seems muddled. We can feel totally at a loss about how to respond, or which way to go. And it stresses us out. We need wisdom beyond our own understanding.

Proverbs 2 has some great insight:
“If you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.” Prov. 2:1-5

Here’s another way to say these verses:

Steps Toward Wisdom (paraphrase of Prov. 2:1-5)

Accept and store up God’s word: make a practice of exposing yourself to the truth of God’s word and God’s presence every day. Respect it. Let it sink into your heart and spirit.
Listen: Pay attention to how God might be speaking to you in your situation. Do your best to try to understand what He is saying in your heart through His word and His presence.
ASK HIM for His perspective on your situation. Plead with Him to increase your understanding beyond what you can do on your own.
Search for God’s wisdom. Actively look for His insight. Let that be the most important thing to you, more important than the facts that you have gathered, your own conclusions, or the opinions others.

When you do these things, you will find the knowledge you seek about what your next steps should be. And you will experience just how amazing God is.

Remembering our highest priority keeps everything in perspective.
When we make our relationship with God our highest priority, He helps us put everything in perspective, and gives us wisdom beyond our own understanding.

Is your relationship with God your highest priority in life? How do your choices of how you spend your time and resources reflect that priority? What plans/steps can you make to better accept, listen, ask and search for God’s wisdom?

“And you will seek me and find me, when you search for me with all your heart. And I will be found by you, declares the Lord.” Jer. 29:12

What Should I Do Next?

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by Lydia Floren

Did you know that God is a planner? He said, “I know the plans that I have for you, plans for welfare and not calamity to give you a future and a hope.” In my opinion, part of following God is learning to ask for His wisdom, and make plans.

Plans remind me of what is most important.
Every January, I take some time to pray about the coming year, review priorities, goals and commitments. and make some plans. This time of prayerful planning helps me remind myself of what is most important, and then set goals that align accordingly.

Plans keep me from getting sidetracked.
Making plans also helps me because I am easily distracted. I have lots of interests, and it is easy for me to collect projects like some people collect stray cats. I have learned that when I pray and plan at the first of the year, and then periodically revisit those plans, I am more likely to not get sidetracked. Later in the year when I am juggling a half dozen incomplete projects, and I am driving myself crazy (ok, others, too), I can refer back to this plan and have some guidance about which time commitments to continue and which to set aside.

Plans help in answering what should I do next?
Do things go according to plan? Not always – sometimes not at all. But having the reference point of a prayfully made plan really helps when I get mired down in everyday life, and keeps me focused on what is really important. It helps me answer the questions, “What should I do next?” and “What should I do now?”

What benefits do you get from making plans? Have you prayed about any plans for this year?

Newlyweds

Pray Plan Pray

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by Lydia Floren

On my recent trip to India, one of the leaders of IBL had these three words at the top of his whiteboard: “Pray Plan Pray.”

I love this! Pray first, then plan, and then pray through your plans.

You know, the New Year is just getting underway. This is an excellent time to look back and forward, and “pray plan pray.”

Here is one way you can do this:

Praying GRACE for the New Year

Give thanks for…

Right now.
Your life: The past year. The coming one.
God’s presence and His goodness.
All God has been doing, and all He continues to do.

Release…

The past. Disappointments. Pain. Resentment. Regret. Sin. Shame. Guilt.
Expectations you have of others. And that others might have of you.
The future. Fear. Worry. Uncertainty.

Accept…

Where you are right now.
Yourself as you are: imperfect and in process.
God’s love and forgiveness.
God’s wisdom/direction for the coming year.
Responsibilities God has already given you.
Ownership of your life and your decisions.

Continue…

Praying about your priorities and goals.
Listening for God’s direction.
Outlining plans for the year.
Deciding which one or two habits to cultivate in the coming year.

Enjoy…

Each day, recognizing it for the gift that it is.
The process of prayerful planning.
God’s constant presence with you, within you – loving you, leading you, touching others through you.

Praying GRACE is a wonderful way to start the year. But however you choose to dive in to 2016, don’t forget to Pray Plan Pray.

What plans have you made for the coming year?

Someone

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Making a Difference

We all want to make a difference.

To have meaning and purpose in our lives. Does this really happen? Is it possible to have some grand purpose, to know on our deathbeds that our lives had meaning?

It depends.

You may be like me, sometimes thinking that “making a difference” means leading “feeding-the-five-thousand” type events: God working grandly through me, for all the world to see. Important people will see that I am important. I am significant. Sure, I will give God the glory, but I take secret delight in my obvious impact on the world. Good Morning America (or Women of Faith) here I come!

But God rarely works this way.

Don’t get me wrong. He does miracles every day. Jesus said, “My Father is always at His work in this world, and I too am working.” But much of what God does goes unseen, and unappreciated.

Jesus’ own life was the prime example of this. Jesus didn’t have the respect of the Important People. In fact, Important People were threatened by Jesus, because the Truth He shared often made them look bad. He spent his days walking from place to place, talking to ordinary folks about extraordinary truth, and, on occasion – mostly in out of the way places – working miracles.

God hasn’t changed. He still walks this earth and works through those willing to follow Him, touching people with His love and truth in very ordinary ways. A warm meal. A kind word. A listening ear. A cup of cold water.

And sometimes – mostly in out of the way places – He still works miracles.

God has prepared good works, that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10

When have you seen God work through your “ordinary day”? Share with us!

Want to read more? Read The Extraordinary Ordinary

The Extraordinary Ordinary

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by Lydia Floren

We spend most of our lives doing ordinary tasks. We may be stirring a pot, or bandaging a scrape, or commuting to work. We may be taking a class, or hammering a nail, or tending a sick patient.

God is in these moments.

The secret of contentment is to celebrate God’s presence in our ordinary lives. When we welcome Him in to our every-day, He blesses even the most mundane activities with a transcendence that is akin to worship.

Our ordinary is extraordinary.

How have you experienced the extraordinary ordinary?