Category Archives: Finding Direction

Planning, goal-setting, and making big decisions can be hard, but the Lord is here to guide us through them. Read specific strategies and broader ways of thinking to help through these times of transition and change.

What Should I Do Now? Making Plans

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by Lydia Floren

Last week in “What Should I Do Next?”, I wrote about making plans. I’m not going to lie. Planning takes time and perseverance. It is hard to make myself take a chunk of time to pray through and decide what is the best way to spend my time and resources.

But tough choices aren’t just limited to making plans.

When we face dilemmas, we ask ourselves, “What should I do now?“
Many times we are faced with dilemmas in life – difficult relationships, career decisions, parenting concerns. Everything seems muddled. We can feel totally at a loss about how to respond, or which way to go. And it stresses us out. We need wisdom beyond our own understanding.

Proverbs 2 has some great insight:
“If you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.” Prov. 2:1-5

Here’s another way to say these verses:

Steps Toward Wisdom (paraphrase of Prov. 2:1-5)

Accept and store up God’s word: make a practice of exposing yourself to the truth of God’s word and God’s presence every day. Respect it. Let it sink into your heart and spirit.
Listen: Pay attention to how God might be speaking to you in your situation. Do your best to try to understand what He is saying in your heart through His word and His presence.
ASK HIM for His perspective on your situation. Plead with Him to increase your understanding beyond what you can do on your own.
Search for God’s wisdom. Actively look for His insight. Let that be the most important thing to you, more important than the facts that you have gathered, your own conclusions, or the opinions others.

When you do these things, you will find the knowledge you seek about what your next steps should be. And you will experience just how amazing God is.

Remembering our highest priority keeps everything in perspective.
When we make our relationship with God our highest priority, He helps us put everything in perspective, and gives us wisdom beyond our own understanding.

Is your relationship with God your highest priority in life? How do your choices of how you spend your time and resources reflect that priority? What plans/steps can you make to better accept, listen, ask and search for God’s wisdom?

“And you will seek me and find me, when you search for me with all your heart. And I will be found by you, declares the Lord.” Jer. 29:12

What Should I Do Next?

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by Lydia Floren

Did you know that God is a planner? He said, “I know the plans that I have for you, plans for welfare and not calamity to give you a future and a hope.” In my opinion, part of following God is learning to ask for His wisdom, and make plans.

Plans remind me of what is most important.
Every January, I take some time to pray about the coming year, review priorities, goals and commitments. and make some plans. This time of prayerful planning helps me remind myself of what is most important, and then set goals that align accordingly.

Plans keep me from getting sidetracked.
Making plans also helps me because I am easily distracted. I have lots of interests, and it is easy for me to collect projects like some people collect stray cats. I have learned that when I pray and plan at the first of the year, and then periodically revisit those plans, I am more likely to not get sidetracked. Later in the year when I am juggling a half dozen incomplete projects, and I am driving myself crazy (ok, others, too), I can refer back to this plan and have some guidance about which time commitments to continue and which to set aside.

Plans help in answering what should I do next?
Do things go according to plan? Not always – sometimes not at all. But having the reference point of a prayfully made plan really helps when I get mired down in everyday life, and keeps me focused on what is really important. It helps me answer the questions, “What should I do next?” and “What should I do now?”

What benefits do you get from making plans? Have you prayed about any plans for this year?

Pray Plan Pray

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by Lydia Floren

On my recent trip to India, one of the leaders of IBL had these three words at the top of his whiteboard: “Pray Plan Pray.”

I love this! Pray first, then plan, and then pray through your plans.

You know, the New Year is just getting underway. This is an excellent time to look back and forward, and “pray plan pray.”

Here is one way you can do this:

Praying GRACE for the New Year

Give thanks for…

Right now.
Your life: The past year. The coming one.
God’s presence and His goodness.
All God has been doing, and all He continues to do.

Release…

The past. Disappointments. Pain. Resentment. Regret. Sin. Shame. Guilt.
Expectations you have of others. And that others might have of you.
The future. Fear. Worry. Uncertainty.

Accept…

Where you are right now.
Yourself as you are: imperfect and in process.
God’s love and forgiveness.
God’s wisdom/direction for the coming year.
Responsibilities God has already given you.
Ownership of your life and your decisions.

Continue…

Praying about your priorities and goals.
Listening for God’s direction.
Outlining plans for the year.
Deciding which one or two habits to cultivate in the coming year.

Enjoy…

Each day, recognizing it for the gift that it is.
The process of prayerful planning.
God’s constant presence with you, within you – loving you, leading you, touching others through you.

Praying GRACE is a wonderful way to start the year. But however you choose to dive in to 2016, don’t forget to Pray Plan Pray.

What plans have you made for the coming year?

Making a Difference

We all want to make a difference.

To have meaning and purpose in our lives. Does this really happen? Is it possible to have some grand purpose, to know on our deathbeds that our lives had meaning?

It depends.

You may be like me, sometimes thinking that “making a difference” means leading “feeding-the-five-thousand” type events: God working grandly through me, for all the world to see. Important people will see that I am important. I am significant. Sure, I will give God the glory, but I take secret delight in my obvious impact on the world. Good Morning America (or Women of Faith) here I come!

But God rarely works this way.

Don’t get me wrong. He does miracles every day. Jesus said, “My Father is always at His work in this world, and I too am working.” But much of what God does goes unseen, and unappreciated.

Jesus’ own life was the prime example of this. Jesus didn’t have the respect of the Important People. In fact, Important People were threatened by Jesus, because the Truth He shared often made them look bad. He spent his days walking from place to place, talking to ordinary folks about extraordinary truth, and, on occasion – mostly in out of the way places – working miracles.

God hasn’t changed. He still walks this earth and works through those willing to follow Him, touching people with His love and truth in very ordinary ways. A warm meal. A kind word. A listening ear. A cup of cold water.

And sometimes – mostly in out of the way places – He still works miracles.

God has prepared good works, that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10

When have you seen God work through your “ordinary day”? Share with us!

Want to read more? Read The Extraordinary Ordinary

The Secret of Surrender

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by Lydia Floren

Let me tell you a little secret about me: I am a clandestine celebrity watcher. Yes, I am one of those people who scan the headlines in the grocery checkout lane. At the hairdresser, I’ll scroll through the latest People magazine. I might even be known to [gasp] Google a star of my favorite TV show. I make excuses for this somewhat silly voyeurism: “I need to be aware of what is going on in Daniel’s world,” I’ll tell myself. But truthfully, I probably know more about some stuff (the unimportant stuff) in Hollywood, than does my actor son Daniel, who actually lives there! Besides, my “star watching” started long before Daniel chose his career path and moved to LA.

OK, now that you know my little secret, you shouldn’t be surprised that my favorite part of the Sunday paper is Parade Magazine. Which gets me to the part that might actually interest you.

Not too long ago Parade featured an interview with actor Hugh Jackman, aka “Wolverine”, of the X-Men.

In the article, Jackman unabashedly acknowledged his Christianity, and described how his faith is intertwined with his work. Here are his words, as quoted in Parade:

“I’m a religious person. This is going to sound weird to you. In Chariots of Fire, the runner, Eric Liddell, says, ‘When I run, I feel His pleasure.’ And I feel that pleasure when I act and it’s going well, particularly onstage. I feel what everyone’s searching for, the feeling that unites us all. Call it ‘God’. Before I go onstage every night, I pause and dedicate the performance to God, in the sense of ‘Allow me to surrender’. When you allow yourself to surrender to the story, to the character, to the night, to the audience, transcendence happens. And when that happens, there is nothing like it on the planet. It’s the moment people experience when they fall in love, which is equally frightening and exciting. That’s what it feels like.”

I think God wants each of us to experience moments like Liddell’s and Jackman’s. These moments come when we surrender ourselves to Him. When we relinquish control and just trust Him, we become a conduit for His Holy Spirit to work through us.

God wants us to “feel His pleasure”, as we do what He made us to do.

When we do, it is as if Jesus murmurs in our ear, “Well done, my good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of your Master.”

How have you seen God work through you when you surrender?

p.s. Here’s a link to the Parade article on Hugh Jackman:
http://parade.com/426939/dotsonrader/the-hugh-you-never-knew/

Foundation Stones (Rocks Series Part 3)

Rocks In My Head: Rocks Series Part I

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by Lydia Floren

I have struggled with perfectionism a long time. Perfectionism is based in the false idea “you must be perfect to be OK.” This lie is embedded deep in my head, like a big rock surrounded by hard earth. In order to dislodge it, I have to chip away at the dirt and debris that surrounds it. With a boulder like this, it can take persistent effort to get it out of my thought process. But if I keep at it, sooner or later the rock will shift, and then shift a little more. Eventually, it will loosen to the point that it just tumbles down the hill, and out of my life. I experience a “paradigm shift”: a sudden change in the way I look at the world. It’s like a prism in the sun—when it turns, the light catches it at another angle, and a different color is revealed.

So far, my struggle with perfectionism has been a slow process. I’m not going to lie. I’ve been chipping at this problem for a long while, and I would love for it to roll on out of my life RIGHT NOW. But so far it hasn’t.

Truth seeps into my spirit, loosening the dirt. Day by day, the rock shifts, often imperceptibly. It is not until I step back and see the big picture that I can truly appreciate the progress God has made over the years. Slowly, steadily, He is dislodging this perfectionism lie from my life.

We all have big rocks in our heads, lies that have been ingrained in us for years. Some folks, like me,struggle with perfectionism. Others have “boulders” of blame, or negativism, or materialism. The process to extricate these lies can be arduous, because their tentacles wrap around many thought patterns. All the more reason to keep at it, and to occasionally look back, and see how far we have come.

You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. John 8:32

What rocks do you carry in your life? What truths is God using to dislodge those rocks?

Big Decisions, No Regrets

NOMB Part III: Curbing the Impulse to Fix Myself

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NOMB (None Of My Business) Part III: Curbing the Impulse to Fix Myself

by Lydia Floren

One time, when I was particularly aware of my failures and inadequacies (this happens a lot to perfectionists, BTW), I decided I would make a list of of each of my faults. It took awhile. It was quite a list. Finally I finished, and then wrote this prayer in my journal:

“OK, God, here are all the things that need changing in me. Where do you want me to start first?”

Here was His answer: “Why don’t you start with the perfectionist part?”

I was stunned. And then I laughed.

Perfectionism wasn’t even on my list. But once I thought about it, perfectionism, in a sense, WAS my list. The very act of writing down that string of deficiencies was my attempt to perfect myself, albeit with God’s blessing. But God had different ideas of what needed fixing. He knew I needed to change my tendency to perfect myself at all, and the audacity, in fact, to think that I could. Suddenly, I saw how prideful and foolish it was to attempt any self-improvement on my own.

I not only need God’s strength to carry out any change in myself, I need His wisdom about what really needs changing. His words, His wisdom, didn’t come from within me, it came from Him, and it is changing my life. Slowly. Recovering from perfectionism is a long process.

Not only are we unable to fix others’ problems, we are not even very good at fixing our own. We are quite blind to our blind spots. We don’t perceive the fixed false beliefs deep in our psyches that are obstacles to freedom and joy. And when God shows us one of those blind spots, only He can help us navigate the complicated path needed to free us from the lies and lead us into truth.

This is why Paul says, “I don’t even judge myself.” God is The Master Physician. He alone sees the big picture of my life, the unseen pain and distorted misinformation that unconsciously drives destructive thought and action. He alone knows the best way to blast me out.

God has serious skills.

Recent Series: NOMB Part I: Letting God Be The Fixer, NOMB Part II: Curbing The Impulse To Fix Others

NOMB Part II: Curbing The Impulse To Fix Others

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by Lydia Floren

NOMB (None Of My Business) Part II: Curbing The Impulse To Fix Others

When I see someone else’s struggle and “feel their pain”, I want so much to make it better. WHAT’s a person to DO? Here are a few tips:

#1 Face yourself:

Check your motives. Be honest with yourself about why you want to make it right. Your urge to fix is probably not as altruistic as it seems. Our motives are often mixed: sure we want to help, but we may also want to avoid the discomfort of watching others suffer or the annoyance of their “imperfection.”
Accept your limits in understanding and skill, and the specific ways God has asked you to serve in this world.

#2 Remind yourself of truth:

Pain is important. We are programmed to avoid pain at any cost, but experiencing pain is necessary; the stove’s heat or the wind’s cold prompt us to practical action. Leprosy is a malady where the nerves that detect pain are destroyed. Much of the disfigurement of leprosy comes because of the lack of feeling, not from the disease itself: a burn goes undetected, or an infection untreated, which leads to irrevocable tissue damage. Pain notifies us of danger or a need to change, even if that is just taking better care of ourselves.
Suffering is a part of life on earth. “In the world,” Jesus said, “you will have tribulation. But take courage: I have overcome the world.” He understands that we will have suffering—He experienced it himself many times. But he also knows that accepting hardship is not admitting defeat: far from it. God works all things out for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes.
God uses all the pain in our lives, and sometimes He allows us to suffer for a reason. If He does so, He can be trusted: He has a good purpose in it, either for us or for someone else.
Your fixing can actually do more harm than good. What you think is helpful for someone else can often be downright harmful; how could you possibly know?

#3 Pray:

Thank God that
He is at work in this situation, and good will come of it.
His love for you and your loved ones is much greater than your own.
His ideas, His strategy, His perspective, His understanding are far beyond you’re own.
He will let you know if He wants you to do something in this situation.
He will give you the self-control to resist the urge to step in where you don’t belong, and the courage to step forward when He leads you to act.
Talk to God about the specifics. He already knows what is going on, but also knows that you need the listening ear of a loved one to hear your concerns. (It really helps. Trust me.)
Ask God what He wants you to do or not do.
Listen for His answers.

#4 Act: There are many ways God MAY ask you to help. You might be led to do one or a combination of the following:

Intercede. Often when I see difficulties in another’s life, I feel like God’s primary request is for me is to pray for that person. This is not a last resort. It is actually the most powerful action I can take because prayers invite the power of God’s spirit into the situation. Perfect power and perfect love, working on the problem! Who doesn’t want that?
Encourage. The most important thing a person can do–outside of praying–for someone in difficulty is to encourage them. Encouragement can be as simple as a smile, a hug, a note, or a shared laugh. It is easy to encourage via phone, text, Facebook, or email. A moment of thoughtfulness can make a world of difference in someone’s day, especially when they are going through a hard time.
Listen. God gave us two ears and one mouth, right? Listening is a powerful encouragement. Giving someone a safe place to articulate a problem or vent emotion is actually therapeutic. I have seen this over and over in the practice of medicine.
Serve. Practical acts of service, such as a gift, a visit, a meal, an offer to babysit are “cups of cold water” given in Jesus’ name. They help lighten another’s load in the most literal sense.

“It’s God’s problem. He should worry”
To be honest, it is a relief to acknowledge my limits, and accept my inability to fix others. When I do, I find I worry less. I pray more. My focus centers on God’s sufficiency rather than specific problems. And I am more likely to pay attention when God leads me to how and when I should act, or if it is best for me just to concentrate on prayer.

At most I might be a small part of a solution to someone’s problem. I am certainly not meant to be The Solution. Only God can be that; when I try, I just get in the way.

Accepting my limits frees me to do what God has already asked me to do—what we are all called to do in this world: love people. This love may take the form of prayer, encouragement, listening, and/or serving.

It’s our job to love folks. It’s God’s job to fix them.

Recent Series: NOMB Part I: Letting God Be The Fixer; Patience