Author Archives: Lydia Floren

No Condemnation

There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1 NIV)

Really? Because I feel condemnation all the time. I am not good enough. I fail. I screw up. I am selfish, willful, petty, uncontrolled, petulant, uncaring, grumpy, reclusive, controlling, critical, judgmental, prideful, gluttonous. And then I am paralyzed by guilt, remorse, shame, embarrassment.

And Satan claps his hands: he “gets” me with my sins, he “keeps me” with the guilt.

There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Really. I must face the reality of my imperfections and accept them, but at the same time know that no matter what I have done, and what I will do, I am not condemned. I am not held hostage to ongoing guilt, pervading doom, defeat, anger, resentment, worry. I do not have to–I am not supposed to–live in such an environment.

Being in Christ Jesus is having the power and the courage to face my sins every day, and receive forgiveness for them. Every day. It is the easiest and the hardest thing.

“I can do it myself” The biggest most difficult sin I have to face—every day—is that I think I can do a better job of directing my life than God can. There is a two year old in my head stomping her foot declaring “I can do it myself.” I am convinced that my way will make me happy, bring me joy.

How many times do I have to fall down and scrape my knee before I willingly reach up and grab his big comforting hand–always extended–and choose to hang on?

As many times as it takes.

How much longer will he extend His hand to me? How long before he grows tired of my petulance and rebelliousness? My disrespect? My not believing that he truly does love me, and will lead me and take care of me if I let him?

Until I die. That is how long his hand remains extended. That’s how much time I have.

Am I really going to waste whatever time I have been given by insisting on my own flawed way? Am I really going to miss out on joy in this life, and in even having a life after death, because of my willfulness?

I hope not.

Once I start to get this, I stop. Turn around. And run into his arms. There is no condemnation there. Only love, and His delight that I am there with Him.

In Christ Jesus, I can relax and truly begin to live.

Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death. (Romans 8:1-2 NIV)

Fruit of the Month

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The gift of fruit

When I was first in private practice, my partner and I would receive many gifts at the holidays, both from patients and from other physicians. One of the most memorable presents I got, my first year out, was a gift that kept on giving: a membership in a Fruit-of-the-Month club. Each month a box would appear at my doorstep carefully packed with a luscious seasonal fruit: oranges one month, apples the next, then pears, plums, grapefruit, kiwi, etc. Delightful. There was always more than I could possibly eat, and I would share with the staff and friends.

God has given us beautiful fruit to enjoy.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. –(Galatians 5:22-23 NASB)

What if I decided to BE the fruit of the month this year? What if each month, I focus on just one of the fruits of the spirit—learn to better understand, absorb, embrace it–and then share it with those around me?

Love

Joy

Peace

Patience

Kindness

Goodness

Faithfulness

Gentleness

Self-control

What a great thing to deposit on someone’s doorstep every month!

Care to join me?

February’s fruit is fitting: LOVE

How can we better understand, absorb, embrace, and share God’s love? How do you box it up? How does it get delivered?

I would love to hear your thoughts, ideas and experiences.

the fruit of the spirit is love joy peace

Joy = Love + Laughter

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Everyone loves to laugh. Why is that?

Laughter is infectious. If you are around someone who is bent over laughing (and also maybe about to pee their pants if they are a certain age), you immediately smile. And if they keep on laughing, even if they don’t say a word, you start to laugh with them, and try to get their attention to find out what is so funny, so you can share the joke.

Laughter, like a good cry, is soul cleansing – but unlike tears, laughter doesn’t usually leave you exhausted or melancholy. On the contrary, it is invigorating.

Laughter is bright. Not in an ethereal-lumninous-sort of way, but in a blinding-flash-of-light kind of way. In fact, you could say

Laughter is audible sunshine.

Laughter is refreshing, especially when someone is laughing at themselves. It reminds you not to take yourself too seriously.

Laughter is a game changer. When your sense of humor is tickled, and you start to laugh, whatever foul mood, or pity party, you might be experiencing tends to evaporate.

Laughter is a gift from God. Think about it: God invented laughter, just as He did everything else we know and experience. He programmed us each with our funny-o-meter. And here’s an interesting concept: God laughs.

God laughs? Of course He does. In fact, I bet He laughs a lot. No one could create some of the amazing quirky creatures in our world without a lively sense of humor. He surely chuckles, as any loving parent would, at the many funny things we say and do. And He must certainly laugh – in that deep satisfied way – when his children step into joy.

You will make known to me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.
Psalm 16:11 NASB

Joy is the hallmark of a person who lives in God’s presence. Such a person loves. And smiles. And laughs.

You might say

Joy = Love + Laughter.

Laugh Out Loud

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I have noticed recently that my husband Andrew is fast becoming a Facebook Junkie. This puzzled me for awhile. He has always been a weather watcher (9 inches of snow here yesterday!) And sports enthusiast (did you know that Drew Brees throws more accurately than an Olympic archer?) But Facebook? Andrew?

Then the other day I was in the next room and heard him laugh out loud. Please understand: Andrew has a keen and very dry sense of humor (in my opinion one of his most endearing traits). He finds many things amusing, but doesn’t often laugh out loud. So when I heard him cackling, I wandered into the living room to find out what was so funny. He was sitting in front of his computer reading this post from our friend Shannon in South Carolina. My lightbulb went on. Mystery solved. Andrew enjoys Facebook because it makes him laugh.

Laughter is one of the most enjoyable things in life, isn’t it? Sunsets On the Beach are spectacular, of course, and a Shared Moment with a Friend is priceless, but a good belly laugh? That has to be right up there on the List of Life’s Best Experiences.

What makes us laugh? The ludicrous, I suppose. The unexpected. The Quirky. I don’t know. I’m no humor expert. (Is there such a thing?) But I am an expert at “funny.” As are you. We all know “funny” when we see it, because we each own a built-in funny-o-meter. When it goes off we laugh out loud.

Laugh Out Loud

Share your laughs with us. Please send us clips/pictures/etc that trigger your funny-o-meter. We will do our best to pass them along.

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Here is another “funny” we ran across recently:

A Prayer for the New Year, by Lydia Floren

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A Prayer for the New Year

by Lydia Floren

Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi
Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace;
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is error, truth;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
And where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, Grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console;
To be understood as to understand;
To be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Lord, thank you for loving me through the words and actions of those around me. Thank you for loving me when you have sent someone to:

Lend a hand with a car stuck in snow.
Listen to a triumph or heartache.
Bring a meal.
Give an unexpected gift.
Write a message of hope.
Speak encouragement.
Give a hug.
Share a smile.

Thank you that we each have something to give, something that has been given to us, and that we each give to others in our own unique way.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. Tune and polish me, and then play me with your Maestro’s touch. Lift a melody of your love through me, for those who cross my path.

Sarah McLachlan – “Prayer of St. Francis”

Pushing the RESET button–Donuts and Do-Overs

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One of my happiest childhood memories started out poorly. I was 6 years old on Saturday morning. My two siblings and I were already squabbling. After several minutes of screaming (and crabby parents) my mom made a dramatic announcement:

“Y’all listen up. We are all going to start our day over. Everyone go back to bed and stay there. In a few minutes I will let you know when it’s time to get up.”

Our arguments gave way to giggles as we climbed back beneath the sheets, curious at this unexpected turn of events. Sure enough, after a little while she called down the hall “Time to get up! breakfast!” We jumped out of bed, and bounded into the kitchen to discover my dad had snuck out and gotten donuts — a rare treat in our house back then.

It turned out to be a great day.

Many years later I still remember the rush of excitement, the dramatic shift of mood that morning — the power of choosing to starting over.

The power of starting over—a picture of God’s grace.

Every day God invites us to a “do-over,” to get our day going with the joy of a fresh start. He doesn’t want us to rehash old problems and issues. He wants us to let them go, just as He has let them go for us.

We never have to be stuck in our old habits of condemnation, defeat, worry, addiction, unforgiveness, perfectionism, or people-pleasing. God does not want us to be. That is why He came: to set us free.

I have to admit, it is hard for me, a recovering perfectionist, to push the RESET button of God’s grace every day. I want to get it right. Do it myself. Without Him. I have to remind myself that “getting it right” can only happen WITH Him — if I get it right in His timing, His power, with His presence. Receiving His grace, starting fresh, requires that I acknowledge to myself and to God that I need Him. Every day. Throughout the day.

God’s Grace is the RESET button that releases us from condemnation and frees us to truly live in joy.

As this new year begins, resolve to push the RESET button early and often.

Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death. Romans 8:1-2 NASB

This is the day that the lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:34 ESV

“Do not call to mind the former things, Or ponder things of the past.
“Behold, I will do something new, Now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it?
I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, Rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:18-20 NASB

We would love to hear from you:
• Do you have a “do-over” story?

• What helps you remember to push the reset button?

Share your ideas/pictures/stories!
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My reminder to push the reset button!

Crunch Time

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It’s crunch time. The week before Christmas, and for us Event-Planners (see The Perfect Holidays) there are thousand details to attend to before The Holidays. There are Christmas presents to wrap, groceries to buy, a house to clean, food to cook, relatives to see (or feel guilty about not seeing), Christmas tree to decorate, school programs to attend, teacher presents to send, cookies to bake, cards to address, and –in our house anyway–football to watch (how ‘bout them Packers?).

All those thoughts of peace and joy at the holiday have vanished as we round the curve for The Final Stretch. We are a jockey riding a horse named Holiday Expectations, high in the stirrups on the straightaway, whipping up momentum to carry us through to the finish. (And frankly at this point we don’t really care about winning, we just want to cross the line in one piece.)

And the last thing on our mind is quiet reflection.

Quiet reflection. [sigh]

An oasis. [ Big Sigh ]

A calm in the middle of the storm. [Big Sigh x 2]

A pipedream? [blink]

Our heart says:
Quiet reflection. Yes, this is what you need. This is what will set things right.

Our mind shouts:
This is not happening. Are you crazy? There is no time for this. There is way too much to do.

OK mind, HEAR THIS TRUTH:
You are too busy not to pray.

Now–In our busiest time– it is doubly important to stay committed to 30+ minutes a day connecting with God in solitude and silence.

God knows. (hellooooo. He IS GOD. He knows Everything.) He knows all the things on your to do list, and even some you forgot to write down. [Now don’t stop reading to start thinking about what these might be.] He knows what you expect of yourself and why, and what others (you think) expect of you. And He definitely knows your energy level and your limits usually MUCH better than you do.

He wants more for you, and less from you–less activity anyway. He wants different things. What he expects of you—what He is guiding you to do– is doable; it is less stressful, and way more fun. Jesus said

“Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest.”

[Rest—doesn’t that sound wonderful?]

“Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30 NASB)

Take a minute and just breathe in those words:

“Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

Remind yourself: There is plenty of time to do in this day what He would have me do, without rushing.

Try THIS:
1. Find your to do list. Put everything you can think of on it.
2. Set it down (turn it over so you won’t keep glancing back at it), and pray:

Father I leave this list at Your feet. Please direct this day, and help me to know what you would have me do, what are the most important things. Direct this day. Thank you that you are within me, and will guide me in each step, including all the unexpected things that this day holds.

3. Get out a fresh page, and number it one to five. (No cheating – you can’t put for #2 “do everything on my other to do list.”)

TO DO:
1. 30+ minutes a day in God’s presence, soaking in His love, remembering His wisdom, seeking His guidance.
2. ____________
3. ____________
4. ____________
5. ____________

Pray:

Father, thank You that there is plenty of time to do in this day what You would have me do.

Thank you that you know my limitations of time and energy and endurance, even if/when I forget them.
Thank You that You will lead me to do the most important things, and lay aside those that are less crucial (although they may seem most urgent right now.)
Thank You that You accomplish what concerns me. That as I restore my soul in You, and fill up with Your presence, I fill up with Your peace and purpose and joy as well. I reclaim life, and reject worry and stress.
Thank You that I only have one person to please in life—You–and what you want is simple: my love and trust.
Thank You that You really do know what is best, and I can trust Your presence within me as You guide me this day.
Thank You that I am protected by You, even from my own compulsions. Help me to remember to live in Your care, to dwell in the shelter of the Most High.

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. (Psalm 91:1 NASB)

Shine Your Heart with God’s Love

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I love silver. I have collected many pieces of silver over the years and have probably given away more than I own! Below is a note I have given some people with their gift of silver, a reminder to be loved, and to love:

My prayer for you with this one piece is that it would be a reminder to you to polish your heart with the sweet presence of God, your loving Creator, every day, so that He can shine through you.

When this piece of silver darkens and dulls, and you get out the polish and start buffing, ask yourself….

“How is my quiet time going? Does my heart feel tarnished and faded? Am I restoring my soul every day in God’s presence, being aware of His love, filled with it, and overflowing with energy as I love others? Or is my life consumed with ‘to do’ lists and busy-ness?”

You may have to set aside the polish for a bit in order to make time for that most important thing—spending time with God, and being filled with His amazing love. His refreshing presence reminds you that polishing your heart is so much more beneficial for you (and those around you) that buffing a piece of silver, or completing any other number of worthwhile tasks.

Remember.

Be loved, and then love.

It’s the most important thing.

We love because He first loved us (1 John 4:19 NKJV)

The Perfect Holidays

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The Perfect Holidays

by Lydia Floren

“Hon, how bout I take care of Thanksgiving dinner this year?”, Andrew asked me a couple of weeks before this year’s holiday. I gave him “the look,” – the “are you crazy?” look. I know what his question meant. If he “takes care” of Thanksgiving dinner it means we will go out, very likely to Burger King, his (I’m not lying) favorite restaurant. And then I smiled, because I knew that underneath his question – and he was quite sincere in his offer, BTW – what he was really asking me was to remember not to stress out over the fast-approaching holidays.

Being a mom, especially at the holidays, is hard.

You are the producer for the “biggest show on earth”, creating “memories for a lifetime”. And you also happen to be the director, writer, actor, stagehand, caterer, props person, sound and lighting tech, cameraman, set maker, stylist, promoter, event planner, waitress, cook… and of course, custodian. You have expectations, and standards – your own and Martha Stewart’s – for what “success” at the holidays must look like. And year after year, you throw yourself into the fray, trying yet again to achieve the elusive “perfect memory.”

I have chased perfection many holidays: ribbon-decorated baskets filled with homemade treats for neighbors, wrapped gifts mailed to 20 (count ‘em) different relatives, Christmas cards – complete with letter, personal note and family picture – sent to 100 of our closest friends and family, two dressed turkeys with all the trimmings, matching sweaters for the Christmas Eve service, a personally cut tree piled high with gifts, a lovely party for the office and another for a few friends, the school play and the church musical. Unfortunately I also know the cost of such “perfection”: stress, anxiety, exhaustion, short tempers.

Perfection is an ever-changing specter

It vanishes just when you close your hand around it. The irony is, when you chase after it, you are certain not to achieve it. What happens (and believe me, I know from many years of experience) is that you will miss joy altogether.

I suspect that what you really want this holiday, as I do and as I am sure your family does, is not really perfection, it is joy. Don’t make the mistake of chasing perfection to try to achieve joy. The two are in completely opposite directions. As you neglect everything else in your drive for perfection, you stress yourself out, and stress out the people around you. Somewhere in your head, you reason that those you love must see how important the “perfect holiday” is, and must do everything in their power to help you accomplish it. It is for them, after all. But is it? For them? Or for you, so that you can feel good about yourself for one brief moment in time?

In your drive to “succeed” you are choosing to fail in what you really want most, and certainly what your family wants most: joy, fun, contentment, peace, for your family and yourself.

If you are not careful, the holidays will become something they dread (as you often do) instead of something they look forward to. What you dread is the never-ending to do list, the nagging sense of not ever doing enough, or doing it right. What they dread is the tension, the crabbiness, the rush to finish and do and go and see.

So change your goal this season.

Change your goal of what “the perfect holiday” is. And then change your plans. It won’t be easy. If you thought trying to achieve perfection was hard work, try the work of changing your expectations. It takes intention to reprogram after years of input from Southern Living, Real Simple [boy is that an oxymoron of a magazine], and every TV commercial from October through December. But this is effort that truly pays dividends.

Remember that a “joyful holiday” is not perfect. It is the lopsided tree you got from the lot this year,that someone forgot to water so it turned brown before Christmas. It’s the turkey that looks great on the outside, but is hard as a rock, still frozen, when you tried to slice it. It is the sweet potato casserole lighting on fire. It is homemade presents, and paper chains on the tree. It is ordering takeout on Christmas Eve. It is everyone going to church in whatever outfit they happen to have on. It is the Christmas letter mailed out in January (if it gets mailed out at all). It is gifts from the thrift store, a puzzle with a missing piece, planning meals around football games. Inviting someone new to dinner. Or going out. For dinner. (At least considering the idea.) It is a mom who is relaxed and laughing and having fun. Because just as “when momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy” the converse is also true: When momma is happy, everyone else tends to be happy, too.

Burger King for Thanksgiving? No, it didn’t happen this year. Not quite there yet. But I am getting closer.