Author Archives: Lydia Floren

Belonging

by Lydia Floren

A few years ago–well, maybe more than a few–“Cheers” was a popular TV show, and launched some major acting careers. (Woody Harrelson, Ted Danson, Kirsti Allen). The show revolved around a group of people who became friends by hanging out at a bar together.

The theme song of Cheers goes like this:

“Sometimes you want to go Where everybody knows your name, And they’re always glad you came; You want to be where you can see, Our troubles are all the same; You want to be where everybody knows your name.”

Don’t we all want a place where “everybody knows our name, and they’re always glad you came?” Sure we do. We want to feel welcome, a part of things. We want to have that intimate group that knows and loves us, and is always glad to see us.

A sense of belonging is not just something we want–it’s something we need. God made us relational creatures: we are all hardwired with the drive to belong.

But there are times in life when we don’t feel like we belong. We may have just moved to a new town, and haven’t yet made friends. We may feel a little wobbly in a new job, or are finding our way in a new community. We may be isolated by illness, or language, or culture. We may feel “unsafe” or misunderstood.

But no matter how we feel, we can be certain of this: if God has put us somewhere, that is where we belong. And whatever situation we face, God will provide for all of our needs, including our need to feel a part of things.

Sure, there are times when no human arms welcome us, no voices call out our name in joyful greeting. But God provides in His own unique way. He sends a beautiful sunrise, or a birdsong, a dog’s wagging tail. He refreshes us with a warm breeze, a new insight, a fond memory. He encourages us with a message from an old friend or an invitation from someone new. And most of all, He welcomes us with His tender spirit, constantly calling out our name in love.

Because we know we belong to Him, and belong where He has placed us, we can step into each day confident that our loving Father is with us – within us – providing for our needs before we even ask Him.

And we can be certain that, when it comes time to step into our forever home, the one He is preparing for us right now, a crowd of folks will be waiting for us.

And everyone – everyone – will know our name.

I have called you by name; you are Mine! Isaiah 43:1

Your Father knows what you need before you ask Him. Matt. 6:8

What unique ways has God met your need for belonging?

Light In the Shadow

Light in the Shadow

by Lydia Floren

I am slumped on a chair beside ICU bed #5. I’m trying to catch a few zzz’s after a fitful night on the waiting room couch. My loved one, tethered to her bed by a dozen tubes and wires, miraculously sleeps. The smells, the sounds, are so foreign. And frightening. Yet I nod off…

beep beep beep beep BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.

“Huh? what’s that??!!”

My eyes fly open, and turn to the bed. A heartbeat traces steadily on the
monitor overhead. Her chest rises and falls, rises and falls. I let out a breath. And then push the call button. After a few minutes the nurse steps in. She glances at her patient, and then moves over to check the IV.

Oh. OK. She’s not concerned. Must be a problem with the IV. OK, good.

“Ma’am, if you will step outside, for a few minutes, I will change the IV out, and clean her up a little bit.” Her eyes smile at me, and somehow her voice does too. I step out.

She’s so compassionate. How does she do that, surrounded day after day out by such anxious, hurting souls?

I walk down the hall. I’m anxious. Hurting. I walk and I wonder, reflecting.

There is a shadow of death in the ICU. It flickers in the eyes of the staff, wafts thru the smell of antiseptic, echos in the clangs of bed adjustments. But whether we realize it or not, we live in this shadow every day.

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil,”. David said.

Fear no evil? How can that be? It was not because there was lack of evil, or death in David’s world. He felt the evil. he experienced it. Yet it didn’t frighten him. He explains.
.
“For you are with me. Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”

He did not fear because God was with him, guiding and protecting with His rod and staff.

Christ conquered death. For each of his children, death is not the end, but the transition into a brighter, more beautiful forever, one with no shadows at all. And between here and there, He guides and protects us every minute, with His compassion, His presence, His rod of protection and staff of guidance. Isaiah described Christ’s time on earth this way:

The people walking in darkness have seen a great light, on those living in the land of the shadow of death, a light has dawned. Is. 9:2 NIV

Christ is our light, our hope, our life in the shadows of every day. He does not disappoint.

God’s Gift to the World

“Oh, she thinks she’s God’s gift to the world.”

Have you ever heard someone say that? Or said it yourself? I know I have. When I have made that snarky comment, I really mean, “She is soooo conceited. She is totally self-focused. She only cares about what matters to her. She never thinks about anyone but herself.”

HMMM. “Self-focused”? “Always thinking about herself”? Sounds a lot like me sometimes, especially when I am having a pity party. (BTW, my pity party may have many invitees, but only one person will show up: me!)

God’s gift to the world.
In my prayers this morning, I learned to see that phrase, “God’s gift to the world,” in a whole different light. I was sharing my discouragement and discontent with God, (OK complaining ☺ He is such a patient listener!) and then I felt Him telling me:

“You are my blessing to the world. To the people you touch, the lives you reach. You alone can touch and reach people in your own unique way.”

Huh.

You know, when you look at it like that, every person is God’s gift to the world. We are each unique creations. No one can love someone else exactly like we can. And no one else will have the encounters we have this day. Because we will never pass this way again.

Each person is unique, and each moment is unique.

Each encounter is an opportunity to love someone in our own unique way.

You, my dear friend, are God’s gift to the world. So today, have a blast blessing those around you in your own unique way!

Enjoy who you are. Love the person in front of you. Live in the abundance of God’s love.

I will give thanks to you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14

Catch & Release

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Catch and Release

by Lydia Floren

My friend Derek is really good at catching fish. He actually enters fishing contests (I didn’t even know there was such a thing) and wins. One time he won a truck—a new truck, mind you. In a fishing contest. Amazing. Now me? Not so much. I can literally count on one hand the number of fish I have caught in my whole life. (And not for lack of trying.)

Catch and Release

So frankly I have never quite understood the reason for catch and release rules – where you actually catch a fish and then throw it back in the water. This makes no sense. If I manage to hook a fish, by goodness I ought to be able to do whatever I want with it. (Not that I really know what to do with one when I catch it!) But apparently there are lots of people (like Derek) out there who actually catch enough fish that someone had to enact this “catch and release” rule, just to keep the fish population at a healthy level, so all of us other poor shmo’s might have a fighting chance of hooking our third or fourth lifetime fish.

My personal catch and release rule

But I have my own personal “catch and release” rule, that makes infinitely more sense to me. Here’s my logic: if I catch a fish, and I just leave it lying around – I don’t either cook it and eat it or put it in the freezer – pretty soon the whole house will start to stink. There are very few smells worse than the stench of rotting fish. My catch and release rule is very pragmatic:

If by some miracle you catch a fish, and aren’t going to do something with it, you better release it, so it doesn’t stink up the house.

Catching sin, releasing guilt

Lots of times, when I “catch” the truth that I have sinned, I let it hang around, stinking up my life with guilt and shame. Why? Maybe

Pride. I can’t believe that I could do – or did do – something like that. So I deny it.
Self-punishment. By some warped thought process, I think if I keep it around, and beat myself up enough, maybe that will make it OK.
Control. I am trying to fix it myself. I worry over it, trying to figure out how to make it go away. Instead of fixing it, it just sits there. Stinking.

God wants us to catch, and then release our sin – to be free of it – every day.

Today, ask God to show you where you have sinned, and then catch it: Admit it to yourself and to Him. Choose to receive His forgiveness. Let Him take it – and you – off the hook.

And then release it. Let it go. Let go of guilt and shame, of regrets and should-have’s. Let go of the idea that you can make this right on your own. Let go of control, and let God lead you in how to be permanently rid of this sin-habit, so it doesn’t stink up your life.

God is faithful and reliable. If we confess our sins, he forgives them and cleanses us from everything we’ve done wrong. 1 John 1:9

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. John 8:36

Choose Life

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by Lydia Floren

Easter is all about life. Nothing says “life” like budding flowers, and chirping birds, and greening leaves, so it makes perfect sense to celebrate Easter in the spring. “I came,” Jesus said, “that they might have life, and have it abundantly.” (John 19:10) This abundant life is not just about heaven. God invites us to experience this rich life now. Today. Everyday.

Because of Christ’s sacrifice, we have the option of living an abundant life. But God doesn’t force this on us. We get to choose whether to embrace God’s love and follow Him, or to continue on our own destructive path.

This is a choice between life and death, as Deuteronomy 30 points out:

I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to His voice, and hold fast to Him. For the Lord is your life. Deut. 30:19-20

This Easter, choose life: live the life you were created to live.
Resolve to

Love God
Listen to His voice
Hold tight to Him

And then keep making that choice over and over again. Because the Lord IS your life.

Real life begins with Him. Real life can only be found in Him.

Overcoming Fear

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by Lydia Floren

I have discovered that I can carry a lot of fear around with me. I have a fear of failure, fear of being rejected or disrespected. I am afraid of loneliness. Sometimes I am afraid that I don’t have what it takes to make and keep heartwarming, life renewing relationships. I am afraid that I am “not enough” (whatever that means), and I am afraid that I can’t fake it well enough to keep others from finding out. My fears can alter my reality, and change the way I respond to people and situations. Here’s how:

I beg
And I can act on my fears, by trying to be good enough. I try to

please people
grab attention
compete
do the best I can to be lovable

I beg for the love and acceptance I need so desperately. I am like a little kid whining for a treat.
But the few crumbs I get from others don’t satisfy my gnawing hunger.

I steal.
When my fears overwhelm me I start believing the worst: no one could ever really love me. And desperation sets in. My response?

Escape: I immerse myself in a project, or eat lots of chocolate, or withdraw into a book.
Retaliate. I get-angry-and-get-even by manipulating, or just snapping someone’s head off.
Complain. I steal other people’s joy by criticizing or complaining.

I steal peace and joy where I think I can find it.
But the glitter is not gold.

I hide.
When I am afraid, I tend to focus on myself: I try to

Protect myself so I can’t be rejected or hurt in the future.
Insulate myself with popularity or position or competence.
I keep others at arm’s length so they cannot know my weaknesses and hurt me with that knowledge.

But my hiding place is not safe, or secret.

There is a better way.

Overcoming Fear
There is a better way to be validated, and free from fear. It requires that I do something counterintuitive. I have to choose to quit looking at myself, and instead choose to look up.

When I take my eyes off my situation and start focusing on God, it changes everything. God is the most scary-smart [He makes MENSA look like preschool], wealthy, important, powerful person in the universe. And He loves ME. He cherishes ME. He considered me highly valuable, worth paying the price of His son’s life. He has adopted ME into His royal family. His secret service protects me 24-7.

There is nothing to fear.

My identity, value, belonging, and calling are secure. Nothing and no one can change these – not even me. Nothing anyone else does or says can alter this inner person that I am in any way. I am a precious, unique individual. I am loved. I belong in God’s family. I have a calling: to encourage and love others in my own unique way.

When I am not afraid, the world looks totally different, and I respond differently.

I quit begging for others to validate me with their attention, respect, admiration. I come out of hiding, because I am 100% safe. I stop trying to grab a cheap imitation for joy wherever I can find it, because I have already received the real joy of being completely known and loved.

I start serving. I just want to help others to see their unique precious identity, value, belonging and calling. I want them to know the safety of living life under the protection of the God of the Universe, who loves them much more than I ever could. I am aware of God with me, and want nothing more than for Him to lead me, and empower me to love those that cross my path.

Once I am deeply and completely satisfied in the waters of God’s love, I can really live. My cup overflows.

Let the joy begin!

Surely goodness and loving kindness shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Psalm 23:6

Prepping for Success

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by Lydia Floren

It is always soul-enriching, being with God. Why do I wait? What could possibly give me more life than spending time in His presence? Having those moments that soak into my soul?

Nothing.

Prepping for success

How can we be prepping for success? How do we minimize distractions first thing in the morning, and optimize our chances of success, in this all important meeting with The Person Who Loves Us Most? Here are a few thoughts that have helped me:

1. Restrict my daily “To Do” list to 5 items. I only allow 5 things on my to do list every day, and #1 is “Be loved by God, and listen.“

2. Plan and Prepare the night before:

Straighten up the night before, especially the area where I have my prayer/time with God.
Make this area inviting—soothing, peaceful. Pictures, flowers, music at the ready.
Get coffee set up to go automatically.
Have my journal/Bible/materials set out.
Go to bed on time, and set my alarm.

2. Keep a running task list handy. When things I need to do, or ideas I have, start crowding my mind, I can write them down and get them out of my head.

3. Continue reviewing my priorities and goals, so other things don’t creep into my life and
rob me of the most important things.

What do you do to stay focused in your daily meeting with God? Please share! I would love to hear from you!

A Recurring Struggle

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by Lydia Floren

It happened again. I got distracted, and pretty soon two hours had passed and I still hadn’t spent any time alone with God. Once again, I let other things keep me from meeting Him at the first of my day: an unfinished project, a messy house, calls to make, emails to answer. It is a recurring struggle.

I am not alone in this recurring struggle.

C.S. Lewis wrote in Mere Christianity,

“The real problem of the Christian life comes where people do not usually look for it. It comes the very moment you wake up each morning. All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving that all back; in listening to that other voice, taking that other point of view, letting that other larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing in and so on, all day. Standing back from all your natural fussing and fretting; coming in out of the wind.

“We can only do it for moments at first. But from those moments the new sort of life will be spreading through our system, because now we are letting Him work at the right part of us. It is the difference between paint, which is merely laid on the surface, and a dye or stain which soaks right through.”
Wow. Moments of “letting that other, larger, stronger quieter life come flowing in.” . Moments of joy, of peace, of finding perspective, of talking to my best friend. The more I have of these, the more I hunger for them.

Everything really does fall into place once I take the time to really connect with God, soaking in His love and presence.

Worth the effort, I think.

What are your thoughts?

What Should I Do Now? Making Plans

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by Lydia Floren

Last week in “What Should I Do Next?”, I wrote about making plans. I’m not going to lie. Planning takes time and perseverance. It is hard to make myself take a chunk of time to pray through and decide what is the best way to spend my time and resources.

But tough choices aren’t just limited to making plans.

When we face dilemmas, we ask ourselves, “What should I do now?“
Many times we are faced with dilemmas in life – difficult relationships, career decisions, parenting concerns. Everything seems muddled. We can feel totally at a loss about how to respond, or which way to go. And it stresses us out. We need wisdom beyond our own understanding.

Proverbs 2 has some great insight:
“If you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.” Prov. 2:1-5

Here’s another way to say these verses:

Steps Toward Wisdom (paraphrase of Prov. 2:1-5)

Accept and store up God’s word: make a practice of exposing yourself to the truth of God’s word and God’s presence every day. Respect it. Let it sink into your heart and spirit.
Listen: Pay attention to how God might be speaking to you in your situation. Do your best to try to understand what He is saying in your heart through His word and His presence.
ASK HIM for His perspective on your situation. Plead with Him to increase your understanding beyond what you can do on your own.
Search for God’s wisdom. Actively look for His insight. Let that be the most important thing to you, more important than the facts that you have gathered, your own conclusions, or the opinions others.

When you do these things, you will find the knowledge you seek about what your next steps should be. And you will experience just how amazing God is.

Remembering our highest priority keeps everything in perspective.
When we make our relationship with God our highest priority, He helps us put everything in perspective, and gives us wisdom beyond our own understanding.

Is your relationship with God your highest priority in life? How do your choices of how you spend your time and resources reflect that priority? What plans/steps can you make to better accept, listen, ask and search for God’s wisdom?

“And you will seek me and find me, when you search for me with all your heart. And I will be found by you, declares the Lord.” Jer. 29:12

What Should I Do Next?

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by Lydia Floren

Did you know that God is a planner? He said, “I know the plans that I have for you, plans for welfare and not calamity to give you a future and a hope.” In my opinion, part of following God is learning to ask for His wisdom, and make plans.

Plans remind me of what is most important.
Every January, I take some time to pray about the coming year, review priorities, goals and commitments. and make some plans. This time of prayerful planning helps me remind myself of what is most important, and then set goals that align accordingly.

Plans keep me from getting sidetracked.
Making plans also helps me because I am easily distracted. I have lots of interests, and it is easy for me to collect projects like some people collect stray cats. I have learned that when I pray and plan at the first of the year, and then periodically revisit those plans, I am more likely to not get sidetracked. Later in the year when I am juggling a half dozen incomplete projects, and I am driving myself crazy (ok, others, too), I can refer back to this plan and have some guidance about which time commitments to continue and which to set aside.

Plans help in answering what should I do next?
Do things go according to plan? Not always – sometimes not at all. But having the reference point of a prayfully made plan really helps when I get mired down in everyday life, and keeps me focused on what is really important. It helps me answer the questions, “What should I do next?” and “What should I do now?”

What benefits do you get from making plans? Have you prayed about any plans for this year?