Complaining….

Perfectionists, and perfectionists-in-recovery like me, constantly notice things that aren’t perfect (at least by our definition). The struggle we have is what to about it. My first impulse when I see something that needs improvement, is to try to fix it. Sometimes that is appropriate—like if a picture is hanging crooked or there are dishes in the sink. But lots of times, like with the imperfections I might see in my spouse, it is not my job to fix things. (In fact, in marriage constructive criticism is an oxymoron.)

If I can’t fix something, it is tempting to feel sorry for myself. This might start as an attitude of discontentment, like grumbling to myself. But a little annoyance can quickly morph into indignation. If left unchecked, it can expand to a a full fledged pity party, one I feel obliged to invite others to attend. And the way I do that is by complaining.

Why do we complain?

• One reason we complain is that we want sympathy from others.
• We could also use our complaining as a way of retaliating against someone we think has “done us wrong.”
• Another reason we might complain is thinking (maybe even subconsciously) that if we complain loudly and long enough, things will change.

The Bible says a lot about complaining but probably the most succinct words are in Philippians 2:14: “Do all things without grumbling or disputing.”

All things. Without grumbling. Or fussing.

Have you allowed complaining to creep into your thoughts and conversations?  Maybe today is a good day to start a zero tolerance policy of complaining. 

Click below to read other posts in the Complaint and Contentment Series:

Complaint and Contentment Series – Part 2: From Bitter to Better

Complaint and Contentment Series – Part 3: Dodge the Urge

Complaint and Contentment Series – Part 4: 10 Tips to Overcome Complaining

Photo by seyed mostafa zamani (CC BY 2.0)