Monthly Archives: May 2019

Our Loving Father

As my boys were growing up, I remember having this thought over and over again: it can’t get any better than this. This is the perfect age (ok maybe not at 15). I would want to just freeze that place in time and stay there. Yet now my sons are all grown, and I wouldn’t trade this present time with them for any other. It is wonderful to know them as fully independent adults, discovering and enjoying life in the unique way every human being does. And it is awesome that they allow me to be a part of it.

God loves us like this. He is not waiting until we grow up or become “good enough” before He loves us and appreciates us. He delights in each part of our journey, and enjoys us most where we are right now. He does challenge us to grow, but doesn’t expect more of us than our maturity can handle.

Do I make mistakes? Misbehave? Rebel? Have an attitude? Think I know more than my Loving Parent? Of course I do. Too often.

But God’s grace is amazing, and His arms always open to love and forgive and restore.

The Choice

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I’m messed up.

You are too.

We have weaknesses

Secrets

Scars

Fears

Blind spots.

God is aware.

He accepts us

in the middle of all our mess.

He knows us better than we know ourselves.

And He loves us more than we can comprehend,

So much so that He sacrificed dearly

so that He could lead us out of our confusion,

and into freedom and joy.

When we come to Him we are needy.

We’ve realized we can’t free ourselves from our dark tangle.

With one word, one costly Word, He erases all of our past wrongs.

even though we may repeat them (or already have).

He releases us

And then He reaches out to step alongside Him.

Will we accept His strength, His love?

Or will we turn away,

shutting our ears to our shouting need?

It isn’t easy to follow His way.

It takes hard work, persistence, perseverance

to shed the shackles that have long imprisoned us.

But we are not alone. And we are not on our own.

We do this together with Him.

Guided by Him.

Empowered by Him.

And the joy, the joy eclipses the pain.

The joy of belonging. Of being wanted, treasured.

Of understanding that we have a purpose. And make a difference.

The joy of knowing, to the depth of our souls

that we are loved–loved as we have always longed to be.

That joy is worth everything.

Where are you?

Are you just starting out?

Are you stuck in a pit of your own making?

Have you lost your way?

Right now, wherever you are,

God is there.

He knows

everything.

His eyes shine with a penetrating love that almost lifts you off your feet.

His hand reaches out to yours.

He’s made His choice.

What will yours be?

Perfect Peace

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May is Mental Health Awareness Month. It’s also a time of chaos for many, between the end of the school year, graduations, and the beginning of wedding season. In this time, it seems appropriate to take a moment to remember how to find peace in the midst of all the chaos, anxiety, and turmoil of life.

Andrew and I were the first of our friends to have a baby, and as all new parents know, that first little one goes with you everywhere. When Michael was first born we were going to a lot of weddings, and so Michael attended his first nuptials when he was just 2 months old. Afterwards at the reception we stuck him in his carrier and put him up on a table next to the dance floor so we could keep a close eye on him. Michael sucked on his pacy and slept while we twisted to “Pink Cadillac,” shagged to “Sweet Home Alabama” and slow danced to “Endless Love. ” He was conked out for hours.

Noise is Just Noise

How did he do that? Why didn’t all that noise wake him up? Why wasn’t he afraid?

He was fed. Warm. Safe. He already knew from past experience that if he cried–or even so much as stirred–there would be many hands to soothe and care for him.

The noise was just noise. He tuned it out.

God’s Peace

God gives us that kind of peace, a peace that comes from knowing that he is right there, protecting us and taking care of us. It is a peace that has nothing to do with the noise of life. It is an inner calm, a knowing, that He is with us—within us—and He loves us.

We don’t understand this. We can’t. We must just accept it. And know that when we become aware of the din, or of our need, he is right there. We are safe. We are loved. That is all we need to know.

God’s peace has nothing to do with our circumstances, and everything to do with His presence.

Three Tips for Moms of Tweens and Teens

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This post was provided by guest blogger, Letitia Suk.

If you are reaching for help parenting your teens, Letitia Suk’s new book, “100 Need-to-Know Tips for Moms of Tweens & Teens” is a grab-and-go guide to read along the way. Each short, stand-alone tip provides an immediate opportunity to strengthen your relationship with your teen for both now and for the decades ahead.

Here is a sample of three of the tips you can try right now:

Wave the White Flag.

If you are the parent of a teen, you have engaged in some conflict. In fact, you might have instigated it or inflamed it. It is never too late to wave the white flag and start a round of peace talks in your family. Someone needs to step up and stop yelling, door slamming or silent treatment. Might as well be you!

Calling for peace is not glossing over incidents but acknowledging your part in the current conflict. “I was angry, and I insulted your character, I’m sorry.” “I was tired, and I yelled at you. That wasn’t fair.” Asking for forgiveness is also a huge step but necessary to move on. Conflicts will come and go but the relationship is forever. What your teen sees from you in the way of how to resolve conflict will shape their future interactions as well.

Differentiate Between Rules and Policies.

Try fewer rules, more policies. A policy has flex to it, a rule is fixed. Use policies for the minors of life such as room cleaning, late phone calls, attendance at family events, established study times, etc. A policy can be changed by request, “I need to talk to Sara tonight, but she won’t be home till 10:30. Can I call her later?” You: “OK, thanks for asking.” Exception given, policy still in place.

Rules, however, cover the majors and are not flexible. No point in your teen asking if they can have a party when you’re out of town. Ditto, there won’t be an exception as to whether they can drink and drive or have a sleepover with their boyfriend/girlfriend. Policies can be created on the spot and revised often. Keep the actual rules very few and very clear. Remember, rules without relationship can lead to rebellion.

Enjoy Being a Mom.

To enjoy being a mom, it is important to enjoy your teen. Ask yourself, “What do I enjoy about my teen? What really works in our relationship?” Sure, there are likely stuck places but is important to start with what you are enjoying.

Write those thoughts down, reflect on them, be thankful, and focus on it. If you are having a hard time with this due to current circumstances, think back to what you used to enjoy and see if that is still there underneath a few layers. If you are really stuck, look back at baby pictures. They can renew perspective quickly!

Interested in reading more? 97 more tips are available in “100 Need-to-Know Tips for Moms of Tweens & Teens” (Ellie Claire/Hachette, 2019.) Beautifully designed with inspirational quotes on motherhood interspersed throughout, this book makes an excellent Mother’s Day gift for yourself or a friend.