Monthly Archives: October 2018

Fight or Flight? — Banishing Anxiety Part 3

Fight or Flight? Banishing Anxiety Part 3

by Lydia Floren

In my last blog, I talked about identifying the nebulous feeling of anxiety, which is really a form of fear, and asking the question What am I afraid of?

What AM I afraid of?

Are you feeling anxious? Take a moment and ask yourself, What AM I afraid of? Am I afraid of loss? Of physical pain? Job loss or financial ruin? Homelessness? The unknown, or the future? Do I fear rejection or loneliness? Death, or the process of dying? Am I afraid of failing? Letting other people down? Or myself? Or letting God down?

How am I reacting to this fear?

Once we identify what we are afraid of, another great question we can ask ourselves is How am I reacting to this fear? Typically, when we are afraid or anxious we react in one of 2 ways: fight or flight.

Fight

One option we might choose when we are afraid is to fight – to try as hard as we can to push our fears away. This fighting usually doesn’t involve fists or guns. But, though our means of combat are subtle, make no mistake: we are actively defending ourselves. For example, when we feel threatened we might try to manipulate, or control, our situation. Or, we might work hard to be financially independent, or super-healthy, or to have everyone like us, or to be in charge, or to win. Or, to be recognized or praised. Any time we push forward in response to fear, we are in fight mode.

Flight

When we are afraid, if we don’t feel like we can fight, we tend to run and hide. We check out of life. We might flee by withdrawing into alcohol, or Netflix, or the internet, or a hobby. Or, reading a book. Or, even work. When we withdraw as a reaction to fear, we are in flight mode.

When you feel afraid, do you usually fight or flee? Usually, based on our personality and life experiences, we favor one response or the other.

So how about you? How do you react when you feel threatened?

What Am I Afraid of? Banishing Anxiety Part 2

4 Replies

by Lydia Floren

The first step toward banishing anxiety is recognizing it is there. The signs of anxiety can be subtle: irritability, depression, desire to escape, mental fogginess, lack of concentration, tendency toward isolation, change in personality. So if we sit back for a minute, and ask ourselves, “What is the matter?”, and identify that we are anxious, we can move forward towards dispelling it.

But before we talk about the next step in banishing anxiety, let’s talk about what anxiety is.

What is anxiety?

So, what is anxiety, really? There are all kinds of fancy definitions, but the bottom line is this: anxiety is fear. If you are anxious, you are afraid. You might be afraid of something in particular. Or, of multiple things. Or, you might have a generalized sense of fear all the time, which we doctors call “generalized anxiety disorder.”

What am I afraid of?

The first step in banishing anxiety is to admit that we have it. The second step is to ask ourselves, What am I afraid of? What has changed? What is bothering me so much that my peace and hope has evaporated? What fear has paralyzed me, or kept me stuck in a cycle of discouragement and worry?

So, what AM I afraid of?

Recently I have noticed some of the signs that let me know my anxiety levels are up. So what am I afraid of? Me, personally? Right now, I am afraid of losing my mother-in-law. She is 88 years old, and for the last couple of months has been in and out of the hospital (mostly in), with multiple medical problems. I am afraid of her having to suffer. And of watching her suffer. I am afraid of doing too much for her when she is ready to go. And I am afraid of not doing enough. And, most of all, I am afraid of losing her.

Once I identify these fears, I can bring them to my Heavenly Father, my friend who is closer than a brother, who says “You don’t need to be afraid. I am here with you. You are not alone. And you are not on your own. I love her more than you do. And I will help you, and the rest of her family, help her make the right decisions. And when the time is right, I will bring her home to Me. Just relax. And trust me. Rest in me. Rest with me.”

As I write these words, God’s inexplicable peace settles over me.

And the fear, the anxiety, goes away.

Are you feeling unsettled? Not yourself? Take a moment and ask yourself: What am I afraid of?

What’s the Matter? Banishing Anxiety Part 1

5 Replies

What’s the Matter? Banishing Anxiety Part 1

by Lydia Floren

I’ve been anxious lately. Wow. Just admitting that is powerful.

It’s not always easy for me to recognize anxiety in myself. It creeps up on me. I don’t realize what is going on at first. I just know that instead of being hopeful and confident, I start to second guess myself. I have a harder time making decisions. My thoughts become muddled. I lose my sense of humor. I find myself withdrawing, easily annoyed–even a little paranoid. When it gets bad enough, I just want to stay in bed all day with the covers over my head.

Any one of these symptoms of anxiety can be attributed to other things. I can act in similar ways when I am tired or hungry, or haven’t been spending time with God, or have experienced a disappointment or loss. But there is a unique constellation of clues – including a change in my outlook and even my personality – that, when grouped together, help me to recognize my anxiety more readily.

What’s the matter?

Sometimes, others can also help me see it. One time, when I was at work, and I was being a real you-know-what, no one could do anything right. After huffing and fussing for an hour or two, I walked up to the nurses station. (I was probably taking a breath before I began my next rant.) But before I could say anything, Lori, one of my sweet nurses asked: “Dr. Floren, what is the matter? What is going on with you? You don’t seem like yourself today.” (Ha. No kidding.) I looked at her for a minute. And then my eyes welled up, and a tear trickled down my cheek. I sank down into a chair and put my head in my hands. “I am so sorry,“ I said. “I am flying to Asheville tomorrow to be with my only sister as she gets her first dose of chemotherapy.”

In order to banish anxiety, we have to realize it is there. Recognizing our anxiety, either through observing our behavior pattern or maybe the gentle prodding of a friend, is the first step toward dispelling it.

Are you irritable? Withdrawn? Restless? Not thinking clearly? Are your friends commenting that you are “not yourself?” Maybe you need to ask yourself, “What’s the matter? Am I anxious about something?”

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27