–guest blog (author anonymous)
My thoughts are not very nice to me. Out of nowhere, they will stab me in the back with negative self-talk. I mentioned this to my friend James, and he recommended I “name” these different negative self-talk tracks. “These ‘voices’ are probably protecting something,” he said. “Get curious about what that is…” So I did! And I named each voice–each type of negative self-talk–after a supervillain. I realized that I hired each voice to help me cope with deep pain, but in the end the voices turned on me and made things worse.
Spiral-man – the anxious swirl-monster
Why I hired him: When I felt ashamed for any and all mistakes, I texted Spiral-man to come over and ensure I would never be worthless or dismissed. He assures me that if I achieve my own perfection, purpose, and righteousness then I won’t feel worthless and dismissed. His voice pushes and second guesses everything… just in case I missed something.
What he sounds like: “But what if… Don’t forget… also maybe…”
Where I end up: Anxiety. Self doubt.
The White Knuckle – the brutal competitor
Why I hired him: When I felt passed over and unchosen, I rage-called The White Knuckle as a piece of muscle that will make sure I will NEVER go unnoticed again. He assures me that through brutal hard work, I can achieve my own adequacy, respect, worth attention… then I won’t feel worthless, dismissed, and forgotten.
What he sounds like: “Push. HARDER. If you’re not in pain, you’re not working hard enough.”
Where I end up: Exhaustion. Resolve. Constraint.
Shucksy – the pitiful slime-slinger
Why I hired him: When I felt friendless and alone, Shucksy nuzzled up to keep me cute, contained, and palatable. He promises that if I live small, I’ll never be a disappointment. No one will ever be disappointed with me. I’ll never fail. And I’ll never succeed too much. That way, I’ll never be alone. Better to live as a failure than to embarrass myself by attempting and THEN failing.
What he sounds like: “Man you suck… but I guess it’s okay… you’re kind of cute (if you squint). Get comfortable in the misery – you’re not going anywhere. No one can love you anyways.”
Where I end up: Self-pity. Shame. Depression.
The Gnaw – emissary of the void
Why I hired him: When I felt defeated and hopeless, I screamed for The Gnaw to help me retain the precious little resources I had left. He constantly reminds me to never get comfortable, and never let my guard down. He promises that if I despair and worry, the loneliness and trauma of this world won’t swallow me whole. Oblivion is always a hairsbreadth away – Life is NOT okay.
What he sounds like: “Your future is doomed. Your resources are inadequate. You’re a fool.”
Where I end up: Dread. Despair.
Quite a team, eh?
We all need to feel valued, important, purposeful, and connected.
Our needs are real, but negative self-talk doesn’t help.
Our needs are real. We all need to feel valued, important, purposeful, and connected. But it is easy to turn to villains–different types of negative self-talk– instead turning to God to get those needs filled. So how do we combat these supervillains and find the real answers to these deep-seated needs?
The first weapon we wield to combat these supervillains is exposure–what I’ve been talking about today. Name these voices. Identify their origins. Outline their agendas. Invite God into the process.
Stay tuned for more… next week on… THE BLOG!
What Supervillains rage against you in your head? What are they protecting? What strategies work for you?
Leave a Reply