Love Is…

Part 1: Three Weddings and a Funeral,  by Lydia Floren

Have you ever attended a funeral where you pulled out a piece of paper and started taking notes? Weird, right? Well, I can remember one time when I did just that. I was attending the memorial service for Mary Markquart, the mother in law of my dear friend, Terri.  About halfway through the remarks, I grabbed a pen from the pew in front of me and started jotting things down on my program. By the end, I had filled every available space with my scribbles. 

Let me back up.

Three years earlier, Terri Markquart, called to tell me that her mother-in-law was just diagnosed with ovarian cancer, a grim diagnosis with limited life expectancy.

Many people, including Terri and I, were praying for Mary and her family. From time to time, Terri would give me an update.  By God’s strength, Mary survived surgery and several rounds of chemo, allowing her more time – more good quality time – with her loved ones, than anyone dared hope for.  Mary was able to attend the weddings of two of her grandchildren, and finally, in her last days, she witnessed the nuptials of her only daughter. As her time approached, which was remarkably free of pain, she was able to say good-bye to everyone she most cared about.  And ,when she was unable to talk, she could still say “I love you.” With those words on her lips–“I love you“– she slipped into the next life as graciously as she had traveled through this one.

At Mary’s funeral, people remarked, not as much on Mary’s accomplishments –though there were many–, but more on her character. They shared who she was, not what she had done:   Mary was gracious, kind, and compassionate. She was generous, hospitable, and interested in people.  And she was a person of deep faith.

The last person to speak was her minister.  “I am reading from Mary’s underlined patched-together Bible,” he said as he held it up.   “One passage that Mary clearly loved was 1 Corinthians 13:4-8:

‘Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.’ ”  

“Believe it or not,” he continued, “as much as these words describe Mary’s life, she did not mark up these verses in her Bible nearly as much as she did the first few words of the next chapter.”  

He paused, and then smiled. 

“1 Cor 14:1 begins with this little phrase: ‘Make love your aim.’

“This sums up Mary’s life. She lived her life focused on love.”

What does it mean to make love your goal in life?