5 Habits to Help You Treat Others with Tender Loving Care

We are all under a lot of stress these days, aren’t we? And that stress can come out in unpleasant ways. Take me, for example. When I’m on edge I tend to get snappish. I am more irritable, and don’t listen as well. I am likely to be more focused on myself, and less concerned about other people. (My kids, if they’re reading this, are nodding and muttering “You think, Mom?”)

When we are stressed out, good habits of communication can fade, and ugly ones emerge–or reemerge. So how can we avoid this descent into self-absorbed crabbiness? How do we continue to treat each other with Tender Loving Care (TLC) when we are not at our best? Here are some habits that can help:

5 habits to help you treat others with TLC:

Spend time with God. Take time every morning to pray (talking and listening) and read the Bible. This is critical for every believer, especially when we are stressed. When we step back and reconnect with God, it shifts our focus off ourselves and onto Him–His wisdom, His provision, His love, His leading. We realize we are not alone. And we are not on our own. He is with us every minute of every day. And He’s got our back.
Use reminders. Even if we start our day well, we can quickly descend into the worry of the moment. Reminders, such as cards or sticky notes or some sort of symbol we carry, can help us recall and cement truth into our minds. For example, jot down a verse in the morning and carry with you through the day. You could also post reminders in your car or refrigerator, or computer monitor or in your phone. Another way to prompt your memory is to wear or carry a physical symbol of a truth, such as the bracelets, keychains or necklaces in our store. Deuteronomy 6:6-9 says “These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”
Take a breath. Instead of saying the first thing that pops in your head, first take a breath. While you inhale and exhale ask yourself: Is it helpful? Is it kind? In her book, 30 days To Taming Your Tongue, author Deborah Smith Pegue gives lots of great tips like this about how to tame your tongue. (I should probably get it out and read it again.) Be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger. James 1:26
Leave it unsaid. One of my favorite pieces of marriage advice is “leave a few things unsaid.” Some things, no matter how they are spoken, may do more harm than good. Often, the best option is to say nothing at all. “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”
Give people the benefit of the doubt. Right now, everyone in the world is stressed out. No one is at their best. We would all ease each other’s burdens if we just gave each other extra grace, instead of being quick to take offense or rush to judgment.