Habits of Loving: Learning to Love Part 6

learn to love by developing habits of loving

Our brain has the most amazing hard drive, and it is programmed by our habits–habits of thought that lead to habits of action. Grouped together, these habits act like an operating system for our life. Our collection of habits largely determines how we live. They run in the background, so we don’t consciously think about them. So one of the best ways we can learn to love like Jesus is to develop specific habits of loving that will happen whether we are consciously thinking about it or not.

How habits develop: repetition

A habit is created through repetitive action, until it becomes second nature to you. It usually takes 4-6 weeks to develop a habit, if you do it every day. And the best results come when you only work on one or 2 habits at a time. And an added bonus of a habit is that when you do something over and over again you get better and better at it. Practice makes progress. Every time you follow God’s prompting to love someone, you hone your skill.

When you focus on developing a habit of loving, then you are programming love into your personal hard drive. It becomes a part of who you are, easier to do than to not do.

Here are a few ideas of some love-habits you can choose to incorporate into your life:

Make eye contact and smile at every person you encounter. One of my kids told me one time that in high school, if someone smiled at him when he walked in the door, he would have a good day. But if someone scowled at him or was rude, he would have a bad day.
Be positive. Choose to look on the bright side of things. And choose not to complain.
Always give someone the benefit of the doubt. Never assume that someone’s motives are negative. Someone is frowning, or rude? Maybe it isn’t because they are a mean person, but because they have a splitting headache.
When you think of something that might encourage someone, say it to them. We all appreciate things about people, but don’t often take the time to say them.
Don’t be in such a rush that you don’t take time to listen and connect with people along the way. I spent some extra time listening to an angry patient the other day, and her whole demeanor changed. She just needed to be heard.
Share a laugh. Nothing lifts a person’s day like a good belly laugh. One of my nurses told me one time “You know it’s going to be a good day if you hear your doctor laughing in the room with a patient.”
Be a giver, a person that is giving more than receiving. Don’t keep count. Pick up the check. Mow your neighbors yard. Give a gift to the hotel housekeeper or the front desk.

Once you nail down one love-habit, start working on another one. Pretty soon you will have a bunch of them. And through these attitudes and actions, you will see your life transformed.

What habits of loving have you developed? Which one do you want to work on next?