This post was provided by guest blogger, Letitia Suk.

If you are reaching for help parenting your teens, Letitia Suk’s new book, “100 Need-to-Know Tips for Moms of Tweens & Teens” is a grab-and-go guide to read along the way. Each short, stand-alone tip provides an immediate opportunity to strengthen your relationship with your teen for both now and for the decades ahead.

Here is a sample of three of the tips you can try right now:

Wave the White Flag.

If you are the parent of a teen, you have engaged in some conflict. In fact, you might have instigated it or inflamed it. It is never too late to wave the white flag and start a round of peace talks in your family. Someone needs to step up and stop yelling, door slamming or silent treatment. Might as well be you!

Calling for peace is not glossing over incidents but acknowledging your part in the current conflict. “I was angry, and I insulted your character, I’m sorry.” “I was tired, and I yelled at you. That wasn’t fair.”  Asking for forgiveness is also a huge step but necessary to move on. Conflicts will come and go but the relationship is forever. What your teen sees from you in the way of how to resolve conflict will shape their future interactions as well.

Differentiate Between Rules and Policies.

Try fewer rules, more policies. A policy has flex to it, a rule is fixed. Use policies for the minors of life such as room cleaning, late phone calls, attendance at family events, established study times, etc. A policy can be changed by request, “I need to talk to Sara tonight, but she won’t be home till 10:30. Can I call her later?” You: “OK, thanks for asking.” Exception given, policy still in place.

Rules, however, cover the majors and are not flexible. No point in your teen asking if they can have a party when you’re out of town. Ditto, there won’t be an exception as to whether they can drink and drive or have a sleepover with their boyfriend/girlfriend. Policies can be created on the spot and revised often. Keep the actual rules very few and very clear. Remember, rules without relationship can lead to rebellion.

Enjoy Being a Mom.

To enjoy being a mom, it is important to enjoy your teen. Ask yourself, “What do I enjoy about my teen? What really works in our relationship?” Sure, there are likely stuck places but is important to start with what you are enjoying.

Write those thoughts down, reflect on them, be thankful, and focus on it. If you are having a hard time with this due to current circumstances, think back to what you used to enjoy and see if that is still there underneath a few layers. If you are really stuck, look back at baby pictures. They can renew perspective quickly!

Interested in reading more? 97 more tips are available in “100 Need-to-Know Tips for Moms of Tweens & Teens” (Ellie Claire/Hachette, 2019.)  Beautifully designed with inspirational quotes on motherhood interspersed throughout, this book makes an excellent Mother’s Day gift for yourself or a friend.