5 More Habits to Help You Treat Others with Tender Loving Care

5 more habits to help you treat others with TLC

When we are under stress, it’s harder to be nice. It’s hard enough to be kind and loving when things are going well. But when tension builds, our tempers fray, and we get more self-focused. And we are much more likely to be rude to one another. So how do we maintain a gracious spirit toward those around us when we are stressed out? Last week I talked about 5 habits that can help you stay kind under stress:

Spend time with God.
Use reminders.
Take a breath before you speak, and ask yourself: Is it helpful? Is it kind?
Leave it unsaid.
Give people the benefit of the doubt.

This week I want to add 5 more habits to this list.

5 more habits to help you stay kind under stress:

Forgive quickly. If someone did you wrong, acknowledge it. And then let it go. In the parable of the debtor, Jesus pointed out that any amount of forgiveness we offer pales in comparison to the degree of forgiveness we enjoy as God’s child.
Think (and speak) positively. Whatever is in your head is likely to come out of your mouth. Knowing this, now, more than ever it makes sense to follow Paul’s advice about focusing on the positive. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. Philippians 4:8
Laugh every day. Above my kitchen sink sits a little plaque that says “laugh every day,” courtesy of my friend Carol. I don’t know about you, but nothing changes my mood better than a good laugh. After a long day at work, one of my favorite ways to relieve stress is to tune in to Pandora’s Comedy Radio on my way home. More often than not, I’ll walk in the door smiling or laughing.
Learn from/in your mistakes. This is hard to hear, but the best way to learn how to react better under stress is to be in a stressful situation. So when you are tensed up, remember that you are in learning mode. And you are bound to make mistakes. After things settle down, take a little time to ask yourself: “Why did I say/do that? What assumptions or thoughts might be fueling my response?” In addition, ask God to give you His insight. I love David’s prayer in Psalm 139:23-24: Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.
Give yourself grace. You will mess up. Everyone does. When you do, own it. Make amends as best you can. And then let it go, and move on. Don’t keep beating yourself up. If you are constantly putting yourself down, you won’t learn or grow. You will just wallow in regret. Before Paul became a believer, he was cruel and vindictive to all Christ-followers. In order to be effective in the present, Paul had to let go of all those horrible things he did in his past. One way he did this was by continually facing forward. He reminded the Philippians to do the same. “Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have laid hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on…” (Philippians 3:13-14)

When we’re under stress, it’s not easy to remember to be kind to folks. And when we aren’t, our relationships suffer. Practicing these habits can help us to build each other up, instead of tearing each other down. It’s a win-win for everyone.

What habits help you to be gracious under stress? Please share. We would love to hear from you.