Avoiding Mother Guilt

For mothers, holidays can be overwhelming. When Thanksgiving and Christmas roll around the pressure is on to create the perfect holiday experience. Unfortunately, things rarely go perfectly. Hence, mother guilt.

mother guilt def: the ability of mothers to feel guilty about anything and everything no matter how much they may or may not be responsible.

Every mother battles mother guilt, but it is especially bad at the holidays.

So what’s a mother to do? How do you learn to escape the guilt, and restore a sense of peace and balance, especially this time of year?

Here are some thoughts about how to keep holiday madness manageable, and avoid mother guilt:

1. Keep some downtime in your schedule. As tempting as it is to fill in every spare minute, you need some breathing space this time of year even more than at other times.
2. Streamline entertaining. If you are hosting the Christmas party this year, order out. We used to serve Chinese for every Christmas office party. Another idea is to have everyone bring something.
3. Decorate for maximal impact, minimal effort. For example, buying 6-8 small live poinsettias is a great way to liven up your home without pulling out all the decorating boxes.
4. Simplify gift-giving. Draw names for the relatives, instead of buying for everyone. Or agree to stop exchanging gifts altogether. Or do what our family does: have a goodwill Christmas.
5. Manage expectations and create buy in. Let everyone have some say in the plans, and make sure they are communicated well.

Keep your sense of humor. Laugh every day. A good belly laugh can defuse a tense situation better than most anything.