The Impact of an Attitude

Impact Series, Part Two

We each impact other people’s lives every day. Sometimes that impact is positive, but other times? Well, not so much. I had one of those not-so-much moments recently.

I was invited to eat dinner out with some former coworkers. I love these girls and jumped at the chance to connect with them and catch up with their lives. We were meeting at a local restaurant at 6. But things started to sour for me when I was running behind and arrived 15 minutes late. I was annoyed with myself for making them wait. My mood deteriorated further once I was seated at the table. The restaurant was in the middle of their Friday night rush, and our waitress was nowhere to be found. When she finally emerged, instead of coming to our table, she started taking orders from the huge table of ten sitting next to us. I craned my neck, trying to get her attention. When that failed, I looked around for another person to help. My friends seemed oblivious. Except for murmuring something about how busy things were, they continued to laugh and chat.

When our server finally arrived—without any apology for the delay, I might add—I was pretty ticked off. I responded to her curtly, at the point of being rude. A marked contrast to the polite smiling responses of my table-mates. But instead of defusing the situation, their reactions fueled my anger—only now I was angry at myself. I was still annoyed at the waitress, but I was even more annoyed with the way I was acting. And throughout the evening, every time I thought I had my emotions under control, something else happened and I felt my irritation start to rise again. By the end of the night, when the manager came around on his usual rounds and asked “how was everything this evening?” I knew the best thing I could do was keep my mouth shut. And leave a generous tip.

What a difference an attitude makes! My self-focused irritation was such a contrast to my friends’ selfless grace. Instead of making that server’s night better, I made it worse. And probably made my friends’ evening a little worse as well. But while my actions impacted others negatively that night, my friends’ actions had quite the opposite effect on me. They helped me to remember that treating people with love and respect was important, no matter how they treat me.

Every day we have an impact on others. We have lots of opportunities to love others in our own unique way, both with our attitudes and our actions. But the choice is ours: do we treat others with patience and kindness and understanding—that First Corinthians kind of love? Or do we focus on what we want or expect, and leave a trail of pain in our wake?

And let’s be real. We all have those “not-so-much” moments, those times when we treat others poorly. But those don’t have to define us. God is in the transformation business. Day by day, if we let Him, He is teaching us to love like He does. In John 15:12 Jesus said “Love others as I have loved you.” Selflessly. Graciously. With a servant heart. Regardless of how others treat us.

When we love like Jesus, we not only bless those around us. We are blessed as well.